logline Logline

[sebru]

Hi guys, as cracker funk suggested in a previous post, i will upload my logline here:

A school teacher begins to doubt his sanity when strange things happen to him and his class on a school field trip.

My film is in the genre of drama/horror.

If anyone is interested in reading the script I can email it.

cheers

 

[Padnar]

I feel it is ok ,but to make it more crisp I would suggest
A school teacher doubts his sanity , as strange things happen to him and his class on a field trip
padma

 

[Ccolebrook]

I would avoid using words like 'Strange things happen'

It totally leaves me in the dark, and not in the good way where I'm interested and guessing. Give us the specific conflict that make the script an interesting read in just a few words.

 

[JumperCableFilms]

Yeah, loglines can be tough. A lot of information in a few short words.

I second both reactions.

Best to avoid any "start to"s or "begins to"s whenever you seem them, whether in a logline or in a script. Automatic waste of words.

I would also get specific with "strange things happen", and even on what type of field trip it is. What subject does the teacher teach? We need details to grab us, to pin compelling images and concepts in our minds.

A history teacher taking a class of 6th graders to the museum is loads different than...

A HS science prof taking a group of seniors to an island.

Loglines are tough, but a great exercise. They can help distill your entire script into a clear and compelling situation with plenty of inherent drama and intrigue, and often can open your eyes to problems with the overall script.

Best of luck!