thoughts on screenplay idea

[newcitypictures]

Ok so I have a new screenplay idea but I would like you guys to give me your thoughts on it. After their mother, the only thing that was keeping them together, dies a family doesn't speak for years until their father dies. The family retuns back home after the fathers death but many supressed issues arise once their all together. That's about as far as I've gotten so far. Any thoughts as to where I should go with the story?

 

[rayw]

That's just a wee convoluted.

-After their mother,
- the only thing that was keeping them together,
- dies
- a family doesn't speak for years until their father dies.
- The family retuns back home after the fathers death
- but many supressed issues arise once their all together.

Okay, I think I got it.
Family dysfunction as entertainment, right?
Cool.
The annals of independent film are replete with this content.
It's gold, baby!


Will you be writing/directing/producing/distributing this yourself?
90+min feature or short?

What are some similar films you feel this should sorta reflect, have inspired it, or have a flavor of?
Although I can't stand this dysfunctional cr@p as entertainment I can regurgitate plenty enough current titles for more inspirational source material.
(2010, https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet...Hh6cHJBMW5aQkZSMzZYR2V3VUxQVUE&hl=en_US#gid=0
2011 https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AsBznn8D13zOdGlCeDRmWTFCYXJRWjJ3SUphZDNzMGc#gid=0
Goto rows 86 - 118 and 106 - 151, respectively.
Anything described as "Textbook indie" or marked with a yellow block in column A was so effing miserable I had to turn it off - THAT'S what you're looking for. )

Obviously it's drama; family drama to be exact.
Will there be droll humor or caustic wit? A tragic portrait of a horrible family? A story of hope and redemption?

How do you want to play this story you're about to, at a minimum, write?



Some resources:
http://www.imsdb.com/latest/
http://www.scribd.com/doc/12721428/Professional-Screenplay-Formatting-Guide
http://download.cnet.com/Celtx/3000-13631_4-10850080.html
http://dictionary.reference.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OonDPGwAyfQ

 

[directorik]

Ok so I have a new screenplay idea but I would like you guys to give me your thoughts on it. After their mother, the only thing that was keeping them together, dies a family doesn't speak for years until their father dies. The family retuns back home after the fathers death but many supressed issues arise once their all together. That's about as far as I've gotten so far. Any thoughts as to where I should go with the story?

Mom dies and the family doesn’t speak to each other for years. No
story there - people not speaking to each other does not make good
drama.

Then dad dies and the family returns home. Now something happens.
But what? You say issues arise. I don’t know what that means. They
talk about their suppressed issues? Is this “The Big Chill”?

Right now you don’t really have an idea for a story - you just barely
have a minor situation and it sounds really dull the way you talk about
it here.

My thoughts are you need a story. If someone were to tell you this story
would you want to see it? Which part do you want to see?

 

[newcitypictures]

That's just a wee convoluted.

-After their mother,
- the only thing that was keeping them together,
- dies
- a family doesn't speak for years until their father dies.
- The family retuns back home after the fathers death
- but many supressed issues arise once their all together.

Okay, I think I got it.
Family dysfunction as entertainment, right?
Cool.
The annals of independent film are replete with this content.
It's gold, baby!


Will you be writing/directing/producing/distributing this yourself?
90+min feature or short?

What are some similar films you feel this should sorta reflect, have inspired it, or have a flavor of?
Although I can't stand this dysfunctional cr@p as entertainment I can regurgitate plenty enough current titles for more inspirational source material.
(2010, https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet...Hh6cHJBMW5aQkZSMzZYR2V3VUxQVUE&hl=en_US#gid=0
2011 https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AsBznn8D13zOdGlCeDRmWTFCYXJRWjJ3SUphZDNzMGc#gid=0
Goto rows 86 - 118 and 106 - 151, respectively.
Anything described as "Textbook indie" or marked with a yellow block in column A was so effing miserable I had to turn it off - THAT'S what you're looking for. )

Obviously it's drama; family drama to be exact.
Will there be droll humor or caustic wit? A tragic portrait of a horrible family? A story of hope and redemption?

How do you want to play this story you're about to, at a minimum, write?



Some resources:
http://www.imsdb.com/latest/
http://www.scribd.com/doc/12721428/Professional-Screenplay-Formatting-Guide
http://download.cnet.com/Celtx/3000-13631_4-10850080.html
http://dictionary.reference.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OonDPGwAyfQ

First thank you for replying, Well I'm not sure if I want to make it myself. I don't really have any money right now. I just want to get the idea out of my head. It'll probably be about 90 pages or more. One movie that inspired the idea was Up in the Air. I related to Ryan's family background with him not really being close with his sisters. I thought about my own family background and I just mixed the two together. I've only been messing around with the idea in my head for a few days now so I've only gotten as far as they come back home.

