Alternate ACT III:
Execution
'Acceptable Alternative' ending.
They didn't get what they thought they wanted (the bomb detonating), but perhaps they got something else better (die as friends instead of enemies).
2012 04 02 07:40 UPDATE
I think after the rest of the terrorist crew and situation have been identified last member will be infiltrator BATF Ben in the house's bathroom desperately trying to get his microphone transmitter wire to work.
He's calling for the BATF team to come in, assault the compound immediately, his sabotage of the truck has been discovered, a fix is on the way, and the bomb will be delivered in less than two hours.
Later, his sabotage of the bomb is discovered and it's element removal, after a big argument vs. cancelling the event, is what leads to Al's death.
I'm considering introducing a little estrogen into the equation. While assisting Al in removing the element charge to the back yard she is also blown up.
2012 04 02 07:45 UPDATE
Ben's calling for the BATF team to come in, assault the compound immediately, his sabotage of the truck has been discovered, a fix is on the way, and the bomb will be delivered in less than two hours, target's unknown!
2012 04 02 10:45 UPDATE
I'm trying to think of roles Al, Ben, Cole, and Dan have within their organization.
Cole is the sort of strong arm organizational leader.
Dan the sympathetic technician with bomb making duties.
Al is the martyr without a clue with mechanic duties + original driver.
Ben... I'm having difficulty with. Maybe just muscle, but that seems rather flaccid. I'd prefer a more critical role.
Fia/Fi will be the team's spiritual source, a guy's girl, everyone's and no one's. Her loss from the explosion is... less pragmatic than Al's loss.
Without a driver Ben volunteers, but Cole chooses Dan.
ACT I, Here's the Situation
- Al and Ben return to the house where Cole, Dan, and Fi announce that due to changes in circumstances plans have been changed, the target will be changed (the three are still debating the new one) and the time frame has been moved up to today; in less than two hours, actually.
- Ben realizes both all the scope out work his BATF partners have been engaged in are now wasted, he has no idea of what the new target is, and that his transmitter may not be working because all of this wasn't supposed to happen today and no one is ready or in place - the mic is just supposed to be recording today! But maybe someone is listening.
ACT I, It Just Got Worse
- Ben breaks off the battery lead to the minivan's battery terminal while Al was checking under the hood and others moving bomb parts into the minivan; this is his first sabotage.
ACT II, First Lesson
- Cole gives Al a hard time about not being thorough mechanically inspecting the van, there's no room for this kind of error.
- Al can't explain how he missed it, figures Dan's bomb rigging skills broke it off. This will be a blue collar vs. white collar argument. Fi mediates.
ACT II, Second Lesson
- A) While hauling the removed component out back Al tells Fi that he suspects someone in the group...
- Ben excuses himself to the bathroom, again.
- B) While rewiring the bomb Dan suspects someone is tampering with the van and bomb, he get's Cole's attention...
- Ben's desperately trying to get the microphone transmitter to work.
- A) ... is deliberately tampering with the van and bomb.
- B) ... but before Dan can express his concern with Cole...
- A) ... the component detonates.
ACT II, Third Lesson
- While finishing up the bomb and rechecking everything Cole asks what was it Dan was about to say before the explosion?
- I don't know if Ben getting severely injured should be a pure accident or deliberate because Cole and Dan figured out it was Cole sabotaging the van and bomb. I really want them to accidentally discover that Ben's a spy/mole for the government while assisting him with his severe injuries. The irony being that while trying to help the guy that's trying to get them caught they find a reason to kill him. Hmm...
2012 04 02 10:53 UPDATE
I'm thinking I want it to be Cole that accidentally injures Ben. The irony being that minutes earlier Cole was berating Al about being careful and now he's just accidentally done something bad himself.
Ha-ha-ha. Shut up, mutherf#cker! Cast the first stone and all.
ACT II, Third Lesson
- Cole and Dan come to the conclusion that it was Al who was messing things up. The irony being despite all the evidence pointing in one direction the truth is sometimes in another.
2012 04 02 10:56 UPDATE
And I'm going to change the replacement driver for Al from Dan back to Ben. THEN Ben gets injured, then dead. Back to you, Dan! Ha!
2012 04 02 14:14 UPDATE
LOL! Watching 'Mirror, Mirror' with my daughter home from school with illness, and I can't help but to rethink this horrible tale in much the same way as Tarsem Singh has: A dramedy!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_Mirror_(film)
The obvious route to go with this would be the cliché working poor environment, but what if it went the opposite direction?
A very nice estate home, charming dialog, and fabulous wardrobe!
PG13?
Could this be a PG film?
2012 04 02 15:33 UPDATE
Title it 'Terror! Terror!'
2012 04 02 17:33 UPDATE
I'm also strongly considering do-si-do-ing Fi and Cole's roles.
It'll keep the male/female thing running longer, however it's very difficult to maintain a non-sexual male/female relationship.
Sometimes the audience gets p!ssed that they DON'T become a couple.
Sometimes the audience just wants a good male/male buddy movie.
A male/female buddy movie is about impossible to pull off.
I might have to rotate the Al+Fi explosion to the 'Oh, No!' spot, but that creates a ton of other structural flow problems just to keep the female aspect running longer.
Much easier to rotate roles than story points.
Execution
ACT III
SECOND CONSTRAINT, Solution! The last terrorist standing departs the garage to deliver the bomb.
SECOND CHALLENGE - Dan's gotta get the bomb to the event (festival/parade/ball game/whatever)
Build to Outcome - Dan loads up mortally wounded Cole into the passenger's seat, departs
Build to Outcome - ???
