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Had an idea for a film...input?

I recently came up with an idea for a film a few months ago. It's extremely rough and I don't have the entire story constructed out yet, but I was hoping you guys could keep me your opinion on it. It's like an homage to the teen films of the 80's with a modern twist to it.

It's about a teenager who has basically nothing going for him. He's very scrawny and weak, and has a very low self-esteem. He has never met his father, and his step-dad is very abusive and brings him down on a weakly basis. He has a crush on this girl who is in one of his classes, but she's dating the soccer-team captain (a real douche-rocket) One day he goes to a garage-sale and sees a Super Nintendo for a great price. He buys it and the games that go with it. He has a blast playing all of his old favorite games. After getting his fill, he reaches down to the bottom of the box and finds a plain looking game cartridge that has nothing on it except "for the experienced". He's curious and puts the game into the system. All of the sudden, he becomes hooked to the screen, and starts playing ferociously. (The game itself is like a black-market underground version of Mortal Kombat) He keeps playing and playing, until finally reaching the last level, and before he can beat it, the game shuts off. His mind goes crazy. He frantically tries to bring the system back to life. He tries unplugging the system and plugging it back in. As he does this, the system electrocutes him and he goes unconscious. He wakes up the next morning, feeling fantastic. He gets ready for school, and goes to the bus stop. As he waits for the bus to arrive, he sees two kids bullying a much younger kid. He tells the other bullies to stop, but they don;t listen. He opens up a can whoop-@ss on the two bullies and helps the innocent kid out. He comes to realize that the game gave him the fighting abilities used in the game.



That's all I got right now. I'm sorry to have taken more time than I intended too. I've got A LOT to work on. I just wanted some advice from pros like you guys.
 
I'm certainly no pro, but that sounds like the premise for Spider Man, just with a Nintendo instead of a radioactive spider. What you have is not a plot, it's a premise. Figure out what the real story is going to be about and work your premise into it. Spider Man is a coming of age story about an awkward teen (Peter Parker) who has to come to grips with a life altering event (his new powers). Think of the story in broad strokes. Try to put the central theme of the movie into a single sentence (log line) then go from there. Who is going to be the primary antagonist? What challenges will the protagonist face on his journey? Is this a hero's tale, a coming of age, or a love story? At this point, you have more questions than answers.
 
i like it yo
you should email the Mortal Kombat people and see if you can name the game Mortal Kombat Death Edition. I would watch your movie over and over again if it was that haha
 
I'm certainly no pro, but that sounds like the premise for Spider Man, just with a Nintendo instead of a radioactive spider.

Can't help but agree there, such resemblance, there's so many movies out there with the same/similar premises, another one being the new Captain America film.

But i'm not saying it's a bad thing, because what is really important is where do you go from here? Does he just gets some super power? What does he learn from it?

In Spiderman, the message was "With great power, comes great responsibility" At first, Peter Parker thought everything was great, it's so cool, but soon he discovers that there's a whole new level of difficulties to deal with. And to look at it broadly, it could perhaps be commenting on that everyone wants to be someone else. A toddler looks upon a teen and thinks it's great to be a teen because they don't have bed time, or get told what to do. A teen looks upon a middle aged man and think how great it'd be to be like that, with all the freedom and rights adult get. A middle aged looks upon an old man and be envious of the wealth and peace and spare time, and an old man looks at a toddler, wondering where all the youthfulness has gone.

Or something like that, i'm just making things up as I go along.

The point is, what kind of message do you want to convey? what kind of emotion do you wish to trigger? what kind of senses do you wish to heighten? and what kind of thought would you like to provoke?
 
Here's a thought,

He gets to the last level, and his brother walks in and starts distracting him. He looses the last fight because of the distraction. He picks up the nintendo and smashes it over his brothers head. The brother backs away saying "just take my lunch money, whatever, just dont hit me with the nintendo again"

Camera zooms in on main characters eyes as realization dawns.

Next scene. School. A biff type with an expensive looking puffy ski jacket and a gold chain starts to pick on him as usual. Out of the protagonists backpack appears another used nintendo. He smashes it over the bully's head. Next scene, walking down street with new coat and wearing gold chain.

