From what I gather in screenwriting books, it's a common mistake to start writing the screenplay before you have a good title + logline + synopsis. I think of this as the 3x combo. Therefore, I'm not starting before I get feedback on my project. I see this as a drama/action/comedy.
Title: The Pedophile Crusher
Logline 1: When a pro MMA fighter’s daughter is kidnapped and killed by a powerful pedophile ring, he will do anything to avenge her.
Logline 2: As a pro MMA fighter’s daughter is kidnapped and killed by a powerful pedophile ring, he has a mental breakdown. He must break out of the high security psyche ward, run by the sadistic doctor that ordered the kidnapping, and avenge his daughter.
Synopsis (498 words): Life is good for Thor Thorson. As a happy father of a 5-year-old daughter, an appreciated teacher at the local elementary school, and a skilled MMA fighter – Thor is kicking ass on a daily basis.
On the way home from the local animal store, Thor gets caught in the doorway as four men rush out of a van with tinted windows and grab his daughter. Thor explodes through the door and drops the first man like a sack of potatoes. He fights off the other guys, but must rush his daughter’s lifeless body to the hospital.
As he finds out she was dosed with the short acting sedative Propofol – and is going to be okay – the police on site disappear around a corner with his daughter. A chase through the hospital leads to a car chase, and his daughter dies on impact when colliding with a large truck.
Thor loses his mind and is commited to a high security psyche ward, run by the sadistic doctor that ordered the kidnapping of his daughter. As a drugged up Thor manages to save a young girl from being raped by the doctor twice, he and his newfound hippie hacker friend – Bob – manages to escape with the girl.
The girls dad – a retired vet – is so thankful he wants to help them out with all his gear and military equipment. Bob uses his hacking skills to break into the doctors phone, and see that the next kidnapping target is a student of Thor. They show up with all their gear and proceed to kill the van guys and demolish their van.
High on adrenaline, they go to a strip club and party hard. Right as Thor bonds with a stripper he’s seen before, the police raid the place with a big SWAT team. Thor, Bob, the old man and Thors stripper friend is arrested. They put Thor alone in the cell and start to beat on him. The other three, chained to a radiator in the main room, start to make so much noise people outside peer through the windows.
After much commotion, the police realize they are out of options and let them go. After getting their stuff, they come back, break in through the fire exit, kill the police, and free Thor.
They are met by the FBI, who isn’t happy, but agree to not charge them as long as they tell them everything they know. They did, after all, risk their lives taking out an evil pedophile ring. Thors only demand is that he gets the doctor. They go to a local MMA show and sign them up to fight. The announcer introduces Thor as “The Pedophile Crusher”, and the pot-bellied doctor as “The Serial Child Molester”. Thor beats him into the ground.
Thor gets his class back. A year later, Thor is 7-0 in professional MMA. Bob, the old man, and Thors stripper friend is there to cheer him on.
Title: The Pedophile Crusher
Logline 1: When a pro MMA fighter’s daughter is kidnapped and killed by a powerful pedophile ring, he will do anything to avenge her.
Logline 2: As a pro MMA fighter’s daughter is kidnapped and killed by a powerful pedophile ring, he has a mental breakdown. He must break out of the high security psyche ward, run by the sadistic doctor that ordered the kidnapping, and avenge his daughter.
Synopsis (498 words): Life is good for Thor Thorson. As a happy father of a 5-year-old daughter, an appreciated teacher at the local elementary school, and a skilled MMA fighter – Thor is kicking ass on a daily basis.
On the way home from the local animal store, Thor gets caught in the doorway as four men rush out of a van with tinted windows and grab his daughter. Thor explodes through the door and drops the first man like a sack of potatoes. He fights off the other guys, but must rush his daughter’s lifeless body to the hospital.
As he finds out she was dosed with the short acting sedative Propofol – and is going to be okay – the police on site disappear around a corner with his daughter. A chase through the hospital leads to a car chase, and his daughter dies on impact when colliding with a large truck.
Thor loses his mind and is commited to a high security psyche ward, run by the sadistic doctor that ordered the kidnapping of his daughter. As a drugged up Thor manages to save a young girl from being raped by the doctor twice, he and his newfound hippie hacker friend – Bob – manages to escape with the girl.
The girls dad – a retired vet – is so thankful he wants to help them out with all his gear and military equipment. Bob uses his hacking skills to break into the doctors phone, and see that the next kidnapping target is a student of Thor. They show up with all their gear and proceed to kill the van guys and demolish their van.
High on adrenaline, they go to a strip club and party hard. Right as Thor bonds with a stripper he’s seen before, the police raid the place with a big SWAT team. Thor, Bob, the old man and Thors stripper friend is arrested. They put Thor alone in the cell and start to beat on him. The other three, chained to a radiator in the main room, start to make so much noise people outside peer through the windows.
After much commotion, the police realize they are out of options and let them go. After getting their stuff, they come back, break in through the fire exit, kill the police, and free Thor.
They are met by the FBI, who isn’t happy, but agree to not charge them as long as they tell them everything they know. They did, after all, risk their lives taking out an evil pedophile ring. Thors only demand is that he gets the doctor. They go to a local MMA show and sign them up to fight. The announcer introduces Thor as “The Pedophile Crusher”, and the pot-bellied doctor as “The Serial Child Molester”. Thor beats him into the ground.
Thor gets his class back. A year later, Thor is 7-0 in professional MMA. Bob, the old man, and Thors stripper friend is there to cheer him on.
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