Ray,
You're absolutely right. There are multiple ways to work in the kitchen. And I didn't write the above post to keep in the same vein of being the constant contrarian for no good reason who grates on everyone's nerves.
What I saw was Connor trying to tell a story. A story wants to jump out of him. And he is questioning his ability to tell it. He finds his dialog forced. He finds that his characters don't have depth. I think this is just what a writer should feel. I don't know how to dispense advice on this front, but I know that I know my deficiencies every time I read good writing. So I'm assuming Connor wanted advice in that regard too, cause he feels like I feel. And everybody jumped on what the art of Capitalization is. Nobody talked about his dialog. Nobody mentioned whether this Nathan character was interesting or not.
So I just wanted to tell him "yeah, I think Nathan Bull is an interesting character, and I want to know more about him, and this woman's kid." And I wanted to tell him, that I didn't want to discuss punctuation with him.
Connor, one thing I do when it comes to dialog is when I rehearse, and I hear other people say my lines, I decide at that moment whether something sounds believable or not. And if I don't find it believable, I change my lines immediately to something that seems more natural to the person playing the part. Maybe the person doesn't say anything, or maybe she nods, or sips on her coffee or looks into the distance. But rewriting becomes easier when you hear other people act out the lines you write.
It's not the only way. It's just a technique I tend to use. So far I like it. It's fairly easy. There are lots of other techniques by lots of serious writers.
Watch movies by Neil Jordan. People in his movies don't even talk sometimes. They grunt, nod, or look away, and it all seems real.
My point was, work the kitchen as you like, but I want to talk about the dish.
Edit: Beatlesfan did talk about Nathan, so I walk back my critique somewhat
Edit2: Also, Connor, I wanted to mention that it's pretty clear Nathan has an issue with the priests. You don't have to divulge the issue at the beginning of the story to give him character. I don't believe that is necessary. Keep the suspense going. Why does he tell off the priest? Why does he warn the mother? These raise enough interest for me to keep going through more to find out. Play with your audience. give them a little. don't give them anything at some points and keep them hanging on for more. Whatever helps you build it up, is just fine I think.
