I've taken the video down. Thanks.
Last edited:
-
READ BEFORE POSTING!
- If posting a video, please post HERE, unless it is a video as part of an advertisement and then post it in this section.
- If replying to threads please remember this is the Promotion area and the person posting may not be open to feedback.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
watch Illation *First Short*
- Thread starter Rfiermonte
- Start date
The acting from the big guy at the start is pretty good. His lines seem natural and the dialogue is good.
I wasn't crazy about the shaky camera in the first few moments, especially juxtaposed with the extremely still shot of the guy tied up. They looked sort of funny together.
I think I understand what you were going for though; you probably wanted a half circle tracking shot type of move and didn't have the right equipment to do it, such as a wheel chair or something.
Also, at around the 2:10 mark I could see your lighting equipment. I made this mistake once and actually I've caught reflections of my own camera before. I'm still getting better at this as well so just be more careful next time.
It was a nice film considering it was your first. Good job. Keep making them and practice.
--Swanpond
I wasn't crazy about the shaky camera in the first few moments, especially juxtaposed with the extremely still shot of the guy tied up. They looked sort of funny together.
I think I understand what you were going for though; you probably wanted a half circle tracking shot type of move and didn't have the right equipment to do it, such as a wheel chair or something.
Also, at around the 2:10 mark I could see your lighting equipment. I made this mistake once and actually I've caught reflections of my own camera before. I'm still getting better at this as well so just be more careful next time.
It was a nice film considering it was your first. Good job. Keep making them and practice.
--Swanpond
Bigger guy, great acting. Smaller guy was meh, but decent.
your Director of Photography/camera operator is terrible. (if you are the one behind the camera, no offense)
The editing was rather poor.
The lighting was purely ambient, and you chose bad location for ambient light. You need lights, badly.
There are multiple occasions where you can hear things interacting with the body of the camera reverbarating(spelling) on the camera mic.
The chase scene and the cuts/cinematography were really bad.
Is there any music? Do you have a composer? You could also use some overimposed sound effects for the weapon firing and striking the guy on the ground.
All that negativity being said, I think you have a lot of potential.
You created something.
You orchestrated a production, so you have managing skills.
You got a lot of work ahead of you though.
If you would be interested in any collabs, I think we could make a good crew, as I am highly proficient in most of the areas you are lacking.
cheers.
outfade@hotmail.com
your Director of Photography/camera operator is terrible. (if you are the one behind the camera, no offense)
The editing was rather poor.
The lighting was purely ambient, and you chose bad location for ambient light. You need lights, badly.
There are multiple occasions where you can hear things interacting with the body of the camera reverbarating(spelling) on the camera mic.
The chase scene and the cuts/cinematography were really bad.
Is there any music? Do you have a composer? You could also use some overimposed sound effects for the weapon firing and striking the guy on the ground.
All that negativity being said, I think you have a lot of potential.
You created something.
You orchestrated a production, so you have managing skills.
You got a lot of work ahead of you though.
If you would be interested in any collabs, I think we could make a good crew, as I am highly proficient in most of the areas you are lacking.
cheers.
outfade@hotmail.com
I think everything I wanted to say was mentioned.
Except for the handling noise. You need a decent boompole, and sone cotton gloves. ASAP. The handling noise was insane.
Except for the handling noise. You need a decent boompole, and sone cotton gloves. ASAP. The handling noise was insane.
hey i thought it was very good for a first effort (no, i don't give praises easily). here are some thoughts:
** you are really showing a wonderful ability to manipulate time and space (no director is ever good without these two skills). first, by showing the bound hands in shots and then a handheld camera fixed only the kidnapper, you did a good job of creating a unique cinematic space that i dont find in many film-makers (especially maturing ones); secondly, your ellipses from the kitchen to the chase scene is daring and very good (many will disagree with this but watch Antonioni's movies - his films are famous for precisely these ellipses, especially l'aventura. oh, you should have just gone with your instincts and never placed that title about the escape - the movie would have been better); thirdly, the edits between the hands delivering blows to the kidnapper and to the victim on top (and then repeated) was very good and the most polished part of the film : you displayed a nice sense of rhythm (again, no great film-maker is complete without this sense of visual rhythm).
here are some thoughts on how to improve: think in terms of mood (because it can add considerably to a scene, especially when acting is not very persuasive): how will you set up the scene? maybe show the bound hands in rapid shots with blackness and screams in between or breaking china or a struggle, etc; maybe use a very fast panning shot of the attacker's POV rusing through the house with a counter-rhythm of beautiful classical music in the background. also think about how your characters will look in these situations: is the victim bloodied, does he have broken glasses on his face, can he even look up or is he afraid of looking at his attacker? these are just a few hints but try to find creative ways to set up your actors in each scene.
as mentioned earlier, music would have done wonders. try to find someway to incorporate music creatively (either as background or in the scene - attacker turns on the radio, etc). music adds rhythm and mood to a scene so don't hesitate to use it but remember a scene can also be very effective with silence (i think your chase scene would have been very effective, a dreamy type of scene, had it been almost silent until the end).
next to last, use lighting creatively. your use of natural light and then a brief moment of silhouettes was good but try to find something thematic about your choice of light. for instance, you might use natural light to show just how banal, ordinary, and common the characters are.
lastly, you displayed good instincts in going from a claustrophobic indoor scene to a fast outdoor scene. without making it more obvious, try to accentuate the claustrophobia or some other feature of the indoor scene and likewise for the outdoor scene.
overall, very impressed with a first effort. you have excellent cinematic instincts. good luck and please post future films
** you are really showing a wonderful ability to manipulate time and space (no director is ever good without these two skills). first, by showing the bound hands in shots and then a handheld camera fixed only the kidnapper, you did a good job of creating a unique cinematic space that i dont find in many film-makers (especially maturing ones); secondly, your ellipses from the kitchen to the chase scene is daring and very good (many will disagree with this but watch Antonioni's movies - his films are famous for precisely these ellipses, especially l'aventura. oh, you should have just gone with your instincts and never placed that title about the escape - the movie would have been better); thirdly, the edits between the hands delivering blows to the kidnapper and to the victim on top (and then repeated) was very good and the most polished part of the film : you displayed a nice sense of rhythm (again, no great film-maker is complete without this sense of visual rhythm).
here are some thoughts on how to improve: think in terms of mood (because it can add considerably to a scene, especially when acting is not very persuasive): how will you set up the scene? maybe show the bound hands in rapid shots with blackness and screams in between or breaking china or a struggle, etc; maybe use a very fast panning shot of the attacker's POV rusing through the house with a counter-rhythm of beautiful classical music in the background. also think about how your characters will look in these situations: is the victim bloodied, does he have broken glasses on his face, can he even look up or is he afraid of looking at his attacker? these are just a few hints but try to find creative ways to set up your actors in each scene.
as mentioned earlier, music would have done wonders. try to find someway to incorporate music creatively (either as background or in the scene - attacker turns on the radio, etc). music adds rhythm and mood to a scene so don't hesitate to use it but remember a scene can also be very effective with silence (i think your chase scene would have been very effective, a dreamy type of scene, had it been almost silent until the end).
next to last, use lighting creatively. your use of natural light and then a brief moment of silhouettes was good but try to find something thematic about your choice of light. for instance, you might use natural light to show just how banal, ordinary, and common the characters are.
lastly, you displayed good instincts in going from a claustrophobic indoor scene to a fast outdoor scene. without making it more obvious, try to accentuate the claustrophobia or some other feature of the indoor scene and likewise for the outdoor scene.
overall, very impressed with a first effort. you have excellent cinematic instincts. good luck and please post future films
Last edited: