treatment Need help with PLOT and TREATMENT

[Constantin]

Hello...I have a rather interesting request.

I am trying to write a drama about two identical twins that grow up to be teens, but unaware that they have been separated (either at birth or very shortly after). Originally in my first draft (attached), the mom takes her twins home thinking that they are fraternal twins but there is a mix up and the identical twins get split up in the hospital. I have since rejected that as it is just too far fetched to be taken seriously. Feel free to read the attached treatment.

Jkds kindly read the original draft and correctly told me this is too far fetched. He suggested the adoption angle.

Here's one suggestion - When the twins are born following a complicated birth, one is diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. The Doctor tells Caroline the boy may well need special care and is unlikely to survive through childhood. Faced with the prospect of life as a single mother caring for a sickly child, she makes the difficult and somewhat selfish decision to put the ill child up for adoption. She can't bear the thought of spending years nurturing the child knowing they will soon die. It's at this point then that a mix-up takes place (perhaps the diagnosis is put on the wrong child's medical notes) and the mother inadvertently gives up the healthy child. It would serve as an interesting subplot then, as when Kevin's condition is finally re-discovered as a teen, the mother realises what must have happened and that her other son is probably out there somewhere, still alive. In the hospital then, when everyone sees Hugh and Kevin are identical, the mother breaks down and confesses to the adoption. This seems to me a cleaner way to do the "reveal" than them all trying to piece together what happened all those years ago with the hospital mix-up. Although the audience would be able see it using a flashback, the characters themselves
would just be guessing as to what had actually transpired.

You can still keep Connor in the story, just make it so that he is a year older than Kevin and that the father dies shortly after the mother falls pregnant for the second time. This would add credence to the mother's decision to give up the one son since she already has another young child to care for and is struggling to cope following her husband's death. You could also make it so that Hugh's adoptive mother realised that there has been a mix-up but chose not to say anything (You'd think the adoption agency would have to had let her know the child was ill and needs treatment which tests would later prove to be incorrect). It's partly due to this guilt of not owning up that she tries to make amends by offering Hugh's heart to save Kevin.

Another option is that the twins' biological mother dies or puts them both up for adoption and that they then get homed with these two separate adoptive families.

Would really love any input from the forum to improve the plot ... thanks!

 

[StoneJack]

I'll check out those... Thanks

hi i didn't mean that your plot is a clone of these. I wanted to say that these stories have similar twins setup.

 

[Constantin]

No worries mate, I cleaned up the story a bit ... added several pages...but it it is still evolving

 

[Maxsdad]

Thanks for chiming in. Someone who takes the nobler route would put both twins up for adoption and the less nobler one would put the sick one up for adoption I would think,

An ideal scenario I am looking for is one where the 2 mothers and 2 misplaced twins are oblivious as my story works best where the audience believes both mothers care about their children.

It is a story about sacrifice

What's "noble" about abandoning both of your children? And maybe I don't understand because I'm only a dad, but IMHO the only one's sacrificing anything are the babies. Or are you saying that "noble actions" have a different meaning to Bollywood? BTW, I've been a member here for about 10 years, and I've learned that Mlesemann isn't just another pretty face... when she speaks, you'd be well served to pay attention to what she says.

 

[Constantin]

Well, I was commenting on a Reddit discussion about a real life case of woman who was considering putting up one twin up for adoption and raising the other. Seems that post has since been removed but those who were commenting asked a good question, "How do you choose which twin to keep?"

And there's the question of separating the twins altogether. Some of the comments were from actual twins and it is interesting the strong bond that exists between them. In fact, in the eyes of the posters who were twins, they were quite adamant that separating them would be the worst thing that would come out of it.

My wife is an identical twin herself and I just posed her this very question. She confirmed that she felt as though her twin is almost an extension of herself. When I asked her to compare the relationship between her twin and her younger sister (younger by two years), she said it’s not even close. So my response was somewhat nuanced based on the Reddit discussion.

The right thing to do is for the mom to keep both, obviously!

Unless we are twins ourselves, it is a difficult thing to weigh on either side of the debate, but as Mlesemann suggested, the reality is people would not adopt the twins if one was sick so it is a terrible situation all around.

As a parent myself, I would hate to have to make that sort of decision of which one of my kids I have to choose. When I was a kid, I remember watching a TV movie that depicted this situation. It was called “Who will love my children”. I clearly remember watching that movie because my dad was crying his eyes out the whole time throughout the movie. It’s a real tear jerker based on a true story.

As a kid, I wasn’t too emotional when I saw that one but watching it now may have a different effect on me. The “scene” that made me cry as a kid was from "The Champ", which is recognized as the saddest scene in film history. The movie itself wasn't great but that last scene when the champ dies...Oh man it's tough to watch.