archived-videos Noire- experimental, dark, action webseries

[Film Faction]

Glad to see it finally finished.
As a senior thesis to get degrees, this is something we have been working on for the past 4 months. So you could technically classify it as a "student film" (since this episode is), but our aim is to evolve far beyond that.

As an ambitious project from the start for what we know what we were capable of doing, and what equipment we had; we knew we would be treading new water for this whole thing.

So all that being said - this is not a professional production. More of an experiment with what we could do and what was given. I'm more surprised than anything to have the amount of people that wanted to collaborate, especially with music. Let us know if you have any suggestions towards anything.

UPDATE POST:
The director got in his grade, a 'B', which he wasn't happy about. The judges' comments pointed out some things that I could understand, but they offered nothing as to where and when these things happen. Examples - long opening (I can understand that), "story", "sound", "dialogue", "fighting", "music was a crutch at parts", "sound design and foley could be used better"...

So my question to other filmmakers/critiques here: how would you explain these comments or specify?

Please leave a critique or thoughts!
Thanks for your time!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/j6NJthS30TA

 

[maz]

Glad to see it finally finished.
As a senior thesis to get degrees, this is something we have been working on for the past 4 months. So you could technically classify it as a "student film" (since this episode is), but our aim is to evolve far beyond that.

As an ambitious project from the start for what we know what we were capable of doing, and what equipment we had; we knew we would be treading new water for this whole thing.

So all that being said - this is not a professional production. More of an experiment with what we could do and what was given. I'm more surprised than anything to have the amount of people that wanted to collaborate, especially with music. Let us know if you have any suggestions towards anything.

Please leave a critique or thoughts!
Thanks for your time!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/j6NJthS30TA

I quite enjoyed it - it was very stylish and, I guess, stylised. Nothing particularly original in there, but it was edited and put together nicely, with decent music (strange popping sounds at some points though?) An intriguing first episode and I would maybe tune in for more on the basis of the potential it showed.

The long title sequence (like HBO long) was probably not the best idea, as I very nearly turned off after about 20 seconds.

For a student production, it looked and sounded surprisingly professional. Good job!

Special mention to the guy playing Felix, who was really excellent, I thought. And the receptionist is stunningly beautiful. Wow.

 

[gorillaonabike]

Congratulations on cutting this together.

Lots of effort has gone into this. Lost a bit of interest and started fast-forwarding at around 5 minutes but looks OK. I imagine you've learned tons and it's the kind of production which makes me want to see what you will do next.

 

[cheeseandachallenge]

Yeah visually pretty cool and a cool soundtrack. The visual style felt a little over-the-top/clunky - I know it was intentionally over the top, but it felt like imitation of a style you guys liked, rather than a careful integration of that style. Pretty sweet that you got Carpenter Brut's track for the opening (though as Maz said it was far too long - and not at all interesting enough to justify its length).

Some of the acting was pretty weak - I think the main actor was maybe a casting mistake. But I presume you were working with cheap/free actors, so all-in-all it wasn't too bad. Not helped by some averagely written dialogue.

It is a pretty well made piece, and really impressive for a student film. Enough that if someone I was hiring showed me this I'd be interested in working with them, but not enough to engage me as a casual viewer (story didn't draw me in, didn't finish the film). As Gorilla said, you must have learnt a heap. The technical foundations appear to be present in your work that with the right story and a more refined direction this team could make something really compelling.

What was your role in the production?

 

[Film Faction]

I quite enjoyed it - it was very stylish and, I guess, stylised. Nothing particularly original in there, but it was edited and put together nicely, with decent music (strange popping sounds at some points though?) An intriguing first episode and I would maybe tune in for more on the basis of the potential it showed.

The long title sequence (like HBO long) was probably not the best idea, as I very nearly turned off after about 20 seconds.

For a student production, it looked and sounded surprisingly professional. Good job!

Special mention to the guy playing Felix, who was really excellent, I thought. And the receptionist is stunningly beautiful. Wow.

I agree with the title sequence. The idea behind it was that it is a title sequence for the series as a whole. Future titles will be quick and not nearly so lengthy. But where did you hear the popping noises? Also agree with the comments on Felix and receptionist. Dustin Babin (Felix Black) is a very talented actor and was glad he was able to fill a role. Unfortunately, he lives in another city and can't be relied upon to make constant shoots every weekend, but it was great to see his portrayal.

Congratulations on cutting this together.

Lots of effort has gone into this. Lost a bit of interest and started fast-forwarding at around 5 minutes but looks OK. I imagine you've learned tons and it's the kind of production which makes me want to see what you will do next.

Thanks for your thoughts! Guessing it was better than the teaser trailer?

Yeah visually pretty cool and a cool soundtrack. The visual style felt a little over-the-top/clunky - I know it was intentionally over the top, but it felt like imitation of a style you guys liked, rather than a careful integration of that style. Pretty sweet that you got Carpenter Brut's track for the opening (though as Maz said it was far too long - and not at all interesting enough to justify its length).

Some of the acting was pretty weak - I think the main actor was maybe a casting mistake. But I presume you were working with cheap/free actors, so all-in-all it wasn't too bad. Not helped by some averagely written dialogue.

It is a pretty well made piece, and really impressive for a student film. Enough that if someone I was hiring showed me this I'd be interested in working with them, but not enough to engage me as a casual viewer (story didn't draw me in, didn't finish the film). As Gorilla said, you must have learnt a heap. The technical foundations appear to be present in your work that with the right story and a more refined direction this team could make something really compelling.

What was your role in the production?

To answer your question first, I'm the editor, music supervisor, and lead role. But I actually agree with you on my own acting for this episode; I detest what I did. Wish I could go back and do it again, now that I'm more into the production and into character, but I think for most parts it's at least tolerable.

We had asked Brut if we could use his music (he's an indie artist), he was cool about it and let us. We used his music in the title, gun fight in the warehouse, and the last 2 fight scenes. The Enigma TNG also allowed us to use his music, which worked perfectly for ambiance. And for the credits, a member on here messaged me about making some music and came up with that. Keoki Trask, goes by Soundtack on here. And then I would make my own little tunes here and there.

The inspiration behind the look is Blade Runner and Drive. I don't know much about cinematography myself, but I can see where you're coming from. There's a couple scenes that are arguably too saturated with a color. But it's all a big learning experience for everyone working on it. Which is why it's more of a experiment than an professional production.

But thank you all for the kind words, we really did put in a hell of a lot into this, and managed to pull off a lot of things we've never tried before.

 

[cheeseandachallenge]

To answer your question first, I'm the editor, music supervisor, and lead role. But I actually agree with you on my own acting for this episode; I detest what I did. Wish I could go back and do it again, now that I'm more into the production and into character, but I think for most parts it's at least tolerable.

We had asked Brut if we could use his music (he's an indie artist), he was cool about it and let us. We used his music in the title, gun fight in the warehouse, and the last 2 fight scenes. The Enigma TNG also allowed us to use his music, which worked perfectly for ambiance. And for the credits, a member on here messaged me about making some music and came up with that. Keoki Trask, goes by Soundtack on here. And then I would make my own little tunes here and there.

The inspiration behind the look is Blade Runner and Drive. I don't know much about cinematography myself, but I can see where you're coming from. There's a couple scenes that are arguably too saturated with a color. But it's all a big learning experience for everyone working on it. Which is why it's more of a experiment than an professional production.

But thank you all for the kind words, we really did put in a hell of a lot into this, and managed to pull off a lot of things we've never tried before.

Well now I feel bad Your acting is definitely 'tolerable.' As I said there are definite writing issues that don't do you any favours. You appear to have a decent acting range, so I'd suggest there is at least partial responsibility for the director not directing you well enough. I recently worked with an excellent actor (who is a professional actor who's worked in a wide range of films) on a 48 hours film competition, and a couple of audience members thought his performance was poor. While the audience blamed him, the blame should have my own as I didn't give him strong enough direction, and bits of his performance read weirdly. The editing was pretty good from what I saw, and the pacing was pretty good (but I lost interested due to the story).

 

[Film Faction]

Well now I feel bad Your acting is definitely 'tolerable.' As I said there are definite writing issues that don't do you any favours. You appear to have a decent acting range, so I'd suggest there is at least partial responsibility for the director not directing you well enough. I recently worked with an excellent actor (who is a professional actor who's worked in a wide range of films) on a 48 hours film competition, and a couple of audience members thought his performance was poor. While the audience blamed him, the blame should have my own as I didn't give him strong enough direction, and bits of his performance read weirdly. The editing was pretty good from what I saw, and the pacing was pretty good (but I lost interested due to the story).

