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critique Motormouth, a short script I’d appreciate critique on

Next time, export the Celtx file to a pdf. Then upload the pdf to Google drive and post the link.
That way you don't screw up the formatting.

It reads like a scene from a longer piece. Not horrible but certainly not great either.

Also, people don't address each other by name that many times in a single conversation. And why 5 shots for 2 guys?
 
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