Hello,
I have pretty much finished 80% of my script. I am currently writing the last 20% and rewriting it but I am taking a break for the next couple of days due to slugging this out the past month. Anyway the last 20% of the script is around 30 pages, whilst the 80% is 152 pages at the moment. I know you will say that seems too much and I agree. It was at at one stage 187 pages but I have been as brutal as I can be to condense the script further. I do believe however that this story does seem larger than normal and 150or just below pages may seem right. To reach that I may need the 80% to be condensed further.
I believe anyone who reads my script is able to have me on this as it is nice to have somebody from the outside to read it and give me their thoughts. I am trying to get a couple of people so that I can look at the constructive feedback and see any common issues I may have. At the moment two people are reading the script but a couple more will be very helpful.
If I can get the whole script condensed to 150 pages, then I can submit it to a screenwriting contest.
The link to the script is below on my google drive (send me a share request if you need to):
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B32svqt43-9ndU1kaHIwYkZxSVk/edit?usp=sharing
I have used Mac word to write my script (formatted it to match screenplay requirements) so I hope it comes out okay when you read it on your computer.
Just so you know what the story is about, here is the log line:
A traditional animation feature length focusing on the survival, consequences and hardships two young siblings must
endure after the death of their parents during a devastating tsunami.
I have drawings of the original characters (I didn't draw them, an friend of mine who is an illustrator has), if you want to use it to help imagine the characters, then here you go. Again if you need a share request then tell me.
There are some who you won't recognised as they don't appear till later. The one with Haruto and Miyu is Chiyo, their mother and Miyu and Keiko drawings are 4 years older versions of themselves which again is later in the story.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B32svqt43-9nMHJ2Wkt1OXBVczg/edit?usp=sharing
Thanks and I appreciate any help you can provide.
I have pretty much finished 80% of my script. I am currently writing the last 20% and rewriting it but I am taking a break for the next couple of days due to slugging this out the past month. Anyway the last 20% of the script is around 30 pages, whilst the 80% is 152 pages at the moment. I know you will say that seems too much and I agree. It was at at one stage 187 pages but I have been as brutal as I can be to condense the script further. I do believe however that this story does seem larger than normal and 150or just below pages may seem right. To reach that I may need the 80% to be condensed further.
I believe anyone who reads my script is able to have me on this as it is nice to have somebody from the outside to read it and give me their thoughts. I am trying to get a couple of people so that I can look at the constructive feedback and see any common issues I may have. At the moment two people are reading the script but a couple more will be very helpful.
If I can get the whole script condensed to 150 pages, then I can submit it to a screenwriting contest.
The link to the script is below on my google drive (send me a share request if you need to):
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B32svqt43-9ndU1kaHIwYkZxSVk/edit?usp=sharing
I have used Mac word to write my script (formatted it to match screenplay requirements) so I hope it comes out okay when you read it on your computer.
Just so you know what the story is about, here is the log line:
A traditional animation feature length focusing on the survival, consequences and hardships two young siblings must
endure after the death of their parents during a devastating tsunami.
I have drawings of the original characters (I didn't draw them, an friend of mine who is an illustrator has), if you want to use it to help imagine the characters, then here you go. Again if you need a share request then tell me.
There are some who you won't recognised as they don't appear till later. The one with Haruto and Miyu is Chiyo, their mother and Miyu and Keiko drawings are 4 years older versions of themselves which again is later in the story.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B32svqt43-9nMHJ2Wkt1OXBVczg/edit?usp=sharing
Thanks and I appreciate any help you can provide.
Last edited:
Like I said before the people here who gave me comments and feedback had improved my first attempt and now with your feedback I should hopefully be able to improve it more. I will keep doing my best to make it tighter and tighter and hopefully I will get it. Back for me to go back on the Word doc lol