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watch VAPID- A Post Apocalyptic Short Film

It's a nice location, but the title/subtitle/intro doesn't really tie into the film. I didn't get a sense of "after the apocalypse" as much as I did a sense of cool condemned houses.

And what was that weird effect towards the end? It didn't realy work, IMO.
 
I think that to do post-apocalyptic films is a challenge because there have been so many made. I think what this short needed was to have some stakes involved - someone armed and waiting for any intruders perhaps.

What you have here at the moment is a man walking through an abandoned building, having a look inside and then leaving.

I also agree that there needs to be more visual information in regards to the character's state ie his clothing and even his face. He seems to be a completely healthy and well adjusted person in a situation that is supposed to be dire. There are no signs that he has experienced any trauma.

What I do like is that the location was really good and there is lots of potential for this short to be expanded a bit more and it isn't a lost cause. So please continue making shorts and don't give up!
 
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thank you phantom..you and chimp phobia are the only people who give real feedback..to be honest i was just scouting this location for a part in a short I'm doing early next year..i was cutting up the footage testing effects and just decided to turn it into a tiny short..if you could check out my latest picture OYSTER..i have been looking for feedback but nothing so far
 
The location has a lot of potential... you should really come up with something good and make use of it. This wasn't really a short film, was it? It felt like someone found a cool destroyed house and took a camera with them to check it out... I was half expecting the guy to start commentating like a vlog. Anyway, best of luck!
 
Not bad, although there's room for improvement. I liked the concept, and it seems like your camera skills are improving. I like the tone you created as well. Not through color grading, but there's an underlying sense of dread that I think you really captured with this one. Much like your second short film. Anyway...

I don't like the title in the beginning. It doesn't fit the tone of the film. Perhaps something more textured or grungy. It looks too clean and nice. The rain isn't the most appealing either. The color grading needs some work as well. It looks a bit over the top, and often times many shots are either too dark or too bright. The Teal and Orange filter isn't in any way subtle, and the overuse of the effect in Youtube videos makes them more obvious, and it's easy to tell what editor you are using. Not that I think FCPX can have great results, but many title sequences and filters are amateurish unless you tone them done and make them more subtle. That grade doesn't fit the film anyway. Perhaps something more desaturated, or maybe just a light color correct. The surroundings look bleak enough. The opening voiceover doesn't work for it. It's both cheap exposition that we didn't need, and the audio is horrible. From the surroundings and music, we already have a sense that we're in a post-apocalypic world. That scene ends abruptly as well. I suggest you cut the title, and the opening sequence. I'd start with 2 seconds of a black screen, and then begin the film around 0:24. The pacing is slow as well. Not that there's anything wrong with slow pacing, but if your film is paced slowly and nothing is going on, there is a problem. There's nothing wrong with slower moving films, but every moment of a film should be development of characters or tone and/or reveal of information that moves the story forward. This stood still, if that makes sense. The auto exposure, as Baoliun mentioned, is a problem as well. The stabilization effect is also obvious in a film shots. Framing was awkward as well.

As far as story goes, nothing happened. It was just wandering around. We don't know what happened, why it happened, and who caused it. Actually, that's not even important. There was know reflection upon life before this event. It just happens. There's no emotion to it either. The character is so robotic, it just... I don't know. The lack of story and emotion is ultimately what really made the film weak, in my opinion.

Just some recommendations:

Learn more about screenwriting
Get feedback on scripts on screenwriting forums or on IndieTalk.
Get actors and people to work in your projects.
Learn more about framing.
Practice color grading and correction.
Start in as late as possible, end as quickly as possible.
Don't have abrupt transitions and fades.

Anyway, I'm going to watch off to watch Oyster.
 
Less of a short film, more of a sequence

The last posts have sorta said what needed to be said:

This is not a short film, so much as it is a scene/sequence of a man exploring an abandoned house.

It kinda feels autobiographical in that you were walking around in real life, saw an abandoned house, and filmed yourself walking through it.

Its a great location though.

STRONGLY agree with the poster who said you need to work with actors. Looks like something shot on the fly, no forethought, planning, or effort.
 
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