 

[newcitypictures]

Mom dies and the family doesn’t speak to each other for years. No
story there - people not speaking to each other does not make good
drama.

Then dad dies and the family returns home. Now something happens.
But what? You say issues arise. I don’t know what that means. They
talk about their suppressed issues? Is this “The Big Chill”?

Right now you don’t really have an idea for a story - you just barely
have a minor situation and it sounds really dull the way you talk about
it here.

My thoughts are you need a story. If someone were to tell you this story
would you want to see it? Which part do you want to see?

Yeah, I know I don't really have a story yet. I just thought about it a few days ago so I really haven't thought that deep into the story yet. Any suggestions on what I can do to make it more interesting?

 

[directorik]

Any suggestions on what I can do to make it more interesting?

Yes. Come up with a story you want to tell.

Not to be mean, but it should be YOU who decides what story YOU
find interesting. Not what I find interesting - or anyone for that matter.
You say you just want to get the idea out of your head. I’m not sure
that asking others what they like, what THEY see as interesting will
help you with YOUR idea.

Sounds like you want to tell a story about your own family background.
Do that. If that’s interesting to you as a writer you need to make it
interesting to others. Maybe when you think that deep into the story
you’ll find something that interests you.

Try this:

Rather than starting with a situation that has no story - Dad dies, family
doesn't speak to each other - start with a character and tell that persons
story. How does that person deal with the death of a father and a family
that won't speak to each other.

 

[rayw]

1. Well I'm not sure if I want to make it myself. I don't really have any money right now. I just want to get the idea out of my head.
2. It'll probably be about 90 pages or more.
3. One movie that inspired the idea was Up in the Air. I related to Ryan's family background with him not really being close with his sisters. I thought about my own family background and I just mixed the two together.
4. I've only been messing around with the idea in my head for a few days now so I've only gotten as far as they come back home.

1. Sounds like you'll be writing a "spec script."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spec_script
These are about the toughest things to unload.
Check out the stats here: Post #9, "Lettuce move onto spec screenplays..." http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=37696

2. Great. That's a feature length script.
Expect to dump a few hundred hours into writing and rewriting and re-rewriting it about a dozen times.
But be forewarned: Most directors... are directing something they wrote themselves.
Nearly 3/4 of all indie films, which this proposed dysfunctional family story certainly is, are writer/director films.
Roughly only 1/4 of directors (that make it Sundance at least; Lord knows what the stats are on those 4,000+ films that didn't make it) are looking to direct someone else's material.
Cell AD63: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet...Hh6cHJBMW5aQkZSMzZYR2V3VUxQVUE&hl=en_US#gid=0
Cell Y75: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AsBznn8D13zOdGlCeDRmWTFCYXJRWjJ3SUphZDNzMGc#gid=0

3. Up in the Air is a nice film.
Note that it's also a partial writer/director film.

Would you be shooting for that sort of tone, as well? A lot of seriousness with some dry humor? Old bull + new fish? Learning never ends because the world keeps changing moral of the story stuff?

4. There's a hundred different ways for writers to write.
Some start at the beginning and discover the way "there" as they write.
Some start at the end and work their way back.
I plan ahead where I want the story to go, A-B-C-D, often beginning in the middle then logically figuring out how we got here and where it logically should go, then go back and fill in the gaps with details.

You gotta figure out what works for you.

How do you plan your vacations?
Plot 'em out day+event, or just go and make it up as you go along?
Do you "know" that you want to see some things and ensure that they happen but give yourself a lotta leeway for other events?
Or do you prioritize and optimize your schedule to hit every each and every one you're interested in experiencing?
Or are you pretty content with just wandering around and whatever adventure seems to happen happens?

Approach your screenplay similarly.

Yeah, I know I don't really have a story yet. I just thought about it a few days ago so I really haven't thought that deep into the story yet. Any suggestions on what I can do to make it more interesting?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conflict_(narrative)#Three_Basic_Conflicts
Often, in these self-naveling introspective sort of films, there is an external conflict that upon its resolution provides the answer for an internal conflict.
The story's protagonist often has two different goals that he/she is not cognizant that they are in conflict with one another.
Typically the selfish goal is given up to claim the selfless goal at the story's end.
This creates character growth or story arc.

 

[newcitypictures]

Yes. Come up with a story you want to tell.

