Wow! Nicky sure isn't having a good day at all!
Lots of good things going for this; a few things need attention.
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It reminded me a lot of the PeeWee Herman movies.
Great shot of Nicky getting out of bed, then feet hitting the floor.
Constant bully was great. (Was expecting "comedy comes in three's")
The kissing scene was hilarious. PeeWee did a similar thing in "Big Top PeeWee" which a lot of adults didn't get... lasted over two minutes. The pan in your shot wasn't so smooth... better tripod, maybe.
Very dodgy edits, when returning the wallet... especially with sound. "How'd you get this?" was clearly repeated along with some funky background noise. You can use "J-cuts" and "L-cuts" (J & L are similar cuts; just reversed) to solve edit problems like that.
Surrealism strikes again when Nicky gets his reward... I was
not expecting that.
Clown sequence was kinda odd. Odd in a good way, but also irrelavent in many others.
The ending sure came out of the blue.
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You have a lot of great situations & events happening.
The thing is... they don't really tie together at all. There are many random, funny things happening. They are funny/bizarre in their own right... it just doesn't flow.
Nicky is a victim of circumstance. He's not looking for anything, or seeking closure, or accomplishing anything.
If you need a crash-course in story development, begin with
this. There are better books out there, but for really nailing the basics it's as good a place to start as any. It's a bit irreverant, but it makes its point.
Also... do more cutting. A lot more. When you think you've cut enough... cut some more. You could easily cut that to 6:00 from 7:44 without missing a beat. I think even a 5:00 mark (with titles/credits) is possible. Most of the cut material would be the journey Nicky takes, while travelling from situation to situation.
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Overall, a very funny film. Needs some tweaking, but that's why we're all here to start with.
