archived-videos 'Social Neglect' Crit please?

[Westunn]

Hey guys, this is my first short film (with actors) called Social Neglect. I hope you guys enjoy and make sure to reply with what you think and what I could've done differently, Thanks.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/m3v3J6hUEEw

 

[indietalk]

 

[Filman]

Yup, when you get to the confrontation the tempo is awesome. Differently? Cut the first two shots out.

 

[buscando]

Are you trying to show that Guy 1 thinks of going to help Guy 2 but decides not to?
What if you add:
-A very wide shot of the guy going to sit down at the bench.
-A wide shot that shows him sitting in the foreground & the 2nd guy lying in the distance.
As much as I like very short shorts (especially in summer), adding these can help show where they are in the location & make it a bit easier to understand. Right now it's almost like Guy 2 is just in Guy 1's head. Unless that's what it really is?