Near silent film

[diamondwind]

Any tips on writing a script with only a few pages of dialogue? In the vein of "Only God Forgives" or " The Samurai".

Thanks in advance,

M

 

[MiniJamesW]

Yeah I did notice that the role of sound designer was developed throughout several films, although it's interesting how it's a relatively recent development (in terms of overall film history, the late 70's and 80's aren't that long ago even if we just limit film history to the sync sound era).

Coppola basically said to Murch: "What are we missing which we could be taking advantage of?". The result was that Murch effectively edited the script, even to the point of writing a completely new scene, and the film was thoroughly sound designed by an actual Sound Designer.

That's interesting, I feel like developing scenes based on the sound is an interesting development in cinema especially in a war film where it's crucial to the realism of the entire setting. I like how this shows how the director was willing to collaborate in a field that he wasn't an expert on in order to enhance the film.

Here, IMHO, we start to get to the heart of it. Yes, the best sound design work is only available to those with very substantial budgets but isn't this also true of all the other film roles/crafts as well? That doesn't stop serious no/lo budget filmmakers from learning and trying to be DOPs, Picture Editors, Screenwriters, etc., or collaborating with other amateurs who fulfil those roles rather than just ignoring the picture editing or not having anyone fulfil the role of DOP. But this does often seem to be the case as far as sound design is concerned.

That's true.

I think here is where we need to make the distinction between the indie and amateur hobbyist types of filmmaker. Hobbyists make films for their own enjoyment ... because they enjoy filmmaking. However, no one enjoys every single aspect of filmmaking! An individual hobbyist may primarily enjoy being a camera operator or directing the actors' performances or some other role. It's generally the production phase that hobbyists seem to enjoy the most and therefore that is where the majority of their effort goes; either directly in the production phase itself or geared/aimed towards the production phase. IE., Pre-Production is minimised as much as possible and limited to the planning of the design and logistics necessary for the production phase to occur. Post-prod also tends to be minimised and is essentially the process of "showing off" the results of production phase to it's best advantage. All this is of course fine, I've got no objection at all to hobbyist filmmakers and it would hardly be a hobby if one had to spend almost all of one's time engaged in aspects of filmmaking which were not interesting or enjoyable. A problem arises though when experienced serious hobbyists want to differentiate themselves from the newbies or less serious hobbyists (and/or monetise their film) and instead call themselves indie filmmakers! I frequently hear the serious hobbyist/no budget filmmaking mantra of "we do the best we can with what we've got" but this is a self deceiving lie or at least a lie of omission. It's a lie because in practise "the best we can" is not actually "the best we can do" but the best we are prepared or willing to do! Or to put it another way, "what we've got" is limited not only by financial resources but by a lack of interest or desire in the detailed design, planning and implementation of ALL the film crafts, either individually or in combination. To make this mantra true rather than just hyperbole, we need to be asking exactly the same question that Coppola asked of Murch!

This is where it becomes tricky for me, because cinema has multiple forms, industries, and different kinds of audiences. Yes the hobbyist is different from the professional independent filmmaker, but I think they both are independent filmmakers because they make films that are produced outside of the studio system. There are many film movements that have filmmakers working with extremely low budgets and challenging what cinema is/can be, mostly within avant-garde cinema. To me, these are still films but they are a different kind of film. It's the same with your distinction between professional independent filmmakers and hobbyist/amateur independent filmmakers. I agree with it, but I would be careful to not have a narrow-minded conception of what film is. I think you're right that hobbyist filmmakers should try to make the leap and implement all crafts carefully if they want to become professional filmmakers.

It would of course depend on the filmmaker and the sound designer. Baring in mind that at the amateur, student, grad and even semi/low pro level, hardly any of those offering their services as "sound designer" actually have any knowledge or experience of designing film for sound. At the very low budget level, almost regardless of audio knowledge/experience one would have to think in terms of the "sound designer" as virtually a complete sound design newbie. So, there is certainly a lot of potential for foul-ups, for things not to work in practise how they were envisioned and the film to suffer. On the other hand, apart from maybe the odd rare or specific occasion, the actors' performances and the visuals in general have no opportunity to collaborate with sound and the sound editor/mixer very limited opportunity to aid the pace, flow and emotional response of the film, all of which leads directly to the usual public response to low budget indies as boring and uninvolving. As someone involved in the professional filmmaking industry, "boring and uninvolving" is THE cardinal filmmaking sin and I'd rather take the risk of fouling up the film by trying to avoid this sin than playing it safe and virtually guarantee committing it!

