archived-videos Please criteque my film

R

Rich0

Hiya, I'm looking for critique on a film I made a few months ago. I'm going to be remaking it soon and I'd like to know what I could change to make it better. I'm aware that it is out of focus in places, I'm more interested in critique regarding story/dialogue. Any feedback would be hugely appreciated.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jo-ekIUzup0
 
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8salacious9 said:
Oh wow a c100, your definitely going to be Spielberg in no time...

You got what was called an honest feedback based on opinion, £200 camera or £5,000 camera, what the hell difference does it make, do you have any concept of lighting? How about audio? Do you understand framing? Can you get better actors? How about a better script? Stick to an arthouse piece until you can write a better story and get better actors..

This is a harsh industry, i just got you riled up so that you wouldn't produce the same pile of crap again, make it much shorter and much better.

Congrats on releasing a 10 minute piece though.
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Then be constructive with criticism instead of trying to wind me up. I'm primarily a writer/editor so framing and lighting were out of my hands. An advert I worked on with just 2 people made it into the top 5 of a national advert competion so I clearly am not as incompetent as you are trying to make out.
 
Rich0 said:
Then be constructive with criticism instead of trying to wind me up. I'm primarily a writer/editor so framing and lighting were out of my hands. An advert I worked on with just 2 people made it into the top 5 of a national advert competion so I clearly am not as incompetent as you are trying to make out.
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Welcome to the real world, were adults who won't kiss your ass, Iv had rough times too from people just makes me better each time, don't make excuses for what you are, if your not a director then stop trying to be one.

If your a writer then stick to writing, if your an editor then stick to editing, you asked for critique you got it, you said an advert you worked on.. Exactly what did you do ? Please share the link, I saw one of your vids which was a street fighter type thing, I thought that was ok, it was fun bit crappy aesthetically but passable for fun.

Some people are good at certain genres, some aren't that's life.

Wind you up? You just basically told me your next ones going to be better because your shooting on a c100 for heavens sake! Your winding me up if anything, like I said, learn about lighting, framing, getting your actors to act properly, 10 minutes is too much for you right now, learn to make something smaller and beautiful then once you have a learnt the beauty expand it a little bit..
 
This is was the ad, I did the editing and came up with the idea for it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPAT1vm3koo

. It seemed like you winding me up because you were implying I had zero talent and didn't know anything about framing etc. I'm a film student not a professional, I guess it's my bad for not making this clear. The acting is shit I agree, I got told by other students on my course that they really liked the idea but it needs to be remade because there was a lot wrong with it that dragged it down. I'm not being butthurt, I thought the first comment reply I had in which someone highlighted to me the flaws in making too many cuts was valid as perhaps is the length of the film. This is the kind of stuff that will be helpful upon remaking.
 
Rich0 said:
This is was the ad, I did the editing and came up with the idea for it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPAT1vm3koo

. It seemed like you winding me up because you were implying I had zero talent and didn't know anything about framing etc. I'm a film student not a professional, I guess it's my bad for not making this clear. The acting is shit I agree, I got told by other students on my course that they really liked the idea but it needs to be remade because there was a lot wrong with it that dragged it down. I'm not being butthurt, I thought the first comment reply I had in which someone highlighted to me the flaws in making too many cuts was valid as perhaps is the length of the film. This is the kind of stuff that will be helpful upon remaking.
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How long have you been filmmaking?
 
I'm 24 never went to film school, i write, direct, am a DOP and editor, Iv only been doing this for a year and a half, I'm not a good director but I'm getting better, I work with what I have got and am relatively poor, my best skills are as DOP and a writer, I hate everything I make.

Being honest I think at 25 you should be more advanced than what you are now, your quite away behind from other people I have seen, however you have got an eye for comedy type of stuff in that regards you have talent for writing fun comedy style adverts.

You are at film school you have a wealth of equipment and crew at your disposal.. Excuses are not available, if people don't want to work with you then that is a testament to your ability, which is the truth, people only work with me coz they think I have something not because of my equipment which is pretty poor compared to other DOP's

If you are going to remake this vid then I would personally do the following:

1. Rewrite to 5 minutes or less
2. Get a sound guy
3. Get a cameraman (preferably with DOP experience or talent)
4. Get a lighting technician
5. Get 2 runners (script supervisor + clapper assistant working with the supervisor)
6. Get a sound designer

Then your good to go, your an editor so you can edit to your own degree, if possible get a director or assistant director because your going to need the help, even I do.

Having these as minimum should increase your productivity and it doesn't matter what your camera is, I'd rather have these and a £20 camera than a c100 by itself if I was going to make something good.

*TOP TIP* copy a few lighting styles from some films, try to emulate the design!
 
