Ok cool. I am going to help you out. My name is ROC.
First thing I noticed was the intro. The little music cue you have there is nice, but with the title coming on and the fade-out, it looks like a mid-commercial break ad for "Days of Our Lives" - very soap-operaish. I wouldn't fade out the music so abruptly.
@:09-:11 I hear a jet plane. But, it's a looped jet plane. I'd either cut it out entirely and replace the background ambience with some lighter wind and some more restaurant sounds. Overall I think the restaurant sounds dead - put some people talking, glasses clinking, etc. You'd be surprised how loud a real restaurant is.
@:13 waiter's dialogue is too chesty and dry. It needs more early reflections and space. I don't mean add a hall reverb to his voice, but give it some place to live. Right now it's extremely dry and sounds out-of-place - almost ADRish.
:16 "I'll have an apple martini" is clipped. Distorted. Levels were too hot. I suggest running it through Izotope RX 1 or 2 if you've got access to it. Otherwise, leave it be - but it's a fault nonetheless.
:22 Wave sound starts way too hot (meaning loud). Gradually fade it in with possibly some reverb attached before you've got it full-boar. Your reference is Saving Private Ryan when old Ryan is looking at Miller's grave and it zooms in on his eye and you hear waves in the distance and they gradually get louder and louder and then BAM you're there on the beach.
@:32 The ambience is looped again just like the airplane in the beginning. Also, throughout the whole beach scene the dialogue is clipped again - possibly not even salvageable.
I hear some hard cuts on the audio during the volleyball game. Make sure all audio regions are faded in and out so they don't abruptly start.
@2:10 another looped ambience.
I love the fridge sequence - sound works well. Possibly a funny buzz from the light could add to the comical effect.
@2:50 cutting between the two, there is a fan on under her dialogue, but under his, it isn't there. Make sure when you shoot them the ambient sound is the same. My guess is your AC turned on when you swapped the room and lights about to shoot her lines.
Pier scene yeah - it's ADRed. I think you did well with creating the soundscape to put the dialogue in a space with background noise. I would have liked to have seen it synced up a bit better to the picture, though.
But, to be honest, I think you did a pretty good job for being not too experience in it. There are tons of threads with help given to those who are new in audio - I suggest checking them out! Lots of good information here.