Next scene. Used car lot. Salesman in 10 gallon hat is pitching a used Porsche, when he offers a price, protagonist clobbers him with another nintendo from pack.

Next scene. Protagonist driving through town with loud music in Porsche, wearing puffy ski jacket, gold chain, and ten gallon hat. Pulls up to gas station, attendant comes out to pump gas. Zoom in on characters eyes, then attendant's eyes, then character's eyes.

Next scene. Main character standing behind counter at gas station. Customer comes in pulling wad of cash out of wallet. Stops, looking at pile of unconscious customers on floor. Protagonist leaps on top of counter and smashes another nintendo over his head. Takes car keys off of unconscious customer, and drives car around back to park with the other cars he has collected throughout the day.

Cops show up and surround the gas station.

Next scene. Lawyers office. The lawyer says, I can get you out of this, but there is the matter of my fee. Nintendo smash over lawyers head.

Next scene. Courtroom. The jury comes out, fragments of used nintendo in each of their hair. Nervously the jury foreman says "not guilty"

Protagonist, now wearing several jackets and gold chains, turns to lawyer who shrinks back into chair. "Say it" he says to the lawyer, producing yet another nintendo from underneath his court documents.

The frightened lawyer stands and says nervously "flawless victory" Camera pulls out from character as confetti falls from cieling for no reason, and upbeat music plays.
 
Thanks guys, I know it does sound like an awful lot like Spider-Man . But once I flesh it out, I'll try to make it less and less like Spider-Man. It's still in it's early stages.

But there is so many directions I could go. I was thinking after he figures out he has these super powers, he starts fighting all of the bullies at school to get attention from his crush, and eventually wins her over. I wanted to have her douche of a boyfriend become jealous and try to attempt the same process the kid did with the video game system, but to a much bigger/more dangerous level.

I'm still working it out. I'm not sure if this should be the first script I write, because it could possibly become too ambitious. I might have to write something smaller first and put this one back in the oven. haha. Thanks again guys!
 
A good story is about people and their journey through life; the incidents that occur are merely a vehicle for exploring the character(s). Even the better action/adventure films are more about how the situations affect the protagonist.
 
I also had an idea of taking the premise and making it take place in the summer, with a gang of bullies terrorizing the neighborhood and a group of friends who just discovered this strange new power try to fight them off. I just have yet to choose which direction I could go to make the best story I could possibly make.
 
Sounds cool man. How about he pops the untitled cartridge in and its gives him real life opponents, he chooses to fight the bully kid and winds up breaking his leg in the video game, then at school the next day the kid comes back in a wheelchair. The video game takes the struggles of the user and helps them literally beat the problem into submission. You'd have to create a couple more problems for the kid like maybe a teacher at school that's mistreating him, a father who abuses him. But all of these people would meet their end or be incapacitated by the kid playing the game.

Maybe he even has a friend who gets bullied and he shows him the game. Maybe he sees the kid being bullied and goes to stop it but gets his ass kicked because he's only strong in the game. He gets carried away hurting the people that mistreat him and his friend notices. He tries to reason with him but can't and because no one would believe the story of a magical video game, he has to defeat him himself. He goes to a chinese food store and talks to teh chefs who yell at him in chinese and point to an much older and wiser chef. Turns out he's an old programmer from the NES days and only created a Beta version of teh game. Now teh kid has his hookup and when teh other kid is playing at home he gets "CHALLENGED", they meet in a final showdown and teh kid beats his ass, finishing obviously with a Scorpion Fatality.
 
I like this idea; sort of somewhere between Spiderman and Scott Pilgrim. There's a lot you could do with it. You could extend that with different game genres; he has to play a new "magic cartridge" to learn a new moveset, as it were. He comes to a situation where he needs to do some old school platform hopping to scale a rocky cliff-face, but his fighting game skills do not avail him...so he loads up a Mario-style game and then has the jumping skills to find his way up. But once he's up there, he's faced with an RPG boss, and needs to change skills again!

Of course, for that to be practical, it'd have to be a portable rather than a SNES. Otherwise he'd have to run home every time he wanted to throw a punch! Unless he had a real-life "menu select"; stops time to load up a new game/move-set!
 
