archived-videos Stolen Property - Short Comedy

T

tommygdawg

Hey everyone

This is a short that I filmed a couple months back and am just now able to release. I'd LOVE to get some good honest feedback and criticism on it. Let me know what ya'll think, this is how we get better

"Jimmy, a brash student, has had his property stolen. His father must make a difficult call to the school in an attempt to arrange an investigation into the stolen property."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z-DorMM17Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z-DorMM17Y

Thanks!
- Tommy
 
Upvote 0
I liked it. A lot. Very simple. One location. Simple funny story!

Camera was a bit too shakey, for my taste, but it was not a problem.
I wish there was a bit more tension happening in the middle, like the father maybe would get more pushy, then maybe try to calmly reason with them, and get super angry as well, so the audience would feel "holy sh*t.. he really needs to get that thing"... but that's just me.

Overral, very enjoyable short, good lighting, clear audio.. looking forward to see more!
 
Thanks so much dlevanchuk! I agree about the shakey cam, for some reason *I* was actually quite shakey that day. I was sitting on the kitchen counter in a very uncomfortable position and I felt like death! But I think it's not too bad, all things considered.

Thanks for the detailed response and for taking the time to watch it!
 
At the end the audio gets too loud, but thats a little fix.
Jimmy was very unexpected, I liked that a lot.
Was the whole thing done w/o any cuts? I'd have to watch a second time, but that's a really cool idea, but it would make it better if you had him moving throughout the house a bit more, then that would be really apparent an awesome
 
Murdock, I like Jimmy as well! He's quite the child :P Sam, I agree about the moving throughout the house, it would have helped make things a bit more interesting. In retrospect I see that. I agree that the end is a bit loud as well. Thanks for the comments and criticisms and watching! :)
 
Well, it looks very nice.

But this is a one-joke sketch. And it takes WAAAY too long to get to that joke. Watching someone talk on the phone ain't that interesting, no matter how good the footage looks. If you can't make that telephone dialogue hilarious and/or really tense, then you've got nothing.
 
Cracker Funk said:
Well, it looks very nice.

But this is a one-joke sketch. And it takes WAAAY too long to get to that joke. Watching someone talk on the phone ain't that interesting, no matter how good the footage looks. If you can't make that telephone dialogue hilarious and/or really tense, then you've got nothing.
Click to expand...

I agree it's too slow. Thanks for the c&c and watching :)
 
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