I'm reading this script, and ...

W

WriteumCowboy

It would never make it through the maze of an unknown writer trying to get someone in Hollywood to read it. The first 7 pages are descriptive action sequences over a period of time and with NO dialog. Dialog starts on page 7.

It's 132 pages long.

There are 20 "Cut to:" 's in the first 12 pages.

There are loads of "FRONT ANGLE.CU. "PROTAGONIST'S" FACE", WIDE ANGLE, THE SCREEN GOES BLACK

There are no descriptions of the characters.

Quite a few, "we see"'s in the descriptive narrative.

"Protagonist is now sitting with a nice, mild mannered man:"

The writer uses characters such as "OLDER MAN(50S), YOUNG MAN (AROUND 15), MAN, ANOTHER MAN, MARRIED MAN, WOMAN, etc.

Oh, by the way. This writer, who is also the Director, has a very good, or even impressive, resume on IMDB. As a director, he is said to be one of the most up and coming directors as of today.

By the way...the script is very enjoyable to read and looks pretty damn good after just 18 pages. Good for the writer, cause if I tried that (and I have) I get ripped a new one by the script analyzers, screenwriting teachers and critics.

I have the script because I'm auditoning for a bit part.

Guess Wm.Goldman was right....."nobody knows nothing".

I just keep thinking about the Hollywood readers who would dump the script after the first couple of pages. They would have missed a good script in what is looking like a great story.

Well, at least it's greenlighted, has a well know director and an Oscar winning actor attached to start.
 
Last edited:
Sort by date Sort by votes
"We see" seems to be used even in Hollywood shooting scripts, when what we see is especially crucial to the story, or a big suprise...any other time is freakin' redundant. Now is this thread dun or wot?
Click to expand...

Sure, but if you think this thread is actually about the use of "We See" then you've missed the point -- which would explain the "collegial" jibe.

What Bebblebrox and I have been doing is using this debate to demonstrate how use of language effects intensity and pace in a screenplay.

Neither of us actually gives a damn about how "We see" is used in screenplays -- if you actually go back over the thread and view it from the POV of someone who is still trying to understand why screenplays are written in a particular way, instead from your existing perspective of someone who knows, you'll see that this thread is in practial terms a highly effective tutorial on screenplay language.

It would be a mistake to assume that we're just a couple of dumb crackers knocking heads for the sake of it -- we're both way smarter than that and both equally passionate about new screenwriters having the best possible information.

Conflict is the heart of a good screenplay and an entertaining thread -- but like in the movies, the conflict isn't always what it appears to be.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0 Downvote
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top