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Help with descriptions?
- Thread starter Lenny
- Start date
I'm gonna assume that by "description" you mean "action."
A bit of advice - less is more.
Use dynamic action verbs and simple sentences - Lenny HAMMERS away at the keyboard.
When it's unnecessary to say it - He glances at the screen. Goes back to typing. - don't say it. This one's my biggest hurdle, because I write it like I see it, every beat, every movement. A script doesn't need that, it just needs the core actions.
I'd recommend "The Screenwriter's Bible." It's worked wonders for me.
Poke
A bit of advice - less is more.
Use dynamic action verbs and simple sentences - Lenny HAMMERS away at the keyboard.
When it's unnecessary to say it - He glances at the screen. Goes back to typing. - don't say it. This one's my biggest hurdle, because I write it like I see it, every beat, every movement. A script doesn't need that, it just needs the core actions.
I'd recommend "The Screenwriter's Bible." It's worked wonders for me.
Poke
Write what is essential, not every detail. Here is something Christopher Keane wrote in one of his books. It should help you understand scene descriptions.
Before:
EXT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - NIGHT
A Victorian house with great columns and a weedy front yard sits on a street filled with nicer homes. The paint is chipped, and the windows need washing. The front porch has steps missing, and an old rusted swing stands on the front lawn, which hasn't been mowed in years. It's a disgusting place, from years of neglect, and a place badly in need of repair. The widow's walk looks as if it will tumble down any minute, and you'd swear there were bats fling around in the moonlight.
Rewrite:
EXT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - NIGHT
Once majestic, gone to seed, the house is bathed in eerie moonlight.
Hope the helps.
Before:
EXT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - NIGHT
A Victorian house with great columns and a weedy front yard sits on a street filled with nicer homes. The paint is chipped, and the windows need washing. The front porch has steps missing, and an old rusted swing stands on the front lawn, which hasn't been mowed in years. It's a disgusting place, from years of neglect, and a place badly in need of repair. The widow's walk looks as if it will tumble down any minute, and you'd swear there were bats fling around in the moonlight.
Rewrite:
EXT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - NIGHT
Once majestic, gone to seed, the house is bathed in eerie moonlight.
Hope the helps.
Seems to me you're on the right track Lenny. I let it go. I write as much as possible to get my meaning across. Anything to get the story out of my head and savable in some format.
Going back and cutting is the key. Lot's of books to help you with that but I'll second Poke's bible suggestion.
I don't think there's anything wrong with letting is all hang out for six, seven, nineteen lines of action as long as you know enough to go back and cut it.
Going back and cutting is the key. Lot's of books to help you with that but I'll second Poke's bible suggestion.
I don't think there's anything wrong with letting is all hang out for six, seven, nineteen lines of action as long as you know enough to go back and cut it.
Thanks everyone. Can you put stuff like: David pauses and scratches his head. or David shakes his head and looks dejected. Is that getting into directing the actor? When I have a string of dialogue I feel like I need to insert stuff like that to get the mood. Should I or is that a waste?
It all depends...
If you're making it yourself, then write as much as you want... The more you know about your story and characters, the better...
Boz is correct though...
GET IT ALL OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND ONTO THE PAGE!
If you need a half page to describe a character or location, so be it. That's simply first draft completeness and will TOGGLE your brain back to your vision when you come back on your second, third, and fourth drafts and cut like hell.
You can be really surprised at how much you can cut and STILL get your vision across as long as you have it there on the page FIRST.
So, if this is your first draft, don't worry so much about details like these... Write it the way you see it. You can be brutal on the next few passes... LOL.
Good luck with it.
filmy
You don't say if this is a spec script of something you're going to do yourself... If it's a spec, I would keep things like "looks dejected" to an absolute minimum. Here and there is okay to really get the point you're trying to make across to a reader.Lenny said:
If you're making it yourself, then write as much as you want... The more you know about your story and characters, the better...
Boz is correct though...
GET IT ALL OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND ONTO THE PAGE!
