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watch Strictly Business

RedheadRedemption

RedheadRedemption

This is a short feature film I directed and co-wrote. It is a story of a two friends, a Chinese Resturaunt, a samurai sword, betrayal, and a very interesting hit man.

STRICTLY BUSINESS Pt 1

AND Part 2

If you are not a fan of classical music.

Here is a version my "producer" (lol) and I made after we finished the film using music by the Diablo Swing Orchestra. It gives the entire film a much higher energy, especially the ending. It's my favorite version.

STRICTLY BUSINESS (Diablo)

And finally, after making the Diablo version, we were listening to Deadmau5 and realized his song Strobe was almost just as long as the film. Without editing the video at all, we laid the song on the audio track...and it synchronized surprisingly well. That version is here. It gives the film a completely different energy, but not in a bad way.

PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK but keep in mind this was my first feature film. Our budget was zero, our actors had little to no experience, and we had to film and edit the whole thing in a month. So be honest, but gentle.
 
Okay, here we go.:) I'm not a tech guy or cinematographer(ms?) but you guys could really use a tripod. If nothing else go to wal-mart and buy a cheapy. We can see that you're filming with a "home camera" and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However some people will be distracted by it. To help with their distraction, you should really read up on framing and laying out shots. You could give Spielberg aregular ole camera and I bet you would still get a pretty good flick. Your transitions are poorly timed. There are a couple places where you cut off dialogue. Editing is very important. You would be amazed at how much difference a half second can make, much less cutting out dialogue.:)
As far as the story goes, I get what you were going for. But I would like to say, I think you bit off a bit too much for a first outing. Step back and take a couple baby steps first.
I know this isn't very in depth, but there are a lot of things to address in this short. So start studying and you should be able to see some of the problems yourself. And keep on trucking. No one is great over night.
 
Murdock said:
Okay, here we go.:) I'm not a tech guy or cinematographer(ms?) but you guys could really use a tripod. If nothing else go to wal-mart and buy a cheapy. We can see that you're filming with a "home camera" and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However some people will be distracted by it. To help with their distraction, you should really read up on framing and laying out shots. You could give Spielberg aregular ole camera and I bet you would still get a pretty good flick. Your transitions are poorly timed. There are a couple places where you cut off dialogue. Editing is very important. You would be amazed at how much difference a half second can make, much less cutting out dialogue.:)
As far as the story goes, I get what you were going for. But I would like to say, I think you bit off a bit too much for a first outing. Step back and take a couple baby steps first.
I know this isn't very in depth, but there are a lot of things to address in this short. So start studying and you should be able to see some of the problems yourself. And keep on trucking. No one is great over night.
Click to expand...

Our tripods were broken when we had to film this, so we had to tough it out. Some of the dialogue was deliberately cut out because, frankly, it was bad lol. We would rather have a choppy edit than overdone dialogue. Could you elaborate on what you mean with the story? I really apprecaite your feedback. I'm surprised you didn't comment on our overuse of effects lol
 
RedheadRedemption said:
Our tripods were broken when we had to film this, so we had to tough it out. Some of the dialogue was deliberately cut out because, frankly, it was bad lol. We would rather have a choppy edit than overdone dialogue. Could you elaborate on what you mean with the story? I really apprecaite your feedback. I'm surprised you didn't comment on our overuse of effects lol
Click to expand...

The effetcs were in there with the transitions. Yea I would get rid of em.:) Just a good ole fade in/out goes a long way.

About the story. Almost the whole thing was jump cuts. I guess it was really choppy and didn't flow well. We can guess at a lot of it. These guys are buds, they open a rest. and the one friend has deallings with shady characters. But we really know nothing about your characters. Why would we like the one and not like the other?
 
Just one other thing. There is a lot of "front and center" framing. This means your subject is always in the center of the frame. That just looks boring. Here watch this for an exampleof good framing.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW-jSa9_k3M
 
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Yeah, I can see what you're saying there. BUT understand that we were attempting style over substance in a short film. Not to be prolific or cool, just to be different. The whole thing was a learning experience for sure. Now, if I had the chance/means/time to make a real feature film, I wouldn't have removed parts of the film that we didn't have time to film. For instance, the scene after the intro was meant to be set at Christmas, showcasing the protagonist's love for his family. Additionally, we had to remove a gambling scene that explained the debts of the antagonist and furthered the character of the Loan Shark.

Possibly the most disappointingly left out scene was the fight scene we had done between the Carpenter and the protagonist. Rather than choreograph, we took still shots and were going to do something really artistic, but my friend's hard drive crashed and we lost all the pictures.

I completely agree with you on the framing, we should have rule of thirds'd the fuck out of it. And the effects were really just to give the film a different look more than anything, I get so tired of that boring home-video stagnant color scheme.

Regardless, you're completely right. I feel it would have been much better had we more time/means, but we did what we could and had fun doing it haha.

Question, did you enjoy the Carpenter?
 
Thats what counts, you had fun. And I'm really not trying to be down on you guys. Just pointing out what I see.

Yea I enjoyed the carpenter. I think its a cool character that has some room to grow.
 
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