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Unknown Screenwriter

Unknown Screenwriter

Okay, I finally got my short film uploaded... I had entered it into the state of New Mexico's Governor's Cup Film Festival and it even made the cut but somewhere along the line, they said that I neglected to give them an original minidv tape or DVD for projection... The thing is... They never called or emailed me to give one to them... As it turns out, other filmmakers in my area didn't get called either...

Anyway, I made this short specifically for the Governor's Cup. Unfortunately, I got my DVX100A the day before the shoot and I didn't know my way around the camera like I do now. The tripod I had that day also broke which required me to shoot almost everything handheld.

I could only get the two girl actors together the day before the shoot for about 2 hours of rehearsal... They're both high school girls (one is my niece) and act in drama class...

The compression is a little harsh since I don't know my way around Quicktime that well...

I'll be interesested in hearing what you think...

S E X T E E N.mov

Quicktime file...

filmy
 
Upvote 0
FilmJumper said:
Okay, I finally got my short film uploaded... I had entered it into the state of New Mexico's Governor's Cup Film Festival and it even made the cut but somewhere along the line, they said that I neglected to give them an original minidv tape or DVD for projection... The thing is... They never called or emailed me to give one to them... As it turns out, other filmmakers in my area didn't get called either...

Anyway, I made this short specifically for the Governor's Cup. Unfortunately, I got my DVX100A the day before the shoot and I didn't know my way around the camera like I do now. The tripod I had that day also broke which required me to shoot almost everything handheld.

I could only get the two girl actors together the day before the shoot for about 2 hours of rehearsal... They're both high school girls (one is my niece) and act in drama class...

The compression is a little harsh since I don't know my way around Quicktime that well...

I'll be interesested in hearing what you think...

S E X T E E N.mov

Quicktime file...

filmy
Click to expand...

dude, i finally saw it! friggin' cool! i thought the girls' acting was damn good. and, they'll just keep getting better and better. i'd like to use them for one of my shorts. hook me up! what i really liked about this short was how it was fast paced. most friggin' shorts i see (even on this site) are so boring. this was not boring at all and just as soon as i was gettin' into it, it was over! i really like the stats at the end especially new mexico's! cool.

your editing was really really good. these girls totally reminded me of my little sis and the way she talks. damn. get your ass up here and make some films with us!

TheThing

--call me!
 
zen, I have to disagree for one reason. As a father girls in general *act* like this. they in the real world overact in life.

So they seemed to be somewhat natural. A bit annoying, but as for realism, its not what we want to see.. but this is how it is in real life.

The story was kind of weak.. but it just seemed like a scratch film.. just something to test out. they should work on a more solid storyline.

But if they're serious about acting then they should seriouslly work on how to act more mature as well.


*Now Be Cat... now be a fish*

Lol i hated 8th grade drama.
 
PS.. for the record. I in now way would ever be an actor. I just havnt found a way to meet actors to work on my projects. When I settle down in a month or two from my move. I will maybe check out some of the colleges.
 
Watched this film again tonight (mainly because I got a new computer and now I can actually watch things with out garbled sound and jumpy video). I watched it with my cousins (two 15 year old twins, one 14 year old, one 18 year old) in mind. Now they would never use language like this in front of me because in my family I am seen as a clean and moral man (how well they know me), but the emotion swings were on target. I haven't shifted my position too much. I still feel the acting was stiff, but it isn't as awkward as I thought before.

Poke
 
I liked the short. It deals with a serious problem in a realistic manner. It was well shot for the most part. I do think the snake cutaway was way overused. It's great for the ending and maybe the opening. I think where the short suffers is the acting and it's not that the girls are bad actors, they just need more time with the lines. I think the biggest thing you could have done as a director is have them slow down. Everything is delievered at the same pace. A scene is like music and for different feels you have different tempos. For the really serious stuff, there needed to be pauses as the girls think about and digest what's going on. I think you've got a good eye, but you need to study some acting in movies that you like. Watch the pacing and beats, as actors call them, and see how they pace a scene.


As for the comments about the JVC vs. the DVX, well, some of that is a matter of tastes. I don't think the JVC camera ready for prime time. The DVX makes great pictures for the price. Now if you want HDV, the new Sony FX-1 is the way to go.

Keep up the good work.

Scott
 
I try and take a film on it's merits. You already explained that the actresses had little time to rehearse, but dispite that I think it was a good little film for what its worth. So the acting isn't SAG caliber...fine. But the story still came through. And isn't that the most important part?

I would rather have a great story I can always come back to with better lighting, sound, camera, and actors then to waste a good actors time with a sh*tty story I can't fix. Just my thoughts.

Good job filmy. Come back to this story when your actresses are better prepered for the part...the story is worth it.

Rick
 
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