archived-videos I'm desperate for critique on my short

philosofilmer said:
Amidst some tape loss and damage
Click to expand...
Ironic, considering the ending. Nice short.
Now, in the end, when the camera hits the ground, you can see film unraveling from the daylight spool. But when they roll away they are empty. I believe they were supposed to be empty the whole time right? So was that film a mistake?

PS. Love the score.
 
philosofilmer said:
Hello all...I just finished post on a short flick I filmed a little bit ago. Amidst some tape loss and damage,
I managed to piece together my story. It's not perfect but I would love to hear some critical feedback... thanks

http://blip.tv/file/1191317
Click to expand...

I liked it very much. The music was very good, and the acting was great.
If anything is 'bad' about it, it's the guys in suits...I mean the real guys in suits, will never get it! I think anyone with a creative streak will understand the premise though!

Good job, and welcome to the site.

Chris
 
I always enjoy visual storytelling -- this was very well done. The music was good with how it meshed with the scenes. The use of repeating camera techniques, like the broad sweeps across the artists, helped reinforce the changing moods -- as if the viewer gets lost in the world of art.

I also thought it was cool how the filmmaker was able to
use his Jedi powers to dodge the flying briefcase from behind!

Great job overall!
 
indietalk said:
Now, in the end, when the camera hits the ground, you can see film unraveling from the daylight spool. But when they roll away they are empty. I believe they were supposed to be empty the whole time right? So was that film a mistake?
Click to expand...

I took that
(the disappearance of the film)
as being somehow symbolic of the whole struggle.
How art once existed but ends up empty once captured and affected by big business.
 
John@Bophe said:
I took that
(the disappearance of the film)
as being somehow symbolic of the whole struggle.
How art once existed but ends up empty once captured and affected by big business.
Click to expand...
Yeah I knew the empty reels were symbolic, but when they first flip out you can see film for a split second. Just wondering if that was planned.
 
It looked good and i like the idea of the story but it seemed to be missing sound effects in a few different places and that pulled me out of the experience. I had to ask myself if they were missing or if it was intentional to many times. At first I was thrown off by the lack of sound in the chase region but then I said ohh it’s supposed to be a music only scene. Right when I said that to myself, the main character hit the trash can and it made noise.

few of the sound effects had a bit of a canned sounded to them (the film rolling on the pavement for example), did you use a pre made library of sounds? I loved the music, it fit really well. Overall very well done.
 
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