Screenplay: too fast pacing

[chenjie108]

Hey peeps,

My second draft of an action-adventure 78 page screenplay reads like Alice in Wonderland on crack, constantly introducing new characters and locations, and I'd like to be able to "savor" every scene more, or make the story feel more full, but don't want to add unecessary detail.

How do I know what to add, should I add more scenes more dialogue more action?
I don't want to bore the audience, but right now it feels in between an outline/treatment and a screenplay.

Has anyone had this problem? Thanks for any advice

 

[mlesemann]

Have you tried doing a table read? Hear how it sounds and get some feedback?

 

[Mark Pope]

I too would recommend doing some table-reading.

In any form of story-telling I find it very easy to end up in the same boat you are in if I work off of the question "What does the audience need to know for this to make sense?". The risk of course is that what you end up with, is instead of a movie, or short-story you end up with a bullet-point version. Where each detail is both necessary and concise. This a great diving board, because it means you know what your story is about. But two things happen; first, you end up with a rapid series of scenes and before you know it, you're facing down the barrel of a 50 minute movie with the plotline of a 90+ minute feature. Secondly, by avoiding "unnecessary" detail, you make it difficult for your audience to believe your story entirely because everything is too perfect. I've watched movies like this, they tend to have a lot of fade-in/outs, and in pacing they tend to resemble a weekly radio serial from the 60's as apposed to a lush and flowing film.

So what can you do? Switch your question from "what does my audience need to see, in order to understand" to something more along the lines of "In this situation/scene how would this character respond?". The result will indeed be less concise, less to-the-point, but that's how real life is, and a little of that on screen makes the characters believable, and makes it possible for your audience to settle in without feeling like they are being hit over the head with information.

One final thing I'd like to add; movies that spare no "life-like" detail, and use only the necessary information to move the plot forward are more predictable. A little bit of non-plot-driven character development goes a long way in helping keeping your audience from trying to "solve" your plot by guessing how each and every line will play into your story.

^THIS is all assuming you face the same challenges I myself face. Hats off at being so self-aware, but there is a chance of course that not one damn aspect of what I've written applies to you, in which case I apologize for being so long-winded!!

-Mark

 

[Alien X]

Whats a table read. I rather not google

 

[Sweetie]

Whats a table read. I rather not google

It's where you find a table at a local restaurant that has lots of scribble on them. Get your friends to come along and you read out what's been written on the table.

 

[mlesemann]

It's where you find a table at a local restaurant that has lots of scribble on them. Get your friends to come along and you read out what's been written on the table.

Thanks Sweetie.
You said it better than I could

 

[chenjie108]

Perfect and great! Thanks Mark and mlesemann, just what I need.

 

[AudioPostExpert]

How do I know what to add, should I add more scenes more dialogue more action?

More scenes and action will tend to increase pace, which presumably is the opposite of what you want to achieve as you feel the pacing is already "too fast". "Pacing" is a relative term, a fast pace will only be perceived by an audience as fast to start with, thereafter it will be perceived as no pace. To create the perception of fast again, you have to put in some slow pace to create contrast, so an audience has a comparison and can appreciate "fast" again. To create a relentlessly fast pace in film is extraordinarily difficult and exceptionally few directors would even attempt it.

I'd like to be able to "savor" every scene more, or make the story feel more full, but don't want to add unecessary detail.

Adding more dialogue will likely achieve the exact opposite of this desire, it might work for a play but not for a film. If you want an audience to savour a scene then you have to give them something to savour: Set your scene somewhere which is visually interesting, which provides the opportunity for some interesting lighting variations, in which there is movement and which provides a potentially rich palette of interesting sounds. Give your characters time to experience and interact with these environments and through your characters, allow the audience to experience them too.

G