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watch Vitamin Time - Thoughts on Short Comedy??

I was contacted by the entertainment organizer of a company called Shaklee, asking if I could make a short comedy video for a convention they were doing in Nashville, Tennessee. I obviously said yes and this is what I came up with!!

It's the same character from my video "Diarrhear" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c36JPPFpLs4

I would really love to hear your guy's thoughts on this and what you felt was funny, needed improvement on lighting, camera, acting, editing, etc.

Thank you very much for your time!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83bZi8t5eCg
 
It was very dry, but not a good kind of dry like vermouth or BlackAdder. The only part I really found humorous was the mustache bit.

Pacing was slow, and it seemed like the bulk of the video was the dad's head shot. Would have been nice to see more coverage. Maybe show the kid reacting and not just showing him when he talks.

The acting was good and I liked that you used pics of the crew in the credits.
 
I agree with jmoschner. The lighting was pretty good. You seem to have that figured out pretty well, but the actual material was kind of boring. My advice would be to think of some more jokes and funny segments to add in between every chunk of dialogue.

And as jmoschner mentioned, more angles. Over the shoulders possibly. Just more shots to make it interesting. And maybe instead of having the kid sitting down the whole time, you could have had him move somewhere else.

One other minor thing that I noticed was that the room tone of the audio changed a lot. Meaning I could hear light static on the shots of the father, but none on the kid. Recording the room with everyone out of just being quite for about 20 seconds then looping it over the clips fixes this pretty easily.
 
Yes that has been the biggest complaint I have received, just not enough variation with shot types and jokes. My whole idea was that the joke was simply this whole conversation with the father and son as a whole. But even then I realize I need more jokes spread throughout.

Thanks for the feedback!
It was very dry, but not a good kind of dry like vermouth or BlackAdder. The only part I really found humorous was the mustache bit.

Pacing was slow, and it seemed like the bulk of the video was the dad's head shot. Would have been nice to see more coverage. Maybe show the kid reacting and not just showing him when he talks.

The acting was good and I liked that you used pics of the crew in the credits.
 
Yes I agree Vihtic, I'm an actor at heart so when I direct the first thing I'm looking at is the performances, not shot types, lighting, anything. I need to balance that. I've learned my lesson though, the next comedy short I do will for sure be different.

I'd love to still hear other people's perspectives! The more the merrier! haha
I agree with jmoschner. The lighting was pretty good. You seem to have that figured out pretty well, but the actual material was kind of boring. My advice would be to think of some more jokes and funny segments to add in between every chunk of dialogue.

And as jmoschner mentioned, more angles. Over the shoulders possibly. Just more shots to make it interesting. And maybe instead of having the kid sitting down the whole time, you could have had him move somewhere else.

One other minor thing that I noticed was that the room tone of the audio changed a lot. Meaning I could hear light static on the shots of the father, but none on the kid. Recording the room with everyone out of just being quite for about 20 seconds then looping it over the clips fixes this pretty easily.
 
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