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Too much suicide?

L

Lochsley

In my most recent screenplay/plot planning, I have developed it around 3 characters. It follows their individual stories, all ranging from around half an hour. The first and second character are both about to attempt suicide when their story ends, and aftter the third's story their stories intertwine and it's no longer one person's story, it's all of theirs. The second character dies and the first is saved by the third character.

The prologue (that sets the scene of social hierachy and starts the leitmotif and metaphor for the entirety of the movie) also includes a suicide scene. So, three people attempt suicide... 2 succeed... Do you think it's a bit too heavy? It's dragged over a long time, though. But I don't know. I really like the plot, and it's all very vital. :(

What do you guys think? :(

Drae!
 
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Two suicides going all the way does sound a bit heavy. I'd think of maybe canning the least important one...there's other ways to imply hopelessness...you could have the lesser character drinking whiskey from a bottle...or just sitting on the steps of some building staring off into the middle distance...despair clearly captured in his eyes.

I don't know. Something along those lines. It does sound like the first of those two successful suicides are completely unnecessary, but that's just me.
 
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Maybe you could add a little irony to make it not so harsh... like the opening suicide is a lumberjack who kills himself by standing under the tree he chops down... or a fireman who drowns himself by duct-taping the hose to his face... or a horse-jockey who tips a cow over onto his face and suffocates...

well, maybe not THAT ironic, but you get the point.... or you could just keep the non-suicide stuff light.
 
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barnaclelapse said:
. It does sound like the first of those two successful suicides are completely unnecessary, but that's just me.
Click to expand...

Both are necessary for different reasons; the first sets the scene for the hierarchy and shows what the whole movie is really about; how peoples' actions make a horrible and non-revertible impact on people. The second is also needed as it's all about how, no matter where you are in a world, you always have the chance to fall. The only way to stop the pain is to soften your plummet - i.e. social backing etc.

It's a teen drama in many respects but in a less cliché way. It's showing a bad teen life from experience rather than an adult trying to adapt their thoughts to another age group. Everything in the story is grounded in reality and in many ways, my own personal stories. This is why I feel inclined to keep both, as it's not like it's a "oh, as if that happens in real life" as they do. Both of the suicides are very closely matching one which happened within not only my own town but in my own family and the other in my old school.

It's melodramatic in some respects, but it's what I want to project. I want something that has impact, something that makes people think about their frivolous actions and their "meaningless" impacts on their peers. It's marketed for teens from people in their age group.

But even then, with "adult themes" my age group isn't even allowed in a cinema to watch a film like what I've been writing. Oh, it's all so hard. I need some guiding, does anyone know a good contact for screenwriting where I can get my current progress shown to? :(
 
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suicide is all in all a bad idea. No one can relate to it. So yes defenatly too much. However 2 is probably the maximum. That is a rule the Shakespier kind of used thought his plays. 2 suicides were ok if the correlated with each other one is ok if it is for another reason but having 3 suicides will kill the dramaaticness of all the suicides as it will give the effect that it is not a big thing because everyone is doing it.
 
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Spatula said:
Maybe you could add a little irony to make it not so harsh... like the opening suicide is a lumberjack who kills himself by standing under the tree he chops down... or a fireman who drowns himself by duct-taping the hose to his face... or a horse-jockey who tips a cow over onto his face and suffocates...

well, maybe not THAT ironic, but you get the point.... or you could just keep the non-suicide stuff light.
Click to expand...

After that suggestion...

I GOT NOTHIN'.

Kill 'em all.


filmy
 
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I would say as long as you keep it interesting each time then it probably won't be too much. It would probably help if you did one or both as more of an implied suicide instead of showing them. Maybe by showing just after the failed attempt when the person is hospitalized and bandaged up. You could also leave it open to interpritation.
 
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I think to make it less cliche, you should do each suicide very differently.

Right now, most suicides are probably: cutting wrist, gas, jumping off a building.

Instead of having one character cut himself, and another drown himself, you can probably have one that jumps off the building and another that hires someone else to kill him.