If you need a half page to describe a character or location, so be it. That's simply first draft completeness and will TOGGLE your brain back to your vision when you come back on your second, third, and fourth drafts and cut like hell.
You can be really surprised at how much you can cut and STILL get your vision across as long as you have it there on the page FIRST.
So, if this is your first draft, don't worry so much about details like these... Write it the way you see it. You can be brutal on the next few passes... LOL.
Good luck with it.
filmy
I'm with filmy on this one. When I read screenplays by other writers I often can't follow the action because there isn't enough information for me to visualise what's happening.
The rule I use for the first draft is to imagine that I describing the film to somone on the phone and that they only have my description to go on.
In terms of specifics I tend not to put in things like "Steve looks dejected and shakes his head," because I know from experience that actors hate being told how to react to the situation. Instead I tend to write things like "Steve is clearly devastated by the news." This gives the emotional content and allows the reader to imagine the scene, it gives the actor the emotional context, but allows the actor and director to interpret the scene their own way.
The rule I use for the first draft is to imagine that I describing the film to somone on the phone and that they only have my description to go on.
In terms of specifics I tend not to put in things like "Steve looks dejected and shakes his head," because I know from experience that actors hate being told how to react to the situation. Instead I tend to write things like "Steve is clearly devastated by the news." This gives the emotional content and allows the reader to imagine the scene, it gives the actor the emotional context, but allows the actor and director to interpret the scene their own way.
Thanks everyone...this is helping. This is a spec script.
I have the Screenwriter’s Bible and it helps a lot, but it seems to contradict a few things my Final Draft software does. The Bible says don’t use (cont’d) when dialogue is broken up then continues and my Final draft does that automatically. Also it says to triple space between scenes and FD only doubles or at least it looks like double space. It’s kind of confusing on what to do.
I have the Screenwriter’s Bible and it helps a lot, but it seems to contradict a few things my Final Draft software does. The Bible says don’t use (cont’d) when dialogue is broken up then continues and my Final draft does that automatically. Also it says to triple space between scenes and FD only doubles or at least it looks like double space. It’s kind of confusing on what to do.
formatting...
LOL. Don't let that stuff bother you...
You should be able to go into Final Draft and reset the formatting to get rid of the cont'ds... In fact, you might want to figure that out NOW and set all your margins appropriately as well as all the formatting areas. I once wrote a screenplay that came out to 150 pages until I saw that I had neglected to set the top and bottom margins... LOL. Once I did, my page count soared to 162 pages... Didn't make me happy at all. LOL.
What you really don't want to do is write everything and then find out you had everything set up incorrectly. Knocks the wind right out of you.
As for triple or double spacing between scenes... Either is appropriate although more and more screenwriters are double spacing. Triple spacing is more OLD SCHOOL. I start out using triple spaces and that's the first thing I can change when I'm finished and BAM! My page count is automatically lowered without me having to cut anything... Kind of a false sense of security... LOL.
So you might triple space NOW and then you can always cut it to DOUBLE when you're finished, thereby cutting quite a few pages off your count...
Good luck with it!
filmy
Lenny said:
LOL. Don't let that stuff bother you...
You should be able to go into Final Draft and reset the formatting to get rid of the cont'ds... In fact, you might want to figure that out NOW and set all your margins appropriately as well as all the formatting areas. I once wrote a screenplay that came out to 150 pages until I saw that I had neglected to set the top and bottom margins... LOL. Once I did, my page count soared to 162 pages... Didn't make me happy at all. LOL.
What you really don't want to do is write everything and then find out you had everything set up incorrectly. Knocks the wind right out of you.
As for triple or double spacing between scenes... Either is appropriate although more and more screenwriters are double spacing. Triple spacing is more OLD SCHOOL. I start out using triple spaces and that's the first thing I can change when I'm finished and BAM! My page count is automatically lowered without me having to cut anything... Kind of a false sense of security... LOL.
So you might triple space NOW and then you can always cut it to DOUBLE when you're finished, thereby cutting quite a few pages off your count...
Good luck with it!
filmy