We have a problem.

[Firm1]

Ok, so my brother and I are writing a short that could be expanded into a feature length film. The problem is, we've come across a problem. Both of us have a solution for it, but we can't seem to agree on each other's idea. Therefore, I am coming to you guys to get feedback and see which approach we should take.


So the story centers around a guy who lives in this digital world but originally grew up in the 50's and 60's. He keeps having flashbacks of his past life. Now, we both think that having him go to war and having flashbacks of it is a good idea, but my brother thinks that it should bare some heavy significance whereas I think the mere fact that he just went to war is enough.

In other words, he thinks something should happen in the war to enhance his personality, whereas I think just showing him at war is enough. Bare in mind, this is a 15 minute short, limited budget, and the movie is mainly focused on the digital world and what's happening there, rather than his past life.

So, what do you guys think? Should we add on to the movie or just keep it simple?

 

[Wolverine237]

Every scene in your film should have significance to either the story or character. Ask yourself, does adding flashbacks help tell the story? If so, write your heart out. If not, cut it.

I would personally suggest making your flashback scenes be especially significant adding more depth to the character. War changes men. How did it change your protagonist?

 

[Marshall_Tyler]

Keep it simple. Not experiencing the traumatizing event that happens to your character leaves it much more opened to interpretation, which is usually what short films are for. People will decide for themselves, did war change him or not?

 

[Zensteve]

we can't seem to agree on each other's idea. (...) which approach we should take.

Thunderdome it.

...or, do a short version for the short script, and an expanded version for the longer script.

 

[Anxu]

Warning. Bad language or content. *

It should be relevent in someway. *

Maybe the character could have different flash backs to things he did and people he killed in war. maybe when meeting someone new and much younger he sometimes sees himself as having killed that persons previous life before geting reincarnated. maybe he meets a pretty woman and has flash back to having raped her a (previous sole/life) and feels remorse for having done it. Perhaps at the end we see him taking medication and then see other users of the drug taking the same medication and having the same flash backs. then we realise its the drug causing it and then see the man go crazy and he sees a homeless man turn into a naked woman covered in chocloates and so he strips off naked and tries eat the choclates and have sex. zoom out to show people screaming at him and a police officer shooting him and then zoom out view to show it all on tv news blaming bath salts for making another zombie. Then show a wealthy pharmacuical tycoon laughing and saying gallible public. *

(Disclaimer: I am not saying bath salts do or dont do the above and I am not saying phamacutical companies do or dont do anything bad. the above is simply a story idea and is not based on facts).

 

[EmilyNancyJean]

So the story centers around a guy who lives in this digital world but originally grew up in the 50's and 60's. He keeps having flashbacks of his past life. Now, we both think that having him go to war and having flashbacks of it is a good idea, but my brother thinks that it should bare some heavy significance whereas I think the mere fact that he just went to war is enough.

In other words, he thinks something should happen in the war to enhance his personality, whereas I think just showing him at war is enough. Bare in mind, this is a 15 minute short, limited budget, and the movie is mainly focused on the digital world and what's happening there, rather than his past life.

So, what do you guys think? Should we add on to the movie or just keep it simple?

What is his goal in the film? What is he striving for?

 

[FantasySciFi]

Sounds a little like Robocop, Cyborg and other sci-fi where the re-purposed dead soldier has flashbacks of his former life. Echoing previous comments, unless it drives the drama or helps give depth to your character, you don't need to add it. Since we don't know the rest of your storyline, it's hard to judge if it's appropriate. Fifteen minutes is not a lot of time to add material that isn't directly relevant. If the flashback brings back his humanity or drives his need for revenge, then it may be needed. Since you mentioned you might make it a feature, what you could do is write the "feature" version but only produce the first act as your 15 minute short.

The "first act" introduces the central characters (protagonist and antagonists), the theme, the supposed goal (this can and often does change), and leads up to the first problem which is resolved. Arguably the "first act" which you are shooting also has a 3-act structure. You can think of it as setting up the first part of a trilogy or a webseries. I suggest this as it helps you to address the 15 minute short while postponing some details until your feature.

If you're shooting this yourself, expect that you will also need to make script revisions along the way. The first draft is never the shooting script. So balancing everything, you can write in the experience if it's relevant to the drama or character though it can appear in a later feature (during the feature's 'Act Two'). For your initial short, you are just introducing the audience to the characters and presumptive goal. The remembering can be as essential as you need it to be. A quick flash may be all that's needed initially to show that things are not what they seem in the digital world. The significance becomes evident later. It's a tough call but one that depends on the script and how you intend to market the 15 minute film--as THE story or a teaser/prequel. Best wishes as you proceed.

 

[Sweetie]

So, what do you guys think? Should we add on to the movie or just keep it simple?

It depends. Will adding to it add value or subtract from it?

Sometimes it's hard to decide. It's part of the reason editors are paid so well. The director puts together his/her vision, then gives it to the editor and they sometimes put it together a different way that works better.

Either idea could be best. If you shoot both ways and decide later which finished product is better may be a good option for you? It might be great experience for you too. The best might be something in between, or something completely different that both of you didn't anticipate.

 

[Alcove Audio]

So the story centers around a guy who lives in this digital world but originally grew up in the 50's and 60's. He keeps having flashbacks of his past life.

That's not a story, that's the description of a character.

What you really need to do is complete the plot/story. What is the end goal? How does he get there? Does his past life affect the journey or his behavior? That's how you decide if the back story is important.

 

[mus]

If it doesn't have any significance, then there is no reason to show it. Every tiny little scene needs some significance.


Forrest Gump didn't seem to change much after going to Vietnam, though inside his head he must've matured more, seeing the true horrors of the world, and missing Jenny and Alabama.... However, if this small impact wasn't enough, it made him a hero and he met the man who we would go into business and become a millionaire with... not to mention meeting the man who gave him the idea before dying in an ambush.

What I'm saying is, if something isn't significant to the character or story, don't put it in your script.

 

[8salacious9]

I don't really get this to be honest..

 

[that1guyy]

I don't really get this to be honest..

Then why did you post at all?

@OP
I think what you should figure out is did going to war change him in a way that directly relates to something that is happening in the actual plot? For examples, the horrors of war make him be a recluse and shy away from the modern world so in present day, this becomes a fork in the story where the protagonist has to make some sort of decision based off the past. Like someone else said, there has to be a reason for every thing you put in the movie. Don't put anything extra that has no meaning

 

[Filman]

A digital nerd with war memories. Sounds like the problem that he's trying to overcome is about him simply being distracted. His thoughts wander away when, what he truly would want is to be focused on this moment.

Were these memories significant for him or were they just where he were in his earlier life? I say, have him be painfully irritated about not being able to focus and make the memories free from significance.

 

[Firm1]

Hey guys. Thanks for the nice responses. We pretty much worked it out, after much fighting. Since it's a short, we're only going to give them enough information so that the audience knows he fought in Vietnam and went through an intense experience that to a certain extant, hardened him.

Also, I know this doesn't make sense and sounds like a shitty movie, but that's only because I described what needed to be described without getting too deep into it. Hopefully, if we can finish it, I can show you guys by summers end.

 

[Alcove Audio]

I know this ... sounds like a shitty movie...

Only if you don't put your best efforts into it.