watch Something isn't RIGHT about my New Music Video

[aznricey]

This is supposed to be one of my BIGGEST project ever. But I feel that this thing is missing something... and at times awkward... If you guys can point out what im missing and what needs to change i'd really appreciate it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l_7rlJQKb8
This is my first time making a music video. I did everything (edit, filming, acting, playing, recording).

Im hoping through this I can excite people around me and recruit them into something bigger! This is very important to me, so please give in your sincere thoughts Thanks

 

[rayw]

Hi
Well... I'm only fluent in American English, so... anything song/story related I'm not any good for.
Looks and sounds like young-love pining away to some modicum of success.
??

That said, I can tell you put a lot of time and effort into this.

You've got lots of shots in different places and from different angles. Great.
They still linger on, even to a middle aged man without ADD.
Don't go freaky nanosecond editing, but... you're gonna need more material.
Break it up.

Next, before anyone gives you any garbage over the softened, desaturated look going on here, I've seen it before and it looks just fine. So, I'll defend your artistic prerogative there.

That zooming in and out stuff looks pretty late 60's early 70's 8mm too me.
I don't think it looks good. But you'd probably be best to get a few more opinions on that.

I love videos with a story to them and despise random sh!t videos. But I think you stuck too close to a story with this one. The story seems constricting. Loosen up the ratio of story to "other stuff".

Since this is a vary ballad-y song, I'd pour over a dozen other ballad videos and rip-off every idea I could.

GL!


Ray

 

[aznricey]

I actually planned to make a bunch of "playing clips" of me and the bassist singing and playing instruments but that's extremly difficult to film yourself without a proper person in mind. Anyway here is the story line:

it goes...

Two young couples argue constantly because they are stubborn with their own ways. The singer is obviously deeply hurt and misses the girl very much, she'd wait for her call. But once the phone call comes, he does not know what to say rather than "hello?" . In the end, they sticked to their "separate ways"...

That's actually the story line in my head. Some of the shots ended horribly so I sticked with my "alternative ending" which is although they went with their separate ways they are still in this relationship ... Nice and simple

Here are some lyrical translation that I couldn't seem to fit into the story:
it goes...

"You claim that I have hurt you, though you flaunt your superiority to others"
"Perhaps only a hug/ a close touch could remedy this regret/damage. Unfortunately, it cannot be reached"

I actually meant to make that "zoom in and out " shot as a really cool way to transition from the boy's room to the big field... but that didn't end up so well... Perhaps there is a way to remedy this?

When you said "linger on" I think you meant each frame and the story line itself is too slow paste right? and by "new materials" i'm guessing you mean something new to the story line/film right? (ie: "other stuff") I find it quite challenging to put in other filler clips in there since this story happens in a short period of time... and that it seems quite restricting as to what I should put in...

I really appreciate your help! Any suggestions and advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks so much!


So some"new material " ideas i had in mind earlier and didn't shoot:
1: Vocal singing. Lip dub and other playing
2: Somehow find a way to illustrate how they are different with their "ways"? Let it be ideology, life style and on and on...
3: Show how they will still continue to struggle with their relationship even though they have made the effort to make up... This one is hard because the lyric sequence doesn't support this very well. I'll likely trash it...

 

[rayw]

I actually meant to make that "zoom in and out " shot as a really cool way to transition from the boy's room to the big field... but that didn't end up so well... Perhaps there is a way to remedy this?

Don't use your camera's zoom.
Mount your camera to your tripod, run the "neck" up enough to hold it, screw/clamp it, then collapse & contract all the legs.
Ta-da! Instant freeee steadicam. (Not a perfect steadicam. Only a freeeee one!)
Move in physically rather than zoom in.
If your camera has manual focus or locking focus snap it in at about a yard/meter then dolly in from focus range to out of focus range. Really run that fat bastard into about five inches out before...
Using that as a transition point to the next shot in the field where you're performing the same action in reverse - physically, rather than with the zoom - dolly out.

When you said "linger on" I think you meant each frame and the story line itself is too slow paste right? and by "new materials" i'm guessing you mean something new to the story line/film right? (ie: "other stuff") I find it quite challenging to put in other filler clips in there since this story happens in a short period of time... and that it seems quite restricting as to what I should put in...

Yes. ("pace", BTW)
No. Not "more story". More of you playing, bassist playing, you guys just staring out the window, sitting outside, picking at something and throwing chips of it in the water, whatever. Something. Nothing. Just dumb stuff that people do while they're figuring out the stuff of life.
Maybe I'm picking up on too much anxiety in the video as is.
Too much anxious "OMG! Should I call?!" "OMG! He called!" "OMG! She answered!" "I don't know what to say!" "I don't know what to say, either!" "Oh, sh!t! Say something!" "Say something!" etc...
Maybe.

So again recapping what "new materials " I have in mind earlier:
1: Vocal singing. Lip dub and other playing
2: Somehow find a way to illustrate how they are different with their "ways"? Let it be ideology, life style and on and on...
3: Show how they will still continue to struggle with their relationship even though they have made the effort to make up... This one is hard because the lyric sequence doesn't support this very well. I'll likely trash it...

1: Yeah, that's fine. Some of the dubbing is a frame off, BTW. It ain't easy to sync I hear. LOL!
2: I'd go the other direction. Less story (not making it "better"!) + more fluff.
3: Nope. Don't do it. You're making a movie at this point and not a music video. Traditionally music videos just "suggest a story".

As an exercise, pick three well made music videos and note the story-to-ftuff ratio.
It's low.

 

[Murdock]

For one, the music need to be much more refined before they/you even think about making a video. This sounds like they just learned the song.

The color seems very muted.

As for the film itself. I don't see any sort of story.

 

[Alcove Audio]

Just so you know that I have some idea of what I'm talking about...

I started piano lessons at the age of five. I had several very well known teachers. During high school, in addition to being accompanist for the chorus, playing harpsichord in two Baroque ensembles and the Baroque Orchestra and singing in a barbershop quartet, I had my own band and I was the organist/choirmaster of a church from age 16 through 19. At the same time I played piano and was audio tech for a dance school three afternoons a week and Saturday mornings. I worked my way up through the rock'n'roll ranks until I was musical director for a well known oldies group, playing such venues as Carnegie Hall and the Apollo Theatre. After I retired from performing I was chief engineer at a recording studio for five years before opening my own facility doing primarily audio post, but still do the occasional band and singer/songwriter. I've worked with lots of name performers and producers.

The mix is terrible, all I hear is bass and vocals. The rest of the instruments are lost except for the lead guitar sound. The singing and guitar playing are weak. You need so tighten up the instrumental performances and work extremely hard on the vocal performance.

As far as the video - you need to differentiate between when the "band" is playing and when you are telling the "story"; they each need a different look. I did this on the cheap once. We bought a black sheet and hung it up on one wall. We used one light and created deep shadows. All you saw of the "band performance" was hands on instruments and mouths in front of microphones. The rest was the members of the band doing various weird things in a variety of places. We used a boom box to play the track and a $200 camcorder on a cheap tripod.