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How is this script for a short film project?

Basically for a short film project, I thought I would shoot and direct just one scene from a larger script, as practice. But how is the scene on it's own, for practice to attract others to want to make as well?


INT. PUB -- DAY

Sheila plays pool with two of the gang members. A WAITRESS comes
over with a tray of drinks, as she hits a ball in the pocket.
But they remain serious while playing.

WAITRESS
Here you go, hon.
She tries to hand a drink to Sheila. She doesn't accept.

SHEILA
I didn't order anything.

WAITRESS
It's just soda. It's from the
genetlemen over there.

The waitress points out Guy, across the room. Sheila sees
him comes over.

She turns away and heads for the bar, before Guy can speak --
He goes after her --

GUY
I just need to get your statement...Please.

Sheila signals to the bartender, but she is busy -- Sheila
walks away, to the exit. He walks ahead of her.

SHEILA
Let me guess... They sent you because
they think that since you rescued me
that I feel like talking to you more?

GUY
Something like that. Look, I know
you don't want to relive what
happened, but you seem to be taking
it better now. It would really help
if you come in and give a statement.

SHEILA
(interrupts)
What do you expect me to do, go on
being traumatized and depressed? I
have nothing to say to you. I told
you people already, I'm not
testifying.

She tries to walk around him but he blocks her.

GUY
Alright, look, if you don't give me
statement, we can subpoena you to
testify before a preliminary hearing.
So you might as well.

The two gang members observe in concern. Gang Member 1 comes
over to her.

GANG MEMBER 1
Why don't you leave her alone. Hasn't
she been through enough?
Guy ignores him and gestures for her to walk outside.

Sheila walks ahead of him, and he follows, unproud... The two gang members look at each other, concerned.



What do you think?
 
if I should drop him and get someone else, then I can, if that's best.
That's what you took from that post. Maybe you are a creep.

I could just send him email saying I will have to go with someone else.
If you're going to fire someone, grow a pair and do it properly. Most reasonable people talk to them first. Explain the issue. If there's no middle ground that is suitable, **** them off.

But your reply is a good example. You're too much face palm.

H44: how do you decide what to eat for dinner?
If I gave you 2 weeks notice, do you think that'll be enough?
 
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