I wrote this screenplay and have been trying to get it produced. Please tell me what you think of it. I need as many reviews and feedback as possible. Thanks so much. (BTW- It is in PDF format)
cmill216 said:I wrote this screenplay and have been trying to get it produced. Please tell me what you think of it. I need as many reviews and feedback as possible. Thanks so much. (BTW- It is in PDF format)
I suggest downloading sophocles (www.sophocles.net). I love this software!Your character names and dialogue is centered... A big NO-NO.
Looks like you're using a flashback but again, not formatted or used correctly.
"On the Nose" dialogue. People in love telling each other
how much they love one another. A woman who's angry because her husband is
cheating on her and also because her father did just the same thing to her
mother and she knows that she's repeating the same pattern -- SAYING to
somebody how she's angry because her husband is cheating on her and also
because her father did just the same thing to her mother and she...etc.,
etc., etc.
In real life, people who talk about themselves and their feelings and their
problems all the time are crashing bores. It shouldn't be surprising that
the same kind of people in a script are equally boring if not more so.
No subtext or purely dialogue-driven scenes. You have the characters
blurt out what might better be expressed in some other way or perhaps
just hinted at. Showing is almost always better than telling in movies.
A good maxim is to only add dialogue as a last resort. Movies where you
can turn the sound down and still get the gist of what's going on are
normally well written and acted.
Do a quick Word Search of your script. If the words "because," "since,"
"that's why" show up in your dialogue, chances are you're in trouble.
By "on the nose" I mean the characters are
saying exactly what the writer wants the reader to know. Often this
takes the form of naked exposition, where one character simply lays out
facts to another character. "On the nose" is also used to describe
dialogue where characters say precisely what they mean, especially in
emotional situations. In good dialogue, a character's meaning is
implied by what he says -- or implied by what he does NOT say.