Hello all, I was wondering if you could take a look at the first screenplay i have ever written.
It is script a short film ( maybe 10 minutes long) and I have been working on it for a few weeks now. Finally, i have decided that it is time for people other than myself to help tear it apart (not literally).
and so here it is:
https://docs.google.com/open?id=0Bz70_Jy5DCURN2Q4ODNhYzUtZGI5ZC00ZWQ3LTk3ZjUtOTVmZjQ5MDNmODY5
I personally believe it is an idea full of potential, but as it currently stands it has plenty of room for improvements. So please be brutally honest with me about any flaws, be it technical, or artistic related.
Any comments, or suggestions are welcome.
EDIT: Oh, and I'm also having trouble coming up with a good name for it. So ideas on that would be welcome too.
It is script a short film ( maybe 10 minutes long) and I have been working on it for a few weeks now. Finally, i have decided that it is time for people other than myself to help tear it apart (not literally).
and so here it is:
https://docs.google.com/open?id=0Bz70_Jy5DCURN2Q4ODNhYzUtZGI5ZC00ZWQ3LTk3ZjUtOTVmZjQ5MDNmODY5
I personally believe it is an idea full of potential, but as it currently stands it has plenty of room for improvements. So please be brutally honest with me about any flaws, be it technical, or artistic related.
Any comments, or suggestions are welcome.

EDIT: Oh, and I'm also having trouble coming up with a good name for it. So ideas on that would be welcome too.
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