http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cx0985PzZu4
The story of a boy who witnesses a crime, and the killer behind it
The story of a boy who witnesses a crime, and the killer behind it
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archived-videos Heroes Die-Crime Drama-8mins
- Thread starter Hajiman
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Probably your best film that I've seen so far.
You start strong, the camera movement is better, the color grading is more subtle, and the acting is better. Sound and editing are good as well.
But the character's response to the situation didn't seem very realistic. Why didn't he call the police? Why would he open the door? Those two things didn't make much sense to me. The pacing is slow as well. You need to speed things up a bit.
But anyway, great job! I hope to see more from you
You start strong, the camera movement is better, the color grading is more subtle, and the acting is better. Sound and editing are good as well.
But the character's response to the situation didn't seem very realistic. Why didn't he call the police? Why would he open the door? Those two things didn't make much sense to me. The pacing is slow as well. You need to speed things up a bit.
But anyway, great job! I hope to see more from you
Thanks for the comment, The point about the characters response is very true, its quite a bit plothole, but I do feel that the pacing is ok, I think that if it was any faster it wouldnt allow for any tension to build
Due to the character's unrealistic response, the audience is reminded they are just watching a movie. Which takes away the tension. Also, films don't have to be slow to have tension. Creating a realistic environment and characters the audience cares about, then putting those characters in deadly situations creates tension. Slow pacing doesn't help it.
Anyway, I'm over thinking it. It's a good short, and I don't want to discourage you.
I hope to see more from you in the future
Who runs away to a couch? Haha that made me laugh.
You should have had him close the door and stand there breathing heavily behind it. Guy comes up while he is still standing there, says unlock this door right now or I'll shoot you through it.
Then during the dialogue, the killer was fidgeting with his gun the whole time. I didn't like that. What I would have done was had the gun set down somewhere. The hero claiming he wasn't going to say anything the whole time, he didn't see anything and doesn't stick his nose into trouble. Then as the beats change in the dialogue, he realizes what he has to do.. someone has to stand up to this killer. He starts eyeing the phone. the killer starts eyeing his gun.
use the phone and gun as characters.
You should have had him close the door and stand there breathing heavily behind it. Guy comes up while he is still standing there, says unlock this door right now or I'll shoot you through it.
Then during the dialogue, the killer was fidgeting with his gun the whole time. I didn't like that. What I would have done was had the gun set down somewhere. The hero claiming he wasn't going to say anything the whole time, he didn't see anything and doesn't stick his nose into trouble. Then as the beats change in the dialogue, he realizes what he has to do.. someone has to stand up to this killer. He starts eyeing the phone. the killer starts eyeing his gun.
use the phone and gun as characters.
Sometimes unrealistic responses work in movies, are are relative depending to the audience member. I thought that Die Hard had some unrealistic responses in, and that's considered to be one of the best action movies ever made.
However, this response just may be too unrealistic. I also did not get the villains motivations, and why he would give the good guy his gun at all.
However, this response just may be too unrealistic. I also did not get the villains motivations, and why he would give the good guy his gun at all.
and then offer him a job killing people right after he demonstrated that he doesn't have it in him to kill
That's kind of the point, the "villain" has it wrong, hence why the other boy says "I'm nothing like you". The interaction with the boy shows the villain just how wrong he has gotten his life, which prompts him to turn against his boss. But you are right, the initial response to "run to the couch" is pretty unrealistic. That's a really good idea sfoster, the whole eyeing the gun and the phone would have worked really well.