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watch The Dawn Patrol - surfing (short movie)

Q

qdietz

Hello,
I made a little narrative short movie and was wondering what you think of it.
I wanted to let you know a little about my experience with movie making prior to you watching this. I am by no means very experienced. I have only made a few short movies (3). Please keep in mind that this movie was made in about a week. Commentary and suggestions are very appreciated.
My movie can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VggHpWJTWYI

edit: seems like the youtube tag isn't working too well, I just put a direct link
 
Sorry, it didn't do much for me.

The VO was a little difficult to understand at times, and, (I guess it was) you sounded really bored, not excited or entranced. The VO may have been a little better if that delivery had been made by being really close to a large diaphragm mic; it might have made it more like listening to someones thoughts. The VO could also have had a few more peaks and valleys, or at least a few larger spaces to appreciate the visuals.

The music was a little bland for my taste.

I would have had more of the "prep"; putting on the wet suit, waxing the board, pulling the board off the bike, etc. You could have spaced the VO and the visuals better - talk about it, watch it or watch it, talk about it.

Just my two ducats...
 
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