archived-videos Kopmītnes / The Dorm (Short Film)

Jnkvcs

Jnkvcs

Schizophrenic short film about a girl staying alone in the university dorm at a weekend. She starts to experience some inexplicable and mysterious phenomenons like time travels. There is also rumors about a guy who fell down the dorm stairs and died a few years ago.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMGRPYA7cTk
This is my first DSLR short film and I'm new to this stuff. If you have any advice let me know, I'm open to constructive criticism.

Software:
Adobe Premiere Pro CS3
Adobe After Effects CS3

Equipment:
Canon EOS 550D
Tamron 28 - 75mm lens
Helios 44M lens
Jupiter 9 lens
M42 lens to Canon EOS adapter
Manfrotto 701HDV video head
Fomei Alumin 400 tripod
DIY camera slider
 
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The lead is hot, AND you have her reading Vonnegut! Awesome.

I like the film. I don't know why you gave everything away in the description?? The twist ending was too obvious after your description. I still like it though.:)
 
I'm not very creative, so I can't give any constructive criticism, but the short was pretty good. The ending was weak, but it was still good.
 
Jnkvcs said:
This is my first DSLR short film and I'm new to this stuff. If you have any advice let me know, I'm open to constructive criticism.
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LOL! I think we have more to learn from you than you from most of us. This might be the most technically competent video I've seen in this forum. It's almost hard to believe this is your first shot.

I'm surprised at how much I liked the image. I usually don't like the DSLR look. I guess folks aren't wrong they talk about skills rather than camera.

All in all that's a great solid piece of work. I'm looking forward to watching more of your stuff.
 
i liked it. I think that you could've come up with something better than falling down the stairs as a form of death but i'll take it. 6.5/10
 
TheNoob said:
I'm not very creative, so I can't give any constructive criticism, but the short was pretty good. The ending was weak, but it was still good.
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I disagree, endings, especially in shorts (from what I've written, tried to write, and helped with) can be very tricky, and I thought this was very clever. I was very impressed by the whole thing
 
samwagner1000 said:
I disagree, endings, especially in shorts (from what I've written, tried to write, and helped with) can be very tricky, and I thought this was very clever. I was very impressed by the whole thing
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I guess it depends on how you view films. You can compare his film to other short films, or you can compare it to films in general, or mix and blur the lines between them.

I mix and blur some lines. I guess I just have a different standard for short films than you. Either way I thought the short was good.
 
Technically its one of the best I've seen on this forum but script could have been much better.Decent attempt though. :)
6/10
 
That's pretty cool! Looks outstanding!

I have to be honest, though, the narrative is confusing. If it weren't for your synopsis, in this thread, I would've been lost.
 
Cracker Funk said:
That's pretty cool! Looks outstanding!

I have to be honest, though, the narrative is confusing. If it weren't for your synopsis, in this thread, I would've been lost.
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Same if i didn't read the spoiler i would've been lost. I think that the time tavel transition should be underlined. Perhaps if you added a commercial or a person or a picture on the wall in the hallway showing that it's a different time period like a hippie walking around hahaha. The B&W touch is good but it's not enough
 
It looks fairly nice, although the twist was definitely not that shocking after your description of the piece (though unrelated to the actual plot, it still had me questioning the things she was seeing enough to make them not at all shocking). As others have said too, you need to make a more coherent plot within the film and not rely so much on explaining it all in the description - I to feel like without the description I would have been completely lost as to what was happening.

Then again, the whole thing had a sort of Triangle like feel to it (a good film, I'd recommend watching it).

For a first short film it was pretty well done, though the audio at points seemed fairly off (thought often this can't be helped, it definitely needs to be worked on in future shorts or perhaps cleaned up in post-production, because static should almost never be heard. The problems with the audio were emphasized the most within the dialogue scene - the quality of the audio changed between the two people talking, and it manages to pull me out of the scene and seem fairly ill-done at the same time.

I think the plot seemed fairly forced too. In the first few lines the girl just randomly talks about someone that died there (apparently), and then her friend leaves and all of a sudden wacky occurences everywhere and then time travel, etcetera. Again, I'll refer to the film Triangle to get a good grip on the pacing required for that sort of thing (not a perfect film, but it's still very nice).

Overall though it was a good piece, and has a lot of potential! I'll look forward to seeing more from you!
 
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