Yeah, the fonts are all over the place + their application is all over the place + the grammar has issues.
- Headline displays have all primary words capitalized, not sentences.
-
Ellipsis are three dot/periods, not four, unless at the end of a sentence.
- It is a sentence, so it requires a period.
"In the beginning... there was the darkness."
You might want to consider centering the two lines, as well.
- Again, don't cap everything in the sentence, just proper nouns.
- Don't put commas where they don't belong.
- A proper sentence needs a period punctuation.
- Visually you'll want to maintain the consistent text style throughout any piece, limiting fonts and their applications to two.
- There's no need or benefit to using more than a single font here.
- Use the same font.
- Use the same point size.
- Maintain the same left/right/centered justification.
- Use the same color.
- Use the same drop shadow or other effect.
"Then the great mother Artemis created light."
- This is the big drama kicker.
- It's centered, so center everything prior to it and everything following it.
- Maintain that same font, regular or bold, color, effects, etc.
- This is not a sentence requiring no punctuation.
- I'd use the same font size, as well, since "LATER" alone carries no emphatic meaning beyond the obvious.
"14 billion years later"
Image-wise:
- IMO the red cloud segment goes on a bit long and could be trimmed.
- And there's some wackiness going on with the asteroids.
