Need feedback for the story.
Ok it's a short film but since it's my first, i want it to be really good, that's why i am posting the plot here.
So, The film is called "FAIZ". I have to give some background to give u a perspective towards the story.
"Faiz Ahmed Faiz", was a famous socialist poet from Pakistan. He wrote a poem called: "Kuttay" (meaning Dogs) in which he compared the people of Pakistan living below the poverty line to Dogs.
Things haven't changed a lot, rich poor gap is increasing.
Inspired from all this i wrote my first short film, the basic plot of it is this:
A guy in his twenties at his posh locality in Karachi is sticking"Missing Dog posters" on the wall of his residential area.
A street kid (10) named: "Faiz" passing by, stops and tells the guy that he has seen this dog in this abandoned house near the man's locality. And due to kid's conviction the guy follows him to the abandoned house. Kid guides him towards the house.
In the house, he follows his sense of smell which takes him to the room that stinks the most, kid follows him. It's dark, he uses his mobile torch and ends up seeing the dead body of the kid (Faiz) over there. He ends up vomiting and the kid who was following him is no longer to be found.
It's a basic plot, some of u might say: end is predictable. But i think it's not about the plot, but a three minute (max 4 min short) about a condition.
Ok it's a short film but since it's my first, i want it to be really good, that's why i am posting the plot here.
So, The film is called "FAIZ". I have to give some background to give u a perspective towards the story.
"Faiz Ahmed Faiz", was a famous socialist poet from Pakistan. He wrote a poem called: "Kuttay" (meaning Dogs) in which he compared the people of Pakistan living below the poverty line to Dogs.
Things haven't changed a lot, rich poor gap is increasing.
Inspired from all this i wrote my first short film, the basic plot of it is this:
A guy in his twenties at his posh locality in Karachi is sticking"Missing Dog posters" on the wall of his residential area.
A street kid (10) named: "Faiz" passing by, stops and tells the guy that he has seen this dog in this abandoned house near the man's locality. And due to kid's conviction the guy follows him to the abandoned house. Kid guides him towards the house.
In the house, he follows his sense of smell which takes him to the room that stinks the most, kid follows him. It's dark, he uses his mobile torch and ends up seeing the dead body of the kid (Faiz) over there. He ends up vomiting and the kid who was following him is no longer to be found.
It's a basic plot, some of u might say: end is predictable. But i think it's not about the plot, but a three minute (max 4 min short) about a condition.
Last edited:
... i'll definitely make it. hope it gets articulated well on screen.