Windows 8, my burden, my enemy (Dell)

To say I hate my quad core Dell XPS hotrod is an understatement. I can't even scroll through jpegs without crashes or some crazy COM Surrogate errors. It's no faster than my Dell w7, 3 years its senior.

It doesn't come with any software disk. I'm either going to shoot the computer, myself, or find a remedy.

I'm thinking to just do a clean fresh reinstall of everything, but I don't know how to do that.

What are my options? There are endless convoluted tech heavy MS websites for other sufferers, browsing them is like falling into a black hole.

I even get messages to update to w8.1 but when I try, somehow I end up with w8 and not upgrade. Thanks Bill! You got me again.

I was thinking of putting a craigslist ad offering 75 bucks to anyone that get this thing running right. I dunno. Please can someone at least hold my hand?
No. Do it now. Dell is crap. All of that bullshit software they loaded on your computer is crap. What are you waiting for? Clean it out. You don't need any of that crap. Format your hard drive and do a clean install of Windows.