Thanks for the analysis.
Obviously, I need to learn a little about formatting before I can start throwing capitalizations around like I do here. Thanks, it's always good to know when someone sees amateurism in your work... I was also actually completely unaware that you'd HAVE to use a brand new logline in order to get the car moving again. My thought was just that the setting hasn't changed whatsoever, and editorially, I'm envisioning a completely abrupt cut between the two scenes, skipping details of the hijacking altogether, so I thought a simple CUT TO: would suffice. But I guess not.
And actually, I'm not sure what to do about the initial jumpiness of the story, as it was 100% intentional. My point is to create a puzzle for the viewer to put together, in which they are never completely aware of what Cane is doing until after he has already done it. I don't WANT the viewer to understand where he's coming from at any point in the movie, until perhaps the last scene. I realize that this may be counterintuitive to the whole idea of character development, but that's what I opted to write it as a shorter project rather than a fully fleshed-out one (or a novel), because it's not very enjoyable for a viewer to be put in that clueless position for a long period of time.
Also, you are absolutely right about the Golden pistol. It was one of the things that, initially, I was going to explain/work into the script a bit more, but it sort of remained in the beginning after I'd already realized that it was a bit too complicated to massage in to the ending. One other thing that I abandoned that I'd still like to re-incorporate would be the God/purpose bits that you can still see as artifacts in the first half of the script from time to time.
Regardless, thanks for the criticisms. I'll work on the general clarity of the script, and the formatting issues where applicable, and also try to give the dialog a less cliche feeling in it's preachier areas.
Any other tidbits?