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screenwriting question

HKB

HKB

I know avoid the phone call. Well I have a scene in my script where closure is a message left on a phone. Two questions about this:

If I don't see the character in the scene it would be written like this.

Character (V.O.)
(over phone)
blah blah blah

Is this correct?

Second question, how would you write "at the tone leave a message" or what format is best?

Voice Message (V.O.)
(over phone)
At the tone leave a message.

:hmm: Does anyone know?
 
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HKB said:
I know avoid the phone call. Well I have a scene in my script where closure is a message left on a phone. Two questions about this:

If I don't see the character in the scene it would be written like this.

Character (V.O.)
(over phone)
blah blah blah

Is this correct?

Second question, how would you write "at the tone leave a message" or what format is best?

Voice Message (V.O.)
(over phone)
At the tone leave a message.

:hmm: Does anyone know?
Click to expand...

If you don't see the character on screen, then you'd use (O.S) instead of (V.O) - voiceover is for when speech is completely separate from the action. If the character is taking part in the scene but is just not visible, it would be off-screen (O.S).

In the second question, I guess you mean a generic message (rather than one that a character him/herself has recorded)? In that case, I would argue that there's no need for anything beyond naming the speaker appropriately (Automated Answering Service) as there is no risk of Automated Answering Service appearing on screen... :)

As with all my advice, I'll caveat it with the disclaimer that I know nothing about anything :)
 
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maz said:
If you don't see the character on screen, then you'd use (O.S) instead of (V.O) - voiceover is for when speech is completely separate from the action. If the character is taking part in the scene but is just not visible, it would be off-screen (O.S).

In the second question, I guess you mean a generic message (rather than one that a character him/herself has recorded)? In that case, I would argue that there's no need for anything beyond naming the speaker appropriately (Automated Answering Service) as there is no risk of Automated Answering Service appearing on screen... :)

As with all my advice, I'll caveat it with the disclaimer that I know nothing about anything :)
Click to expand...

Thanks!

So this should work if the phone is seen.

ANSWERING MACHINE (V.O.)
blah blah blah

JIMMY'S ANSWERING MACHINE (V.O.)
blah blah blah

:huh:
 
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Code: 
INT.  OFFICE - DAY

Sam looks out the window, distant, gives a resigned nod and
grabs his hat from the desk and pauses.

                             SAM
              Damn, sons of bitches.

He exits exhausted, pulling the door closed behind.  A beat.

Phone rings a couple times before a click.

                             SAM (V.O.)
                     (on speaker)
              You've reached the law offices
              of Perkins and Dowd.  Please
              leave your messaage after 
              the beep.

Beep.

                             TOM (O.S.)
                      (on speaker; excited)
               Sam, this is Tom.  We got the
               stay of execution order from
               the governor's office!  You did
               it!

Phone hangs up.
In general, a voiceover (V.O.) is a disembodied voice often used for thoughts and narration. Off camera (O.C.) and off screen (O.S.) tend to be used interchangeably and imply the person is in the physical vicinity. In this case, it's possible you could cut to the scene of Tom in his office, so the use of O.S. (or O.C.). However, you can't intercut to a voice recording which is why it is often treated as a V.O.

Though honestly, if the rest of the script were excellent, that minor issue would not get your script rejected. There are far more egregious errors that most writers do that cause scripts to be rejected.
 
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HKB said:
Thanks!

So this should work if the phone is seen.

ANSWERING MACHINE (V.O.)
blah blah blah

JIMMY'S ANSWERING MACHINE (V.O.)
blah blah blah

:huh:
Click to expand...

I don't think V.O. is what you're looking for in any case. If the other characters in the scene are able to hear and react to the detached voice (or would be able to if they were there), it's not a V.O. - it's an O.S. character, just as if the character was talking from another room.

V.O. is normally used for a "narrator" speaking around the actual action on screen but not actually a part of it. It's not a matter of the phone being seen (as the phone is not a character).

EDIT: FSF beat me to it. The cavalry has arrived :)
 
Last edited:
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FantasySciFi said:
Code: 
INT.  OFFICE - DAY

Sam looks out the window, distant, gives a resigned nod and
grabs his hat from the desk and pauses.

                             SAM
              Damn, sons of bitches.

He exits exhausted, pulling the door closed behind.  A beat.

Phone rings a couple times before a click.

                             SAM (V.O.)
                     (on speaker)
              You've reached the law offices
              of Perkins and Dowd.  Please
              leave your messaage after 
              the beep.

Beep.

                             TOM (O.S.)
                      (on speaker; excited)
               Sam, this is Tom.  We got the
               stay of execution order from
               the governor's office!  You did
               it!

Phone hangs up.
In general, a voiceover (V.O.) is a disembodied voice often used for thoughts and narration. Off camera (O.C.) and off screen (O.S.) tend to be used interchangeably and imply the person is in the physical vicinity. In this case, it's possible you could cut to the scene of Tom in his office, so the use of O.S. (or O.C.). However, you can't intercut to a voice recording which is why it is often treated as a V.O.

Though honestly, if the rest of the script were excellent, that minor issue would not get your script rejected. There are far more egregious errors that most writers do that cause scripts to be rejected.
Click to expand...

Another question which I think you have already answered. You would use the (V.O.) if a character was talking to themselves? Or perhaps mumbling or thinking to themselves?

Note: Just found this to be true.
 
Last edited:
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When the actor is speaking outloud, you never use V.O. even when mumbling. I could have written
Code: 
                   SAM
            (to himself)
     Damn sons o' bitches!

or
                   SAM
            (under his breath)
     Damn sons o' bitches!

or
                   SAM
            (out the window)
     Damn sons o' bitches!
However, generally you allow the director and actor freedom to decide how to deliver the line. Parentheticals are restricted to clarifying an ambiguous delivery, a mode of delivery and VERY RARELY an action.
 
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