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Idea for a screenplay

dexterreid123

dexterreid123

I've been thinking of writing a script based on this concept that I thought was very unique and was wondering if you guys could give me your opinions on it. Attached is a file that contains some information on the plot and characters. If anyone has any ideas please reply or send me a personal message. I'll give a brief description here and if you are interested please see the file.

Janey is 16 when her mother dies of lung cancer. She was very close to her mother and is forced to live with her father who had left her mother when she was 3. Her father does not pay attention to Janey and her stepmother is abusive and hates Janey. She becomes depressed and drawn back and only can find comfort in Kloe, a drug addicted girl at her school. As drugs and depression ruin her life, she finds comfort in her childhood with her mother. More specifically Alice in Wonderland, her favo(u)rite childhood book that her mother used to read to her. She begins to hallucinate characters from the book and her dead mother and loses all that was left of her sanity.

That's all I'm going to show for now. Please seethe file if you want to know more and reply or send a personal message to me if you are interested in it or have any suggestions for the plot line.

File Download: http://speedy.sh/CeBXj/WONDER-GENERAL-GUIDE.docx
 
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seems like a lot of inward gazing. A screenplay is not the best medium for that kinda of writing. Novels are good for inward gazing stories.. but there are plenty of film example to the contrary.

Just keep in mind that film is about visual story telling. That said, Id keep away from trying to make the hallucinations an important visual feature of the story. If you do, keep em simple, like "Johnny Darko" or "A Beautiful Mind" rather than "Alice' or other complete fantasy stories.
 
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wheatgrinder said:
seems like a lot of inward gazing. A screenplay is not the best medium for that kinda of writing. Novels are good for inward gazing stories.. but there are plenty of film example to the contrary.

Just keep in mind that film is about visual story telling. That said, Id keep away from trying to make the hallucinations an important visual feature of the story. If you do, keep em simple, like "Johnny Darko" or "A Beautiful Mind" rather than "Alice' or other complete fantasy stories.
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I think you mean Donnie Darko. And the way I view the movie the hallucinations weren't hallucinations but had actually happened but that's beside the point.

I'm not planning on making the hallucinations play a huge role in the film visually but characters from Alice will appear in her mind, but not be clear as hallucinations in the film. I don't know if I explained that properly but picture the hallucinations from Black Swan.

The movie is also mainly focusing on the girl's spiral into darkness similar to movies like Requiem for a Dream.

Thanks a lot for the feedback.
 
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