I agree. There certainly is problems due to costs but low-budget filmmaker should try their best to approximate a 'vision' that includes sound design even if they technically can't achieve it fully. I think that you're right, low-budget filmmakers have to take that risk. I hear a lot of low-budget filmmakers say that 'story is king' which I obviously disagree with for several reasons, especially aesthetically speaking. But more importantly, I disagree with it because it is technically wrong. No matter how good your story might be, it won't come through if you have unbearable sound and visuals, having at least a bare minimum of a decent standard of sound and visuals will actually make the film text readable in the first place. The ideal is to not just make the film text bearable to watch/listen to, but to make it enhance, amplify, counterpoint, somehow create an effect that contributes beyond the original text of the film. I think that creative visuals and sound alone are enough to carry genre films which can sometimes be purely formulaic stories even without variation that are still enjoyable to watch for general audiences. But of course this extend to every kind of film where visuals and sound can be used to create new meaning that moves beyond what you would get in reading a film script, the combination of all of these elements make for at least solid filmmaking which I think aspiring professionals should try to achieve if they want to have any sort of success in any film industry.

 

[FantasySciFi]

Thank you for your contributions and interest in this topic, MiniJamesW. You're off topic. Please repost your comments in the appropriate forum: Post Production or Music in Film. This forum is about the How-To of screenwriting. In those other two forums you will find others that share your interest and where it will be on topic. While I agree with the importance of sound in film and fully integrate that into screenwriting and production, it's not relevant here without concrete examples of how it would be written into a script. Most screenwriters do think in terms of sight and sound but there are restrictions in what can go inside a spec script. A shooting script is often different in that music licensing and sound effects have already been cleared by the producer and director. This is the wrong forum to discuss sound directors. You'll get more mileage in a forum that is devoted to sound and music in movies--the forums mentioned above. Cheers.

 

[MiniJamesW]

Thank you for your contributions and interest in this topic, MiniJamesW. You're off topic. Please repost your comments in the appropriate forum: Post Production or Music in Film. This forum is about the How-To of screenwriting. In those other two forums you will find others that share your interest and where it will be on topic. While I agree with the importance of sound in film and fully integrate that into screenwriting and production, it's not relevant here without concrete examples of how it would be written into a script. Most screenwriters do think in terms of sight and sound but there are restrictions in what can go inside a spec script. A shooting script is often different in that music licensing and sound effects have already been cleared by the producer and director. This is the wrong forum to discuss sound directors. You'll get more mileage in a forum that is devoted to sound and music in movies--the forums mentioned above. Cheers.

Will do, I didn't mean to hijack the thread, I just wanted to make a comment or two with APE. Thanks.

 

[AudioPostExpert]

Please repost your comments in the appropriate forum: Post Production or Music in Film.

How is a discussion on how a script is written and a film developed/pre-produced appropriate to a post-production or music forum? I would not say that MiniJamesW (or my) posts to this thread are entirely off-topic. Although they may be a little oblique in places, they do go to the heart of a potential answer to the OP: "Any tips on writing a script with only a few pages of dialogue?" and are also extremely relevant to the further statements by the OP: "The story is told from the perspective of an isolated man who chooses each word carefully." and "My concern grows from first time jitters as this will be my first writing/directing/self-funded endeavor. I'm hoping this will come off like more than a film school experiment."

This is the wrong forum to discuss sound directors.

Again, a Post-Production forum is, by definition not the place for a discussion of a process which occurs in development/pre-prod and which is concerned purely with the details in the script. So maybe you can point us to the appropriate indietalk forum to discuss the screen writing/editing/reviewing aspects of the Sound Designer's role during development/pre-production?

While I agree with the importance of sound in film and fully integrate that into screenwriting and production, it's not relevant here without concrete examples of how it would be written into a script.

It patently is relevant here! Look, I'm not trying to be insulting or deliberately confrontational just for the sake of it, I'm genuinely trying to provide some useful information both directly to the OP and to any other screenwriters who might be interested in developing a deeper dimension to their work. So, why don't we play this game the other way around? Why don't you, or to keep on topic of this specific thread, the OP post the script/scene in question and then I can make some suggestions aimed at maximising it's storytelling potential? I certainly don't profess to have all the answers but I'm sure the OP (and others) will discover something of interest from the process of thinking about a script from a different angle.

G

 

[FantasySciFi]

How is a discussion on how a script is written and a film developed/pre-produced appropriate to a post-production or music forum?

