archived-videos Requiem - new short

WhiteOpus

WhiteOpus

Experimenting with dialogue for the first time! It wasn't the best, but wasn't the worst. The recording for the dialogue is god awful, peaking nonstop. I'm pretty bummed about that. However, my job on-set was cinematographer so I think I accomplished what I wanted to. I helped write it, shot all of it, colored all of it, did all the music editing (not my music, but modified to fit each event in the film), all coloring and titles.

enjoy?
critique welcome.

https://vimeo.com/144699204
 
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hey congrats!

I liked most of it, camera moves were good.

my critiques are that colouring isnt consistent at one point theres a tinge of yellow then cuts to white (white balance?), I didnt like the female actresses, the first one just didnt gel well with the guy onscreen for me but thats personal opinion, the guy was pretty decent apart from the end didnt pass off as believable.

I loved the sound and what you did with it, apart from the gun shot.

Minimal dialogue served this well but I didnt get the ending, I couldnt tell what that picture was or what it was about, even watching it again.. perhaps Im too absorbed by production side of things.

but as a whole its good.

just my thoughts :)
 
Thanks for the feedback! The story is definitely a little hard to follow. We wanted to make the story more interesting than "You killed my sister, so I'm going to kill you", and so added the "twist" aspect - that the husband was a victim defending himself, not a perpetrator. It was hard to find simple but effective dialogue that could explain his situation without being too wordy or heavy-handed.
 
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Nice! amazing music!
You know what I would do?

I would make it a silent film. Except for one line! "they knew i knew" (or whatever it was.) The acting wasn't great, so I would let their lips move, execpt for the one line. It will add intrigue even more.

PLEASE fix the scene where he hands her the keys. Get rid of it. just have her take it.

The gun was pointed at his face. he'd be dead. splat. OR lower the gun. Easy to do...reshoot the one scene of the arm. you don't even need the original actor to do it.

I thought the person in the hoodie was someone different than the girl... to make it even more complex!
 
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