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Indecision.

R

RaymondLeggs

I have a premise. But I cant seem to decide what kind of story I want to tell around it. I did a draft almost 8 years ago and it was too much like the manchurian candidate. It had over 50 characters and several subplots and it was HORRIBLE!

The Premise is, Theres something in the Hold of the Sunken HMHS Britannic, that the Bad guys want, Main Charachter has to stop them by Raising the Rusting hulk, before the bad guys get the doomsday element and destroy a peice of history to do so!

I had an Idea for a version called 20,000 Leagues Raise Britannic, The Villain was captain nemo, of course and it had elements of 300..

I had another version that was like chronicle, with assassins that can make guns fly. Wrote a treatment for that one, main bad guy isn't seen until around what would be the last 30 mins of the movie. It was written as a pilot for a trilogy.

I had nother idea that was like Oceans 11, I wrote a treatment for this on paper and there were NO major plot holes, not much action though

Also had an idea for a sherlock holmes, meats dylan dog type version.
 
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To be honest, I think you might start by stripping everything to the bare bones. You have several ideas which, frankly, I can't see how they could be related.

1. a. There's something in the hold of the sunken HMHS Britannic
b. the bad guys want it
c. the main character has to stop them by raising the rusting hulk
d. before the bad guys get the doomsday element and destroy a
piece of history to do so!

2. "Manchurian Candidate" but too many subplots and characters. --> make it a book!
3. "20,000 Leagues Raise Britannic" - the villain (Capt. Nemo) with elements of "300".
4. "Chronicle" with assassins that can make guns fly.
5. "Oceans 11" with not much action.
6. "Sherlock Holmes" meets "Dylan Dog".

All of your ideas seem to revolve around the fantastic but the main reason you reject them is they are too complex to actually make, if I understand you. Maybe you need to focus on choosing the most interesting to you and work at cutting out the unneeded segments to streamline your plot.

You really only want two, at most three active subplots. You can have more than that all together, but for viewers to follow, you should only add a new one when one has been ended. Layering plots takes a degree of planning that most screenwriters prefer not to do. They often take a very linear, Hero's Journey approach and simply add the "romance subplot" or "revenge for slight subplot" as the secondary undercurrent. Two or three subplots allows for my dynamic action. More than that can be a headache.

In your shoes, I'd lean toward #3 or #6. Good Luck!
 
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I'm kind of attracted to Premise 1. Not sure where it would go or what kind of feature film it would make in this day and age. Maybe one part action-adventure, one part suspense-thriller, and one part romantic drama? This has been in the news again lately. What if it had something to do with the Spanish Influenza? Oh, I see that the Britannic sank in 1916. Oh well anyway.

Anyway, good luck and keeeeep writin'!
 
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Maybe I need to rethink the movie form the premise on down, or maybe the charachters and what they want. I have two unrelated villains. One's a tough guy. One's a jilted friend who is a wimp. Kind of like a wimpy version of Chris Mintz platz's character in kick ass. main character is a thrill addicted thief/con/card counter.

should I add a third antagonist?

I have a subplot about some incriminating documents along with the fictional (2 billion or over) dollars worth of gold in todays money, in the ship's hold. It implies that the British govt was paying the germans for some reason through out the war. Haven't sorted it out yet.
 
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I think I may have to move onto something else. I don't think there will ever be a story to make this work. The heist version might be okay I guess to start out with.

The action adventure version would be too big. since I would have wanted it to be like Serenity or raiders of the lost ark. I guess I could do it. But nah.

The Insomnia/The invisible style version I had planned was too depressing. Plus the Britannic thing was a footnote in the whole story.

Premise. After the Britannic is raised it is bought to new york harbor, where it is to be cleaned, restored and repainted. An old soviet Agent insists something is in the cargo hold tha tis valuable to russia. A document that will damage the reputation of several allied countries.
In the hold they find the body of a diver. Turns out it may be a doppleganger of her sisters freind.

Her sister's friend is beaten and left for dead. her soul travels outside her body, and only the main charachters sister can see her. they try to find her body so she can reunite with it and possibly help find the killer (s). And solve the mystery of the russian agent.

Sounds cool doesn't it?

Maybe I could make the 60's Homage action heist movie version too? I like the heist movie better since it will have a retro vibe to it. Lots of story then action at the end, smart action.

Since the heist movie has no plot holes is this the best bet?
 
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