Talk about the script. Show me a script. Tell me how you would work with a screenwriter as a sound director. You haven't done that. You keep talking about the Sound Director working with the director or producer. THAT IS IRRELEVANT TO WRITING A SCRIPT. And as your nickname says "AudioPOSTexpert" you're most often called in after the fact. You've not contributed an iota to how to put sound or music into a script. Show me a script or take the discussion about sound directors to an appropriate forum about music and sound.

My comment to MiniJames was to ask about Sound Directors in a Sound/Music forum where he can have a more fruitful discussion with like minded individuals. Here not so much.

As for the OP's original question, did you provide any tips? All writers think about sound but that's often out of our hands. It falls on the director and producer. They may call in a sound director but that's NOT the writer's place. Not sure why that's not clear to you. Why you went off about how screenwriters don't think about sound? We think about it but it's not relevant to our part of the production process.

How specifically did you answer his question "on writing a script with only a few pages of dialogue?" Have you ever written a script? Maybe that's where you need to start. Don't go pontificating in areas which you have no idea. Write me a script fragment that includes your ideas of putting sound into the script, and I'll be attentive. As Einstein would hand the person a piece of chalk and say "Put your equations on the board", I need you to put your ideas into a script, so we can see what you're talking about. If you can't, then further discussion is moot.

Telling me about the importance of a sound director is about as relevant as the telling me the importance of the "dolly grip" or the "focus puller on camera 1". Yes, I might suggest a "dolly shot" or "push in" in my shooting script but it's not my responsibility as a writer to frame that shot. Especially not in a spec script which is what most screenwriters submit. Even in the shooting script, it's up to the DP and director to work with those crew to make it happen.

Are music and sound important in a movie? Yes. Should directors give it more attention when planning films? Probably. Does it impact the way the writer writes? Not so much. The music I hear in my head for a scene, never matches what gets put there. That's okay. I'm not allowed to write "Weeping violins set a somber tone as Jack looks back at Rachel's dead body." All I get to write is "Jack fights back a tear as he looks back at Rachel's dead body." Then it's up to the director to shoot the scene. Then the edited footage gets handed off to some sound guy to score, who ends up putting in percussion and woodwinds. It sucks to be a screenwriter and watch everybody screw up your perfect mental movie. (Except John Williams, he's welcome to score my movies.)

You're just another part of the production crew helping to realize the director's vision. For large films, it's often not even the same script which was written by the screenwriter but one that's been doctored. So which screenwriter are you speaking to?

Here's a fragment, demonstrate:

INT.  DOUG'S APARTMENT - DAY

Rachel walks through stunned as she looks at the pictures
of Doug and Jack on the wall--laughing at the beach, in 
football jerseys, standing beside a busty young woman in
a string bikini.

Jack walks into the living room and freezes.  Rachel stares
at him with hot, angry tears.

                       RACHEL
        You weren't going to tell me?

Jack moves towards her, hesitates, then reaches out but -

she pulls away.

                       JACK
        Would it have made a difference?

Rachel slaps him hard.  He doesn't turn back to face her
immediately.

                       JACK
        He didn't want you to know.  He -

                       RACHEL
        I'm pregnant with his baby!  Now I -

Rachel bursts into tears.  Jack moves to console her and
she tears away.

                        RACHEL
         Don't touch me.  Just get out.

Jack nods and walks past with his head hanging.

The door closes.

Rachel stands, clutching her chest, and looks out the
window.

Write me a script fragment showing me your ideas, how it can be done better, then we can have a proper discussion. Until then, it's just ego-driven drivel about the importance of the sound guy on set. Not appropriate to this screenwriting forum. Give me "woe is the poor screenwriter who is ignored by the director" and I may be sympathetic.

 

[AudioPostExpert]

Telling me about the importance of a sound director is about as relevant as the telling me the importance of the "dolly grip" or the "focus puller on camera 1".

The details of what the dolly grip or focus puller does is rarely, if ever, specified in a script, it's not the screenwriter's job. The same as it's not generally the screenwriters job to specify the details of what or how the Foley artists or SFX designers do. I'm not disputing or disagreeing with this but it has nothing to do with what I'm talking about!! I'm not talking about what exactly the SFX designers or any other member of the audio post dept do, just as you're not talking about what the individual members of the camera dept do. What you are talking about is ....

However, in terms of limited dialogue, the visual imagery needs to carry the story. David Mamet stresses that with all of his writers. And one test I use with how well a scene works, is to remove all the dialogue and see if the description/action statements convey the relevant story of the scene.

