archived-videos First short

[CrazyFrazee]

Hi folks,
I just shot my first short, called 106, and would love some feedback. Anything and everything, I would like to hear it. It's about 3 minutes long, and downloadable at my site:
www.moreartlessindie.com
I recommend the avi... just don't go with youtube, the audio went of sync (lame).
Thanks,
~ Paul

 

[jhisa]

Yeah, I'm really getting a feel for what worked and what didn't. It's especially apparent without the sound that the camera work is kinda dull. And the story definitely needed just an extra bit of fleshing out.

Well alright, this has been immensely helpful. Hopefully I'll shoot another short before my project so I can try to correct my mistakes here.
Thanks guys.

I kind of think the camera work is for the most part good, maybe they can be cut a little faster with more closeups.
I think what I'd like to see is more plot set up and more dialog, making everyone suspicious of one another or something like that and then of course the hitchcock ending. I really think you should keep going with that one even if it was an "A".