archived-videos What do you think?

Loved the script - quite clever and the narration was terrifically worded ("house of Tucker"). Funny dialogue too, albeit too much at some points. Liked how we, the audience, forgot about the beginning until the end. The shots were fantastic; I especially liked when they came across the urban samurai, and at the beginning at the playground. Editing was well done, although there were some continuity mishaps, but for the most part, for someone who's just picked up movie-making, it's impressive! :) You'll certainly learn quickly if you keep it up. Good luck with future films - and post then here when you do!
 
Nice video with some great shots.

A bit too long for my taste, the narrative over explains too much and the images too little at times. Like the deal in the park.

Also some of the acting needs improvement, sometimes there are pauses in the cuts, which is like "please speed up! I can't wait for you to move!". Maybe it can be solved through editing.
Also tell them not to look at the camera :-)

The audio isn't great. It sounds like one film we made, which would have been much nicer with a good sound.

The music is over used for my taste too. Mainly when the audio isn't that great.

If you deliver a final twist, mainly in comedy, you don't want to make it that long. People get a bit bored and dissapointed from such a long wait.

Having said all that, you put off a pretty long short, with some great shots, nice composition, a full script, and with some level of fluency. That's a great start!
 
short had some great moments. only thing I'd say is piece together a boom pole and mic set up. i could be wrong but i assume you were using the on camera mic. I think with a better mic set up, you will be much happier with your results.
 
Started good, for the first 2 minutes, but when the samurai guy or whatever is introduce, from there, this moment.....everything collapse. And acting is amateur. If is jsut for fun that OK, you are allowed to have fun. But id you are serious in your filmmaking, it fail. Sad, but true.

Camera work: Framing are random. No real logic behind it.

Editing: You obviously do not know about the main technique to make an invisible cut.

Production design: 0

After taught: I only liked the first 30 seconds. I felt some skills there. Maybe it was chance.

Good luck on your next project.
 
Definitely some good writing in there, a little less on the narration (though it was good) and a little more from the scenes them selves would be nice though.

Technically, well sound is an issue naturally, there are some good edits and some not so good edits. That comes with practice. As does composition and pretty much everything else.

Definitely get a tripod for your camera. Hand held is fine as part of a piece, but usually shouldn't be the entirety. Sort of subjective, I know people that poo-poo hand-held no matter what and I know their opposite. To me it is just one of many available cinematic devices.

For example, you have several static shots where the actors come into frame approaching a house, peering around a corner, etc. Or the couch with the two gamers (GREAT line about the controllers, very funny) is another static part. Those should really be on sticks. Use the hand-held as punctuation and it becomes more effective.
 
Last edited:
I liked it :D

As has been said, the sound could be improved. It could be made a bit shorter, but I LOVED the VO. I'm a sucker for putting on accents to read VOs though. They always sound better.
PS: Morgan Freeman counts as his own accent, and I encourage it's use in any and all VO/narration work.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top