Why are you advocating (and quoting Mamet as advocating) thinking in terms of the visual imagery carrying the story? All the arguments you have made against sound and the sound designer apply equally to the visuals and the DOP:
1. All writers think about visuals but that's often out of our hands. It falls on the director and producer. They may call in a DOP but that's NOT the writer's place. Not sure why that's not clear to you.
2. We think about [visuals] but it's not relevant to our part of the production process.
3. Does it [the visuals] impact the way the writer writes? Not so much.
4. All the visual imagery is made and happens AFTER the script is written, in production and post-production and is "IRRELEVANT TO WRITING A SCRIPT".
5. Your statements should have been posted in the post-production forum where you could have a more "fruitful discussion" with individuals likewise interested in the visual imagery aspects of filmmaking.

You have advocated and advised the complete opposite of these arguments as applied to the visual imagery, how then can you logically apply them to the aural imagery?

All writers think about sound but that's often out of our hands. ...
We think about it but it's not relevant to our part of the production process.

Sound is patently NOT out of your hands! Scripts include details and descriptions of the scenes, so unless all your scenes are set in an anechoic chamber, with no physical action except for the dialogue which is communicated purely through sign language then as the screenwriter you are broadly defining the aural imagery (consciously or not!), just as your script also broadly defines the visual imagery. You obviously cannot detail all the specific elements of the sound design, just as you cannot specify every detail of camera angles, costumes, lighting, set design, etc.

Are music and sound important in a movie? Yes. Should directors give it more attention when planning films? Probably. Does it impact the way the writer writes? Not so much.

As I've said, sound does significantly impact the way some writers write (just as visual imagery can/does) but for the majority of screenwriters, as you say, "not so much". The difference between us is that I see this as a failing and you seem to see it as desirable!

I'm not allowed to write "Weeping violins set a somber tone as Jack looks back at Rachel's dead body." All I get to write is "Jack fights back a tear as he looks back at Rachel's dead body."

1. It's not generally the job of the screenwriter to specify the incidental music and nowhere have I stated or implied that it should be!
2. That's not all you get to write! In fact, the very first line of the fragment you posted (INT. DOUG'S APARTMENT - DAY) is already defining the sound design.

You're just another part of the production crew helping to realize the director's vision.

As is the DOP ... but this fact hasn't stopped you from advising screenwriters to write for the visual imagery to carry the story! Furthermore, from the outset you have confused the role of Supervising Sound Editor with that of the Sound Designer and despite my efforts, you continue to do so. The role of the Supervising Sound Editor is indeed to help realise the Director's vision. The role of the Sound Designer however, is initially to help the Director develop the vision in the first place and this part of the role is intimately related to the script and usually involves/necessitates some sort of script editing/revisions.

Have you ever written a script? Maybe that's where you need to start. Don't go pontificating in areas which you have no idea.

You are dangerously close to being a hypocrite! You don't even seem to know what the role of a sound designer is and yet you're pontificating on that role and where it belongs. Likewise, you're pontificating about thinking in terms of visual imagery when you're a screenwriter not a DOP! The most worrying thing about all this though, is your denial that sound has anything to do with screenwriting, while as a screenwriter you are the person responsible for broadly defining the sound design in the first place!! Despite this responsibility, you seem perfectly happy to remain uninformed of this aspect of screenwriting, even to the point of wanting to stifle any discussion of it. Does none of what you're saying appear the least bit absurd to you?

No, I have never written a script and no, that's not where I need to start, I'm a sound designer not a screenwriter. Most professional DOPs may never have written a script or wanted to (and that's not where they need to start either!), therefore any discussion on visual imagery has no place in a screenwriting forum ... correct?

Look, it's entirely up to you what sort of screenwriter you want to be, you can for example write scripts for the 1930's style of filmmaking (sound being a purely post-prod process), which is maybe not quite as absurd as it sounds because nearly all amateur and ultra-low budget filmmakers make films essentially this way. However, in this particular case that 1930's approach cannot work! For a film with little dialogue there are only a few alternatives; 1. To go even earlier and use the long commercially extinct format of the visually driven silent film. 2. A music driven film, essentially a music video or 3. Something driven more equally/collaboratively between visuals and sound design (and maybe music in certain places), like most of the great modern filmmakers. Whichever of these approaches is taken, it's going to affect the script!

As for the OP's original question, did you provide any tips?

Did you not read or understand any of post #15? Yes, it's generalised tips rather than specific details because the OP did not provide any specific details to work with but my tips were certainly less generalised than your advice!

