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How to display reading off a text and then speaking?

M

mmkp1990

Hi,

I have a scene in my script where a person who cannot speak uses her phone for communication by texting on her phone and then showing the text the person she is communicating to. The other person reads the text and then responds.

My question is what is the best way to tackle this in a screenplay? I have done it like below but I am not sure if there is a much better, simpler way.


Code: 
---

JOSH (V.O.)
Is she ignoring my question?

Alex shows the phone screen to Josh to read her answer.

(text)
Indian.
JOSH
Indian… why did you text your answer on your phone?

Alex texts again and shows her phone screen to Josh.

(text)
How else am I supposed to answer?
JOSH
What do you mean? You can just tell me.

Alex is confused towards Josh. She looks down and covers her face with her hand.

JOSH
What? What’s wrong?

Alex texts…

(text)
Did you read my whole profile on the dating site?
JOSH
Come to think of it… no I didn’t. I just read the first paragraph.

Alex shakes her head as she texts.


(text)
Then you missed the part where I mentioned I’m a mute.
JOSH
Huh? Wait! That means… you can’t speak?

---

Thanks
 
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mmkp1990 said:
Hi, I have a scene in my script where a person who cannot speak uses her phone for communication by texting on her phone and then showing the text the person she is communicating to. The other person reads the text and then responds.

My question is what is the best way to tackle this in a screenplay? I have done it like below but I am not sure if there is a much better, simpler way.
Click to expand...
Code: 
Josh watches as Alex types on her phone.  He shakes his head when

Alex shows the phone screen to Josh.

ALEX'S PHONE TEXT:  "Indian"

                           JOSH
       Indian.  I'm standing here, you know.

Alex looks with surprise at Josh before she looks down and 
covers her face with her hand.

                           JOSH
       What? What’s wrong?

Alex texts again and holds it out.

ALEX'S PHONE TEXT:  "You read my dating profile?"

Josh stares sheepishly and shakes his head.

                            JOSH
       I saw your picture and just skimmed
       the first paragraph. I meant ...

Alex shakes her head as she texts on her phone.

ALEX'S PHONE TEXT:  "I'm mute."

He shoots a slight smile.

                            JOSH
       I'm terrible at dinner conversation anyway.
                 (a beat)
       Look.  Do you dance?
Above is how I'd re-imagine the conversation. Be careful, though, as your original crosses the line of what is internal and should be left to the actor. Also when I text, I try to be very brief. Alex would never go into that much detail. Also it contained a lot of redundant verbiage that I trimmed for the dialogue above.

ALEX: "How else am I supposed to answer?"
JOSH: "What do you mean? You can just tell me."

Focus on the emotion and cut to the chase. I mean, she's mute. She knows it and has accepted that. She's embarrassed and pissed he didn't read her profile. Let the actress show that anger. Let the actor show his confusion. It doesn't have to be spoken.

It's all kind of uncharted territory as we enter into new technology with holographic displays and what not. I'm going out on a limb here. Dialogue is usually reserved for what is spoken/heard. Just be consistent. If necessary,
Code: 
INT.  ALEX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Alex is on the couch texting on her phone.  

JOSH'S TEXT REPLY:  "I saw Tim at bar."

ALEX'S PHONE TEXT:  "Josh, I told him to watch Lisa!"

JOSH'S TEXT REPLY:  "Guess he dropped her off."

Alex drops the phone as her face scrunches in anger and 
she curses in sign language.  She takes a deep breath
and retrieves the phone and types.

ALEX'S PHONE TEXT:  "Could you go check on her?"
...
 
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