Haha no hard feelings. I suddenly jumped into the main character after about 6 years of not really acting in anything.

If you were to be picky, what about the story made you lose interest?

 

[cheeseandachallenge]

Haha no hard feelings. I suddenly jumped into the main character after about 6 years of not really acting in anything.

If you were to be picky, what about the story made you lose interest?

You did pretty well after such a lengthy break.

I never made it far enough to figure out what had happened to your character/why he was in this situation. There appeared to be an attempt to hook the audience with the mystery of what was going on. Things seemed to be intentionally left vague to keep the audience guessing, but after about 6 minutes of not really knowing what was going on (and not enough clues being dropped to make me attempt to guess), cliched and vague dialogue I had lost interest. Perhaps hints were laid throughout, but I was watching pretty casually and didn't pick them up. That said, I'm not a gritty action film kinda guy, so the action/interrogation parts and visual style might have kept other viewers engaged, whereas it does little for me - I'm not really your target audience.

It is really difficult to keep a mystery (not that this film would have been a mystery by genre, but the opening has mystery elements to the narrative) tense and compelling enough to have the audience guessing at multiple possibilities, without having things appear too obvious. Had the same issue on my aforementioned 48 hour film, and failed miserably (in the other direction, where we were worried about appearing too vague and consequently made things too apparent).

 

[Film Faction]

You did pretty well after such a lengthy break.

I never made it far enough to figure out what had happened to your character/why he was in this situation. There appeared to be an attempt to hook the audience with the mystery of what was going on. Things seemed to be intentionally left vague to keep the audience guessing, but after about 6 minutes of not really knowing what was going on (and not enough clues being dropped to make me attempt to guess), cliched and vague dialogue I had lost interest. Perhaps hints were laid throughout, but I was watching pretty casually and didn't pick them up. That said, I'm not a gritty action film kinda guy, so the action/interrogation parts and visual style might have kept other viewers engaged, whereas it does little for me - I'm not really your target audience.

It is really difficult to keep a mystery (not that this film would have been a mystery by genre, but the opening has mystery elements to the narrative) tense and compelling enough to have the audience guessing at multiple possibilities, without having things appear too obvious. Had the same issue on my aforementioned 48 hour film, and failed miserably (in the other direction, where we were worried about appearing too vague and consequently made things too apparent).

I see what you're saying. I feel like this episode is an entire feel to the series (lots of fighting, undertoned mystery, story-arch with different characters). The second episode is almost a drastic difference. Far more exploring and character development, far less fighting each other. The story does unravel through out the series.

 

[maz]

I agree with the title sequence. The idea behind it was that it is a title sequence for the series as a whole. Future titles will be quick and not nearly so lengthy. But where did you hear the popping noises? Also agree with the comments on Felix and receptionist. Dustin Babin (Felix Black) is a very talented actor and was glad he was able to fill a role. Unfortunately, he lives in another city and can't be relied upon to make constant shoots every weekend, but it was great to see his portrayal.

Having a title sequence for a series is fine, but there were two issues with it. Firstly it was too long, and secondly it turned its back on convention by not having a cold open to draw viewers into an episode. While it's true that HBO dramas don't generally have a cold open AND have a long title sequence (roughly the same length as yours), that is for hour-long episodes that viewers have already bought into by paying for HBO

I can't remember exactly where the popping sounds were, and it may just have been my headphones or something. I think it was a (rare) period of silence, and the sound sort of popped in and out a bit.

 

[Film Faction]

Having a title sequence for a series is fine, but there were two issues with it. Firstly it was too long, and secondly it turned its back on convention by not having a cold open to draw viewers into an episode. While it's true that HBO dramas don't generally have a cold open AND have a long title sequence (roughly the same length as yours), that is for hour-long episodes that viewers have already bought into by paying for HBO

I can't remember exactly where the popping sounds were, and it may just have been my headphones or something. I think it was a (rare) period of silence, and the sound sort of popped in and out a bit.

Agreed, opening titles sequences will be much shorter for future episodes. There have been some comments that there was popping for headphone users as you described. I'll have to make sure it doesn't happen again.


Updated original post.