Here's a fragment, demonstrate: ...

This fragment is not set in an anechoic chamber and does include both general sound design details and several more specific Foley details. You should re-write your script and eliminate those details, plus those details related to the visual imagery. Until you do, what you're stating is just ego-driven drivel and is Not appropriate to this screenwriting forum (because sound and visuals are created after screenwriting).

For large films, it's often not even the same script which was written by the screenwriter but one that's been doctored. So which screenwriter are you speaking to?

My apologies, I thought this was a forum covering screenwriting in general rather than a forum limited to the creation of first drafts ... first drafts which contain no references to any audio/visual events or locations. If this is the case, maybe we should also have a more general screenwriting forum? Maybe it should be a sub-forum within post-production?

G

 

[FantasySciFi]

No, I have never written a script and no, that's not where I need to start, I'm a sound designer not a screenwriter. Most professional DOPs may never have written a script or wanted to (and that's not where they need to start either!), therefore any discussion on visual imagery has no place in a screenwriting forum ... correct?

While your general points about the flushings of the toilet in an apartment were interesting if I were filming it, that's not a detail you would ever include in a script unless it was directly relevant to the plot's atmosphere (a comedy?). In which case, most writers would include it. We have 90-110 pages to put in the details to allow others to make the movie. Most shoots I've been on, we're busy trying to eliminate stray sounds that distract from scenes. If we need a sound, we capture it separately and it's added in post.

As I suspected, outside of your audio expertise, you've never been involved in the entire process--writing, shooting, directing, acting, sound, lighting, production. Since you've never written a script, I'm sure you've never held a camera. Most of the DPs I've worked with are very savvy about screenwriting; many have worked as ADs or directors on their own projects. A DP knows how to use the script to tell a visual story. The fragment would suggest to me ways of framing the shots and camera motions. And you're right, a screenwriter telling a DP how to frame a shot--with the exception of the shooting script--is not appropriate in a spec script unless the writer is also the director.

I would hope you've at least held a boom pole or worked a mixer. You know the difficulties of working with lavaliers and various sound set ups in live production. So you're right, with a big budget and access to a sound controlled environment, you can do wonderful things. That's not the reality for most independent producers and film makers. And it is certainly not a scriptwriting issue. My advice to new writers is the same I gave to you. I advise them to get involved on the set--help with the lighting and sound, take an acting class, learn to frame shots. That experience translates into a more profound appreciation of the film making process and better scripts. Screenwriting is an art and craft that draws upon all the senses. But one must be artfully concise when writing. Scripts are not novels. My role as a team player is to let other talented professionals--art director, sound designer, DP, actors and director-- do their jobs, not do their jobs for them.

As a writer/director, I gave you the benefit of the doubt and provide you an example. You were unable to demonstrate with the script excerpt. Further discussion is pointless. Thank you for your thoughts. Cheers

 

[AudioPostExpert]

While your general points about the flushings of the toilet in an apartment were interesting if I were filming it, that's not a detail you would ever include in a script unless it was directly relevant to the plot's atmosphere (a comedy?).

You've obviously completely missed the whole point! The whole point is not writing the sound of a flushing toilet sound into the script! The whole point was 1. An example of writing some generically distasteful sound, maybe literally "distasteful plumbing sound", maybe some other type of distasteful sound or maybe not a distasteful sound at all, maybe a pleasing, humorous, shocking, soothing, expensive or other type of sound AND 2. Just a sound to which the actor/s make some response (visual, verbal or both), a response which tells the story of the characters themselves, of their mentality, background, etc. This is not directly related to atmosphere and so you're saying you wouldn't write it into a script. Presumably you would either just leave it up to the actors to improv some dialogue in response or more likely you would just never use any aural storytelling devices in your scripts in the first place. Furthermore, you're ignoring the most important point I made (#3) about the sound design in scripts. As I said, it's entirely up to you if you wish to write scripts for a 1930's style of filmmaking but IMHO, that style of filmmaking is arguably the least appropriate of all filmmaking styles for a drama with little or no dialogue.

Most shoots I've been on, we're busy trying to eliminate stray sounds that distract from scenes. If we need a sound, we capture it separately and it's added in post. ...
I would hope you've at least held a boom pole or worked a mixer. You know the difficulties of working with lavaliers and various sound set ups in live production. So you're right, with a big budget and access to a sound controlled environment, you can do wonderful things.

Thanks for your "pontifications" on production sound, sound workflows and what is possible at different budget levels!

