NEED script critics !!!

[mashbatbros]

Hey guys,

I need some criticism on my latest script. I have pretty good feeling about this
but I need your honest criticisms to make it better.

Thank you very much for your time

 

[Filman]

The climax is pretty neat. Have him run 2-3x300 meters instead. Same speed 12 minute break. You can have the coach say that he's fit for 45,5. Hamstring is 2-3 weeks, so make that a knee injury.

 

[lefecious]

You should fix the spelling and grammatical errors before asking someone to read it... "its" instead of "it's", "quiet" instead of "quite"

Wasn't really feeling the dialogue. Some of it didn't sound how real people talk. Like when the kid overhears that he'll never walk again, his reaction is "Guess I won't be running the 400 next year" or something like that. I would imagine it would be more shock/devastation/denial.