Not to be mean, but it should be YOU who decides what story YOU
find interesting. Not what I find interesting - or anyone for that matter.
You say you just want to get the idea out of your head. I’m not sure
that asking others what they like, what THEY see as interesting will
help you with YOUR idea.

Sounds like you want to tell a story about your own family background.
Do that. If that’s interesting to you as a writer you need to make it
interesting to others. Maybe when you think that deep into the story
you’ll find something that interests you.

Try this:

Rather than starting with a situation that has no story - Dad dies, family
doesn't speak to each other - start with a character and tell that persons
story. How does that person deal with the death of a father and a family
that won't speak to each other.

ok I'll try doing that then. Instead of focusing on the whole family focus on one character. Thanks alot for your help, really.

 

[newcitypictures]

1. Sounds like you'll be writing a "spec script."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spec_script
These are about the toughest things to unload.
Check out the stats here: Post #9, "Lettuce move onto spec screenplays..." http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=37696

2. Great. That's a feature length script.
Expect to dump a few hundred hours into writing and rewriting and re-rewriting it about a dozen times.
But be forewarned: Most directors... are directing something they wrote themselves.
Nearly 3/4 of all indie films, which this proposed dysfunctional family story certainly is, are writer/director films.
Roughly only 1/4 of directors (that make it Sundance at least; Lord knows what the stats are on those 4,000+ films that didn't make it) are looking to direct someone else's material.
Cell AD63: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet...Hh6cHJBMW5aQkZSMzZYR2V3VUxQVUE&hl=en_US#gid=0
Cell Y75: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AsBznn8D13zOdGlCeDRmWTFCYXJRWjJ3SUphZDNzMGc#gid=0

3. Up in the Air is a nice film.
Note that it's also a partial writer/director film.

Would you be shooting for that sort of tone, as well? A lot of seriousness with some dry humor? Old bull + new fish? Learning never ends because the world keeps changing moral of the story stuff?

4. There's a hundred different ways for writers to write.
Some start at the beginning and discover the way "there" as they write.
Some start at the end and work their way back.
I plan ahead where I want the story to go, A-B-C-D, often beginning in the middle then logically figuring out how we got here and where it logically should go, then go back and fill in the gaps with details.

You gotta figure out what works for you.

How do you plan your vacations?
Plot 'em out day+event, or just go and make it up as you go along?
Do you "know" that you want to see some things and ensure that they happen but give yourself a lotta leeway for other events?
Or do you prioritize and optimize your schedule to hit every each and every one you're interested in experiencing?
Or are you pretty content with just wandering around and whatever adventure seems to happen happens?

Approach your screenplay similarly.




http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conflict_(narrative)#Three_Basic_Conflicts
Often, in these self-naveling introspective sort of films, there is an external conflict that upon its resolution provides the answer for an internal conflict.
The story's protagonist often has two different goals that he/she is not cognizant that they are in conflict with one another.
Typically the selfish goal is given up to claim the selfless goal at the story's end.
This creates character growth or story arc.

Intersting, I never thought about planing out a screenplay like I would a vacation. I also plan on writing it in the same tone as Up in the Air. Thank you you were a big help. Hopefully when I'm done writing it I'll let people read it on here. Really thank you.

 

[FantasySciFi]

Most of my writing focuses around family and generational issues and exploring them from different perspectives. I think your idea has great potential for drama. To make it work well, you will need to develop some of the issues to be resolved after the father's death first. So a rough 'skeleton' for your story idea might appear:

1.  Introduce siblings and cousins
2.  Introduce the mother and extended family
3.  Show how mom keeps things together (grandfather's death)
4.  Create more problems (gang, school, teen pregnancy)
5.  Kill the mom.
6.  One kid (hero) tries to become 'mom' but family disintegrates
7.  Some time later, the hero is called and told father is dying.
8.  Hero confronts father and calls the other family members.
9.  Father dies but leaves something for hero to distribute.
10.  Hero gathers family with all the awkward issues and each other
11.  Seeming resolution until one loses it.
12.  ** you're ending ** (happy or sad or whatever)

My suggestion is that you write a treatment for your story. This is basically a scene-by-scene description without the dialogue. It helps to develop the visual story what the audience sees and should be feeling. Then go back and format it as a screenplay and add in the dialogue.

Put in some humor to offset the anger. Another movie is "Parenthood" (1989) with Steve Martin. It has a nice balance. It also interweaves the lives of different family members. Even in dysfunctional families there are happy moments, though they are often ruined. Good luck as you start writing.