Outcome Achieved! The bomb fails to detonate (Cole's fault), Dan's too injured to fix it, Dan and Cole agree to forgive each other, both die friends again.
SECOND CHALLENGE - Dan's gotta get the bomb to the event (festival/parade/ball game/whatever)
Build to Outcome - Dan loads up mortally wounded Cole into the passenger's seat, departs
Build to Outcome - ???
Outcome Achieved! The bomb fails to detonate (Cole's fault), Dan's too injured to fix it, Dan and Cole agree to forgive each other, both die friends again.
They didn't get what they thought they wanted (the bomb detonating), but perhaps they got something else better (die as friends instead of enemies).
2012 04 02 07:40 UPDATE
I think after the rest of the terrorist crew and situation have been identified last member will be infiltrator BATF Ben in the house's bathroom desperately trying to get his microphone transmitter wire to work.
He's calling for the BATF team to come in, assault the compound immediately, his sabotage of the truck has been discovered, a fix is on the way, and the bomb will be delivered in less than two hours.
Later, his sabotage of the bomb is discovered and it's element removal, after a big argument vs. cancelling the event, is what leads to Al's death.
I'm considering introducing a little estrogen into the equation. While assisting Al in removing the element charge to the back yard she is also blown up.
2012 04 02 07:45 UPDATE
Ben's calling for the BATF team to come in, assault the compound immediately, his sabotage of the truck has been discovered, a fix is on the way, and the bomb will be delivered in less than two hours, target's unknown!
2012 04 02 10:45 UPDATE
I'm trying to think of roles Al, Ben, Cole, and Dan have within their organization.
Cole is the sort of strong arm organizational leader.
Dan the sympathetic technician with bomb making duties.
Al is the martyr without a clue with mechanic duties + original driver.
Ben... I'm having difficulty with. Maybe just muscle, but that seems rather flaccid. I'd prefer a more critical role.
Fia/Fi will be the team's spiritual source, a guy's girl, everyone's and no one's. Her loss from the explosion is... less pragmatic than Al's loss.
Without a driver Ben volunteers, but Cole chooses Dan.
ACT I, Here's the Situation
- Al and Ben return to the house where Cole, Dan, and Fi announce that due to changes in circumstances plans have been changed, the target will be changed (the three are still debating the new one) and the time frame has been moved up to today; in less than two hours, actually.
- Ben realizes both all the scope out work his BATF partners have been engaged in are now wasted, he has no idea of what the new target is, and that his transmitter may not be working because all of this wasn't supposed to happen today and no one is ready or in place - the mic is just supposed to be recording today! But maybe someone is listening.
ACT I, It Just Got Worse
- Ben breaks off the battery lead to the minivan's battery terminal while Al was checking under the hood and others moving bomb parts into the minivan; this is his first sabotage.
ACT II, First Lesson
- Cole gives Al a hard time about not being thorough mechanically inspecting the van, there's no room for this kind of error.
- Al can't explain how he missed it, figures Dan's bomb rigging skills broke it off. This will be a blue collar vs. white collar argument. Fi mediates.
ACT II, Second Lesson
- A) While hauling the removed component out back Al tells Fi that he suspects someone in the group...
- Ben excuses himself to the bathroom, again.
- B) While rewiring the bomb Dan suspects someone is tampering with the van and bomb, he get's Cole's attention...
- Ben's desperately trying to get the microphone transmitter to work.
- A) ... is deliberately tampering with the van and bomb.
- B) ... but before Dan can express his concern with Cole...
- A) ... the component detonates.
ACT II, Third Lesson
- While finishing up the bomb and rechecking everything Cole asks what was it Dan was about to say before the explosion?
- I don't know if Ben getting severely injured should be a pure accident or deliberate because Cole and Dan figured out it was Cole sabotaging the van and bomb. I really want them to accidentally discover that Ben's a spy/mole for the government while assisting him with his severe injuries. The irony being that while trying to help the guy that's trying to get them caught they find a reason to kill him. Hmm...
2012 04 02 10:53 UPDATE
I'm thinking I want it to be Cole that accidentally injures Ben. The irony being that minutes earlier Cole was berating Al about being careful and now he's just accidentally done something bad himself.
Ha-ha-ha. Shut up, mutherf#cker! Cast the first stone and all.
ACT II, Third Lesson
- Cole and Dan come to the conclusion that it was Al who was messing things up. The irony being despite all the evidence pointing in one direction the truth is sometimes in another.
2012 04 02 10:56 UPDATE
And I'm going to change the replacement driver for Al from Dan back to Ben. THEN Ben gets injured, then dead. Back to you, Dan! Ha!
2012 04 02 14:14 UPDATE
LOL! Watching 'Mirror, Mirror' with my daughter home from school with illness, and I can't help but to rethink this horrible tale in much the same way as Tarsem Singh has: A dramedy!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_Mirror_(film)
The obvious route to go with this would be the cliché working poor environment, but what if it went the opposite direction?
A very nice estate home, charming dialog, and fabulous wardrobe!
PG13?
Could this be a PG film?
2012 04 02 15:33 UPDATE
Title it 'Terror! Terror!'
2012 04 02 17:33 UPDATE
I'm also strongly considering do-si-do-ing Fi and Cole's roles.
It'll keep the male/female thing running longer, however it's very difficult to maintain a non-sexual male/female relationship.
Sometimes the audience gets p!ssed that they DON'T become a couple.
Sometimes the audience just wants a good male/male buddy movie.
A male/female buddy movie is about impossible to pull off.
I might have to rotate the Al+Fi explosion to the 'Oh, No!' spot, but that creates a ton of other structural flow problems just to keep the female aspect running longer.
Much easier to rotate roles than story points.
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