archived-videos My new short Film

Rich0 said:
I made this film for pennys and with only a three person production team so please don't expect a masterpiece. Critique would be highly appreciated :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-oiMaOju7g.
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Well done on creating a short. A good concept. Story wasn't bad.

The lead male actor wasn't a disaster and I quite liked the older guy although the girl's look wasn't quite right.

However, I kept getting pulled out whenever the picture was wobbling around, became too dark or was strangely composed, the sound fluctuated wildly etc... Every time that happens, I jump out of the film and disengage. Which was all the time, unfortunately.

I don't think big bucks are necessary to shoot a good short. As an idea, I talked to an Oscar nominated DoP and the crux is that it is possible to shoot something amazing with skill, even if you don't have an Arri Alexa. In fact, I've seen good shorts short on iPhones.
 
I liked the wobbling camera as it fits the story and character. If this was a film about something uplifting or of a different theme then the wobbly camera wouldn't fit. Even if it wasn't intentional I think it suits.

The wide shot of the tree was great. I think the strongest elements of this short are the scenes not in the psychiatrist's office. I think at the end the main character should have strangled the psychiatrist a bit earlier, perhaps as soon as he started to touch him by the door.

But overall I liked this short.
 
sfoster said:
Making excuses before people even see it.. does not inspire an audience
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Well if you look through my earlier posts the last film I posted had an extremely negative response due to people expecting the film to be of a minimum standard. I didn't want that to happen again.
 
PhantomScreenwriter said:
I liked the wobbling camera as it fits the story and character. If this was a film about something uplifting or of a different theme then the wobbly camera wouldn't fit. Even if it wasn't intentional I think it suits.

The wide shot of the tree was great. I think the strongest elements of this short are the scenes not in the psychiatrist's office. I think at the end the main character should have strangled the psychiatrist a bit earlier, perhaps as soon as he started to touch him by the door.

But overall I liked this short.
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It wasn't intentional. It was 2 degrees and my hands were like ice :p
 
Rich0 said:
Well if you look through my earlier posts the last film I posted had an extremely negative response due to people expecting the film to be of a minimum standard. I didn't want that to happen again.
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Ah yes the flip side of the equation.
Maybe say something good about it at the same time. IDK
 
There's a reason to not discredit your work. If you were to tell people "hey, my film is crap!", who wants to watch it? In the real world, nobody is going to listen to excuses. Some random movie watcher doesn't care if your hands were cold or you had a small production team. Get used to people watching your movies with a clear mind and no pre-determined ideas of if it will suck or rock.
 
ChimpPhobiaFilms said:
There's a reason to not discredit your work. If you were to tell people "hey, my film is crap!", who wants to watch it? In the real world, nobody is going to listen to excuses. Some random movie watcher doesn't care if your hands were cold or you had a small production team. Get used to people watching your movies with a clear mind and no pre-determined ideas of if it will suck or rock.
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Fair enough
 
Hi, sorry to dig up an old thread. Could I get any more feedback on this film. I'm considering remaking it with more crew. What changes could I make to get this good enough to get into a regional film festival (Other than the aforementioned feedback suggested already in this thread.)

Cheers :)
 
Nice work.

Pretty much what Gorilla and Phantom said as far as the content and production. I think I'd light the opening scene where he's looking into the mirror differently, more. Might also try out different angles. I might try cutting in a close-up shot from the mirror's perspective. And you might try using a tripod to avoid that shakiness.

Good luck!
 
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