The irony can be created by choosing who the second person hires to kill himself. Maybe it could be the third character. and after he kills the second person, he feels guilty then tries to kill himself, unsuccessfully.

the more unpredictable the film is, the better. and it really keeps the audience glued to the screen.
 
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jeremyhung said:
The irony can be created by choosing who the second person hires to kill himself. Maybe it could be the third character. and after he kills the second person, he feels guilty then tries to kill himself, unsuccessfully.
Click to expand...

Ooh, that's pretty good.. just sparked an idea.... what if the three of them had made a pact as kids to kill themselves together but got caught/failed... flash forward 10 years later or something and they all come back to a high school reunion and find out one of the three had killed himself.... that would be a good catalyst for the other two characters to begin their journey- figuring out why he did it, where he's buried, shit like that... then for whatever reason (maybe they are haunted by their friend's ghost, maybe the pact haunts them, maybe they all just went down paths that they had never expected/wanted in life), one of them gets the idea that they both have to die to make things right... so you'd have an antagonist who's still in suicide mode (but won't do it unless/until the other guy is dead too) and the protagonist who decides to bear the whips and scorns of time... so the conflict could eventually rise to the point where the antagonist tries to kill the protagonist!

However it works out, the antagonist could end up killing himself after failing to destroy the protagonist and the sole survivor of the suicide pact learns a life lesson kinda deal.
 
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sam hawkins. suicide is completely relatable. more people contimplate suicide than you think. i went to a high school of less than 500 people and 4 people attempted suicide in the last couple years. and in my first year of college i knew even more. because suicide doesnt effect YOUR life doesnt mean its not a part of other peoples.

and poster, write whatever you want to write about. if 2 suicides is how your story works, then use it. especaially if this is a lo budget indie production, your making the movie for you. if other people like it then great, but ur the one that will be watching it, so its up to you.
 
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I have come to the conclusion that I will go for it. It's my first screenplay + movie (possibly) so I don't see the harm in experimenting with big issues. At least if it doesn't go too well, I don't have a good reputation for it to tarnish anyway.

Thank you all so much for your advice, my mind is in ideas mode!
 
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Sounds like you've already made a decision, but I just wanted to add in that I use suicide in a lot of my story lines and it certainly doesn't sound like there is too much in yours. Especially if they all tie together.
 
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Suicide is completely relatable. Not to those who succeed (or want to) but to those who are effected by it. Two suicides may be a little much. (At least that is my opinion.) You can have a character in despair leading the audience to the pain he is feeling but not kill him off. I think the audience will relate to a tortured soul more then a kid who kills himself. Besides, if the actor can portray the emotion of such a tortured soul then I think you have a good shot at getting your point across to the audience. I am not a screen writer and it is your project. Good luck to you.
 
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Suicide is related to mental health issues, most often depression.

CCD (Chronic Clinical Depression) is still a very misunderstood illness. It is believed to be related to chemical imbalances in the brain. People with CCD often describe it like this - "Imagine how you felt on the worst day you ever had; I wish I could feel that good even one day a month."

This feeling leads to often destructive behavior in an effort to "feel good" or at least repress their depression for a while, things like drug abuse, alcoholism and extreme sexual behaviors. The rationale is that they feel good for a couple of hours, or at least put their problems behind for a while. They are referred to as self-medicating depressives. Even if they do not participate in or have overcome these types of destructive behaviors they are still prone to many other behaviors such as isolating themselves because they are ashamed of their condition or completely suppressing their emotions which of course explode at a later time. Some project dependencies on other people (relationships) or even situations in the effort to "feel good." They are always disappointed making them even more depressed than before.

These feelings of hopelessness and helplessness can also lead them to other extreme behaviors. We've all seen on the news stories of those who decide to take others with them when the decide to kill themselves such as killing family members or others who decide to kill those who they perceive as the cause of all their problems, Columbine being an example of the rage aspect of depressed persons. There is even speculation that depressed persons are targeted and used by others; they fall prey to extremists. They will embrace a radical cause; "Finally I belong!" They become suicide bombers, etc. in an effort to make their deaths "meaningful."

Just some food for thought...
 
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