Rich0 said:
I've always been taught to believe story, location, acting are the three most important things in a film.
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Oh dear, who taught you to believe that? Simple basic logic should tell you it's obviously untrue... You could have a great story, the perfect location, the finest actors and still end up with a film which is so terrible it's un-watchable!

Rich0 said:
Technical issues really aren't an issue because they would inevitably be better this time around.
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Would a talentless carpenter suddenly make great chairs if he/she had marginally better tools? He/she "would inevitably" make better chairs but better than atrocious doesn't mean great or even good enough, terrible is better than atrocious right? The reality is that the technicalities of film making are always a problem and an extremely serious concern, at every budget and skill level. Not fully appreciating this fact is always going to restrict you to an amateur standard of filmmaking.

Rich0 said:
I'm aware that it is out of focus in places, I'm more interested in critique regarding story/dialogue.
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The quality of a film is not defined by the quality of the story, it's defined by the quality of storytelling, which is a very different thing. You can have a relatively weak, mundane story but if it's told by a great raconteur it will be engaging and entertaining. Conversely, you can have a great story but if it's told badly, it will be un-engaging and boring. Therefore, it's almost impossible to objectively judge/critique your story when the telling of the story is so atrocious! There is far more wrong with your film than it just being "out of focus in places", as others have pointed out. You stated that "any feedback would be hugely appreciated" but when feedback is given on how to improve your storytelling so that the story/dialogue can be appreciated, then instead of being appreciative you do the opposite get stroppy, what's all that about!?

Rich0 said:
Then be constructive with criticism instead of trying to wind me up.
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The criticism was constructive, the only reason you don't see it as constructive and are getting wound up is because you seem to misunderstand what film is, what makes a good (or bad) one and therefore what you need to do to make better films.

Rich0 said:
An advert I worked on with just 2 people made it into the top 5 of a national advert competion so I clearly am not as incompetent as you are trying to make out.
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You did not ask the members here to critique your entry to a national avert competition, what you did ask us to critique does indeed demonstrate a high degree of storytelling incompetence.

G
 
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AudioPostExpert said:
Oh dear, who taught you to believe that? Simple basic logic should tell you it's obviously untrue... You could have a great story, the perfect location, the finest actors and still end up with a film which is so terrible it's un-watchable!
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Wow, false dichotomy much. You're basically telling me if those three elements were all spot on and everything else was terrible you would have a rubbish film...No shit. I said they are the most important things, not that they single handedly makes a film good. My tutor told me that, he was assistant director on Dead Mans Shoe's so he might know what he's on about.
 
Rich0 said:
Wow, false dichotomy much. You're basically telling me if those three elements were all spot on and everything else was terrible you would have a rubbish film...No shit. I said they are the most important things, not that they single handedly makes a film good. My tutor told me that, he was assistant director on Dead Mans Shoe's so he might know what he's on about.
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so then why did you not listen to him and apply the methods?
 
Rich0 said:
My tutor told me that, he was assistant director on Dead Mans Shoe's so he might know what he's on about.
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AD on a whole film? Wow, I'm impressed! :)

Strange that on the one hand you seem to be quoting your tutor as a definitive expert on filmmaking and on the other hand you seem to be ignoring him completely. Of the 3 apparently "most important things in a film" how good was the acting in your film and how good was the location? The last of the 3, the story, I couldn't judge/critique because the other two "most important things", plus just about all the other apparently not so important "things" were all so poorly executed it was impossible to tell!

So in fact you lied when you said that "any feedback would be hugely appreciated"? Although the contributors to this thread may have been a little harsh (including me), they've nevertheless given you some usable information and for that you should be grateful rather than so defensive. The professional film world is far harsher than we've been, if you're not capable of taking a bit of harsh criticism maybe you're aiming at the wrong profession?

G
 
AudioPostExpert said:
AD on a whole film? Wow, I'm impressed! :)

Strange that on the one hand you seem to be quoting your tutor as a definitive expert on filmmaking and on the other hand you seem to be ignoring him completely. Of the 3 apparently "most important things in a film" how good was the acting in your film and how good was the location? The last of the 3, the story, I couldn't judge/critique because the other two "most important things", plus just about all the other apparently not so important "things" were all so poorly executed it was impossible to tell!

So in fact you lied when you said that "any feedback would be hugely appreciated"? Although the contributors to this thread may have been a little harsh (including me), they've nevertheless given you some usable information and for that you should be grateful rather than so defensive. The professional film world is far harsher than we've been, if you're not capable of taking a bit of harsh criticism maybe you're aiming at the wrong profession?

G
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:clap:
 
Look, all aspects of filmmaking are important. There's not one, three, or five most important aspects to making a film. The best skill a filmmaker can have is the ability to combine all aspects of filmmaking together to create an illusion.

Use the tools that you have available to their maximum potential. It's not the tools, but how you use those tools.
 
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