That's not the reality for most independent producers and film makers. And it is certainly not a scriptwriting issue.

If that's what you believe then don't make it a script writing issue, remove all the references to sound in your fragment and your scripts in general.

As I suspected, outside of your audio expertise, you've never been involved in the entire process--writing, shooting, directing, acting, sound, lighting, production. Since you've never written a script, I'm sure you've never held a camera.

Thanks for sharing what you suspected, which seems to be based on nothing more than unfounded guesswork. But, at least it's based on something, which is more than can apparently be said about your ignorance of sound design and how it can be used to tell a story!

Most of the DPs I've worked with are very savvy about screenwriting ... A DP knows how to use the script to tell a visual story. ... The fragment would suggest to me ways of framing the shots and camera motions. ... And you're right, a screenwriter telling a DP how to frame a shot--with the exception of the shooting script--is not appropriate in a spec script unless the writer is also the director.

Good arguments about the DOP, now apply those same arguments to the Sound Designer and you might start getting somewhere!! At the tiny budget and amateur filmmaking level you may not have come across an actual Sound Designer with the level of knowledge/vision you are attributing to DOPs with whom you've worked, does that mean you should ignore sound design in the script and/or in the rest of the filmmaking process? Discussing this question is exactly what MiniJamesW and I were doing and why it wasn't completely off-topic!

My advice to new writers is the same I gave to you.

Your advice in this thread has been to tell the OP to tell the story based on visual imagery alone and subsequently to state that audio imagery has nothing to do with this topic or screenwriting in general and any discussion of it should be removed.

I advise them to get involved on the set--help with the lighting and sound, take an acting class, learn to frame shots. That experience translates into a more profound appreciation of the film making process and better scripts.

I absolutely agree with this statement but it completely contradicts your prior arguments, to the point of hypocrisy! You apparently do not even know what a sound designer is or does, let alone have any experience of it. Worse still, you obviously don't want to know anything about it, even to the point of wanting to ban any discussion of it. Using your argument in it's inverse form: That lack of knowledge/experience translates into a more profound lack of appreciation of the filmmaking process and worse scripts! According to you though, worse (or at least, not better) scripts would apparently not be a screenwriting "failing".

My role as a team player is to let other talented professionals--art director, sound designer, DP, actors and director-- do their jobs ...

And how exactly do you plan to fulfil this stated role of letting a talented professional sound designer do their job, if you don't even know what their job is?! How do you know if what you're writing is actively helping them do their job, just letting them do their job or actively preventing/hindering them? The sad fact is that you don't *plan* to fulfil this stated role at all, because any *planning* of sound design has, apparently, nothing whatsoever to do with you!

Screenwriting is an art and craft that draws upon all the senses.

Except for hearing! ... Apparently characters aren't allowed to hear or respond to any sound except dialogue and any discussion of what they or the audience themselves might hear is likewise out of bounds. In film we're already limited to just two of the five senses with which to tell a story and you're advocating the view that one of those two remaining senses should have nothing to do with screenwriting?!

As a writer/director, I gave you the benefit of the doubt and provide you an example. You were unable to demonstrate with the script excerpt.

That also is a lie and you know it! As a screenwriter you should know the difference between the words "unwiiling" and "unable". You should maybe also learn to read! Nowhere in this thread have I stated that I was a script writer or that I would write a script and, the OP was not asking for someone to write a script for them, only for tips on how to write the script. You rightly pointed out the screenwriter's role as a team player, what I am providing are tips/thought processes/an approach aimed at aiding this aspect of the screenwriter's role. An aspect of screenwriting which is particularly pertinent in the OP's case, where the story cannot be driven by dialogue.

Now, if you want to provide an example scene, containing all the relevant information, with the aim of maybe learning/discovering something about how to fulfil your role as a team player and letting the other talented professionals do their job, then I'm willing to contribute. But, if all you want to do is demand that I actually do your job for you and write the scene myself, just so you can prove how much more you know about the technical aspects of screenwriting, then obviously that's a complete waste of everyone's time and nothing more than your own personal ego trip, which is certainly off-topic!

Further discussion is pointless. Thank you for your thoughts.

Further discussion does indeed seem increasingly pointless. I would thank for your thoughts too but that would be hypocrisy on my part because your thoughts have been more of a hindrance than of any use, unless the OP is actually planning on making a film in a 100+ year old style.

G

 

[Editor]

There is a Film Festival called the 100 Words FIlm Festival. Only if you film has precisely 100 words does it qualify. Rewrite and draft it to do so and you have a guaranteed screening!!!