I think that's what I'm going for. :lol:

It'd be great.. maybe no one remembers who was attacking them. He and his buddy go to the chinese store earlier to talk about the game to better understand it but the Mr. Myagi plays aloof and "doesn't know what they're talking about". They do a little of their own research into the game and come up with a loose end involving a younger Mr. Myagi. After they beat up the third person bullying them, there's a police search for an unknown assailant. He tries to talk him outta using the game anymore, but the kid isn't getting bullied anymore, he has minimal problems and because he is aggressive and assertive in the game he's becoming so in real life. He hits the friend. He goes back to the local Chinese food spot, gets yelled at in that stereotypical loud Chinese yelling, then, after pleading, Mr Myagi is there to give him advice on how to beat his friend. He brings him to the back of the restaurant where they plug in and he challenges the other kid. Because its a challenge they get transported to a new arena. They fight, the friend almost loses, but comes back with some secret to the game that Mr. Myagi taught him. The original kid loses. After winning the friend runs over to his buddies house to patch the friendship up. His parents are home nurturing him. he tells them he was beaten by bullies(this is key). They walk to school the next day, they go to some spot and toss teh game out, as they turn around some bullies approach and they just brush off his remarks.
 
My idea starts off the same but varies after the opening.

After the kid get shocked by the game his life functions like a video game. For instance, he can replay/restart days/events like game levels. He can be trying to talk to the girl and fail a bunch of times but keep replaying the scene until he gets it right. Or repeating a lie to someone multiple times until he gets a story that they believe. Maybe he can could pause his daily life at any time similar to the movie "Click". I would also give him like 10 lives, so he could die and restart but only a limited number of times. In additon to all the cool things he could do with his life as a video game there would be some negatives. Like the final boss from the game somehow has came through from the game to his real life and would be trying to kill him. And if he doesnt defeat the boss before he runs out of lives his real life be "game over".
 
My idea starts off the same but varies after the opening.

After the kid get shocked by the game his life functions like a video game. For instance, he can replay/restart days/events like game levels. He can be trying to talk to the girl and fail a bunch of times but keep replaying the scene until he gets it right. Or repeating a lie to someone multiple times until he gets a story that they believe. Maybe he can could pause his daily life at any time similar to the movie "Click". I would also give him like 10 lives, so he could die and restart but only a limited number of times. In additon to all the cool things he could do with his life as a video game there would be some negatives. Like the final boss from the game somehow has came through from the game to his real life and would be trying to kill him. And if he doesnt defeat the boss before he runs out of lives his real life be "game over".

That sounds like an excellent idea, especially about the boss from the game.
 
Fill in the blanks:

My protagonist needs_____________

If he/she doesn't get it _____________________________

The thing(s) standing in the way of his/her success is/are______________________________

The thing/person standing in the way (antagonist) needs _______________________________

and he/she/it opposes my protagonist because _____________________________________

If my antagonist fails ___________________________________________________

The thing that happens that nobody expects to happen is _______________________________

Start there.

Try it first with movies you remember well. Take any well crafted movie and you'll see how easy it is to fill in these blanks. Your story should be able to fill them in too. It's hard. So don't try to rush this.

Once you've figured it out, you'll have your logline which is basically:

Protagonist with a need versus antagonist with a need in interesting
setting… with twist.

For example:
A desperate radiologist, armed with proof of a president’s cancer, races against time and the attending physician’s plot to kill the president. h/t: Holly Lisle
 
I’m sorry but taking an original plot and bringing your own idea's into it is what makes good film. Look at Star Wars, Lucas took that story from "The Hidden Fortress", Reservoir Dogs was taken from "City on Fire" in my opinion both were pretty good, plus there’s so many more that have done the same. It’s all about keeping the attendances' attention; and good dialogue and characters does just that! So go for it bro. And may I add that your main character should say "I know kung fu" (A Matrix homage) when he figures about the video games responsible for his unique fighting abilities.
 
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That sounds like an excellent idea, especially about the boss from the game.

Kinda like a last action hero thing where teh movie villian comes to life in the real world. That'd be cool to watch.

Hey no problem Jay. Keep us updated, this sounds like a cool story any direction you take it.
 
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