archived-videos Short Film: "Johnny"

[Esbifilms]

Hi there

Esbi Films is a production team of 16-18 year olds. We've been making films for around 7 years now, trying to get better all the time, and all films are directed by 16-year-old Sophie Boyce.

Most recently, we've completed our 10-minute film "Johnny", which can be viewed here
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=yPEdGUPBk48

We're just looking for constructive feedback, really.
The YouTube Version isn't actually the final edit, but it's close enough (just a couple of sound adjustments made)

Any feedback and advice is greatly appreciated!

 

[Zensteve]

You lot are the same that made Cuckooland, right?

Yah, more than a bit to work on in the audio. Some of the dubbing towards the end is really echoey (not an open field sound at all)... I'm sure you know the rest.

Very interesting film. I've watched it a couple of times, now. I'm not quite sure I get the whole circular direction, but you're onto a pretty captivating story.

Brought back lots of memories from British-style schooling, at any rate.

Gotta ask: ever visited an actual instituition?

Also, what's the motivation for making this one?

Editing & compositions are good. Acting (aside from from obvious replacement v/o) is good. Oh, that reminds me... the v/o for the "teacher" with the strap doesn't cut the mustard, at all.

Interesting layers, at some points: especially the dialogue from 1:30 to 1:45. Only two lines, but speaks volumes.

I don't get any of the Beatles references at all, aside from the dialogue that starts at 6:06. Harrison's a fairly common name... and it wasn't 'til reading the credits on the YouTube link that Rigby even came up at all. Too subtle? Maybe.

Great short.

 

[jaredp]

I'm going to give an honest opinion, because when it comes to filmmaking, that's the most important one. Keep in mind I'm not judging you, I'm judging your FILM.

Overall it had a poor story, poor editing, and poor direction. Black and white DOES NOT mean style. It's become somewhat of a cliche. Cuts between shots were not on cue, many of the cuts felt like I was jumping back and forward in time for a split second. Which becomes extremely distracting. I'm not sure what else to say. Keep working, investigate shots. It isn't about going out there and capturing things on your camera, then slapping them sequentially together. Each shot should have significance if you're a good filmmaker.

Come to think of it, the story itself was not that bad. It wasn't completely engaging, but it was not completely juvenile at the same time. The problem I have with this is film direction. The problem I have with filmmakers in general is not knowing the responsibility of the director, and the technical aspects of directing a picture. It seems like most filmmakers are like this...even some who have made it.

Keep working, good luck.