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watch New Short, Unfinished Crisis.

D

doomedvideos

Hi all,

I have just finished editing my new short film for a local fest/competition where I am. I just thought id screen it on here first to see what you guys think, any input would be very helpful, although I cant really shoot anymore footage of this.

Here is a link where I temporary dumped the video:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FfgpFI1g4s


Thanks for any feedback :)
 
Concept was good. Production and Acting killed it.

It seemed very unbelievable especially when the actor was attacing the victim. At points it looked like he was just tapping the bag with his shovel and didn't look at all realistic. The running scene was much to slow and didn't protray the fear or chase scene. I would advise adding some sort of intense type music to create that atmosphere.

The ending also never created a definite ending, and it counteracted the entire first part of the film when the man is burying him. Nothing was explained, even in a sense that you don't want the audience to know why or what has happened previous to these events.

Also this isn't a big deal but at the shot of the front of the car (0:28 on youtube) you can see the cameraman.

I would say that the concept and idea of this could work well, but needs a lot of work.
 
I didn't like how you kept jumping from B&W to colour. It didn't work.
The guy didn't choose a very secluded place to bury the body, saw a car drive past in the background. The bag looked a bit too limp to contain a body, in places. The acting could have been better. The bit where the guy runs from the body bag was funny, but I don't think it was suposed to be.

I think you need to work on things a bit. Apart from the B&W bits mixed in, the editing wasn't too bad. If you can get yourself some actors to work with you could do well. I'm guessing you were just using people you know, which I completely understand.
 
This short was a last attempt to enter somthing as I was let down by other people who agreed to do a short with me. They are obviously not real actors, so I guess I had to make this some kind of dark humour.

thanks for the input I have taken on board some of these factors and Ill have to go back and change a few things.


cheers :)
 
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