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watch Spirals of Depression - a painful film to make (comedy)

R

RJBrooker

http://vimeo.com/18301939

The start of a series of videos. It was painful in the literal sense of the word. The stunt was less of a stunt, more of a mistake. My shoulder still hurts because of it. So please watch. Thanks
(Please watch my other work if you haven't seen any. As they were painful to make in the figurative sense)


Filmed on a Canon HD camera, edited in final cut pro.
 
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a short film??? a short dark comedy???


i m sorry but where's the story u've tried to tell?? and where's the comedy??
 
Someone tries to kill themselves they aren't very good at it. Pretty simple story - pay attention mahdy.
 
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RJBrooker said:
Someone tries to kill themselves they aren't very good at it. Pretty simple story - pay attention mahdy.
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Actually, I'd have to agree with mahdy. Dude makes one lame-ass attempt at suicide, and then the movie's over? You could've packed a whole lot more story into a minute-and-a-half. And, I'm sorry to say, the joke kinda falls flat.

Filmmaking-wise, I strongly recommend you purchase a tripod.
 
"Dude makes one lame-ass attempt at suicide, and then the movie's over"
yes exactly!!

Thanks for watching it (I'm being serious by the way).
 
The question I'm curious about is where does the series go from here? Is each episode going to be another failed attempt at suicide? Or is the story going to develop from this point?

Speaking on a personal level, I didn't really get what you were trying to do. It seems as though it's the stunts you're more interested in than the story, which is fine. I would just be cautious about progressing this series in that same sort of way because it might get a little repetitive, painful (literally) and is in slightly bad taste.
 
Good point. No it will not be a series of failed suicides. As you have already said, that would be repetitive, and you can only really get away with bad taste once. This episode was to set the character up (and was mostly an in-joke). I would describe the character as a depressed Mr Bean.

In all my work i have a element of self destruction. If its in terms of the time it consumes, the isolation it entails or in this case a physical bodily self-harm.
So please check out my other stuff:
http://vimeo.com/user3696983
(though I'm not really sure if that really was the best way to try and sell it)
 
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RJBrooker said:
Someone tries to kill themselves they aren't very good at it. Pretty simple story - pay attention mahdy.
Click to expand...


aryte..i've paid more attention and watched twice..well, what I got:

- no story at all (did u forget the old rule?? show, don't tell..if u have to tell every watcher personally what the story is, your film has actually no story)
- first scene: more headroom, poor lighting, didn't maintain rule of third so there's no emotion at all
-2nd scene: right upper corner too bright, can't see the lead character's face, can't feel his thoughts,and ofcourse shaky scene..
- there was no paper by his head at (0.32) but his mate found a paper by fallen guy's head at (0.45) (u need to serious about continuity)
-BTW, what was that paper about?? no idea..( i think u have to tell the viewers personally that it was a suicide note)
- (0.58): I can see that paper by the lead character's head again (missing continuity again)
- why are lead character's mate (or whoever) in this short film?? I mean what's he doing in here?
- no comedy in the whole film at all



if u need any suggestion: listen to others, respect others views, accept the criticisms..
if u don't need any suggestion: I am sorry mate..just ignore my post..
 
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I watched your other videos. In Utero is (if not brilliantly executed) an interesting idea. Procrastination (which, if I remember rightly, raised some ire here over whether you had 'cheated' on the stop motion or not) is both clever and well made...

...which makes it even more uncomprehensible why Spirals of Depression is such a step in the wrong direction. Clearly there are little technical things that you can work with in terms of steadying up the camera (the handheld really breaks the fourth wall and in a scene reliant on the feeling of isolation that's a misjudgement) but, to be honest, I would recommend going back to the drawing board with this idea.

You say you have a story line ready to progress in the next episodes? That's good. Now take a look at that storyline and make sure that you give us something else about the circumstances/characters in the film. Two chords on the guitar is rarely enough to push someone over the edge. You need to give the audience more film and less credits.

I would also recommend rethinking the stunt. I'm impressed with your commitment level but I don't think that anyone watching that would honestly think that the character had knocked themselves out. And because of that it becomes quite distracting. Do you need to show the fall? Could it be more slapstick? Is it supposed to be funny?
 
NickClapper, thank you for watching In Utero ( http://vimeo.com/11313931 ) and Procrast ( http://vimeo.com/15443339 ) and. Yes this does not follow on from those films - it was a lot more fun to make. Im making a film that does follow on from my last two. I hope you will still be willing to watch it.

Shak-y camera breaking the isolation, my-be a very astute observation (that rhymes). I think my friend had a couple of drinks before filming. He will be sober next time (or maybe not). But you are right, i should sort things like those out if i am to make this a more serious project. I think there was only one chord actually.

No more dark than slap stick. Im thinking a bit Lars Von Trier's. I have always founds something strangely alluring about those late night dry dark comedies, where you never actually laugh but you never stop watching. I think theirs and this downfall was calling it comedy maybe, (though i do find it funny in parts). I have a few good ideas for this series so please keep watching. I might try make the next one more to your tastes (or i might make it painfully unwatchable, I'm undecided). But sorry I think the credit to film ratio has to stay...

RE mahdy: lol
 
I liked the idea. Generally, I enjoy the darkly comic. There were a few jokes in here that were a little bit easy. The guitar playing was my favourite feature.

If the production value was a little bit higher, and the action rewritten until something unexpected is created, you'll have something good
 
Thanks for all the feedback: production values, less predictable and maybe more character development. Thanks for the watching.
 
I really wouldn't call this a movie...but a skit.

I thought the camera work was shaky, the composition wasn't there, there wasn't any lighting, and the sound was on-board. Other than that, keep on keepin' on!
 
M1chae1 said:
I really wouldn't call this a movie
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Neither did he ;)

As one in a series it is hard to judge on its own. Looks like you could have something going here. It would not be hard to reshoot this one though and up the production a bit, and tell the actor with the glasses to not look at the camera (once in foyer, once through stairs). ;)
 
Right, he said 'a series of videos.' My bad. I should have said, I don't see a point to it, unless it's a random set of skits...where is this headed?

RJ...also, I hiiiiighly recommend you don't do that kind of stunt again. One false move or freak accident and you're in a wheel chair. Leave that up to the stunt men who wear armadillo spine protectors and elbo and knee pads...it's just not worth it.

With that aside...I will say you've got balls kid. :)
 
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